Do you often wonder, ‘why does my boyfriend never compliment me?’ While you know complimenting could make you feel special and even strengthen your relationship, he might have a different perspective on it. Perhaps he feels that’s not required, and your bond is already strong. Or is he saving the compliments for a special occasion? Delve into this post to explore some of the common reasons why your boyfriend doesn’t compliment you and if there are any ways to fix it.
10 Reasons Your Boyfriend Never Compliments You
Lack of compliments, encouragement, and appreciation could indicate relationship problems. Here are some possible reasons why your boyfriend doesn’t compliment you and how you can sort it out.
1. He is really busy
Your boyfriend must be stressed at work lately or preoccupied with other thoughts about his career or even personal life. He may genuinely be unable to acknowledge anything new about you, therefore failing to praise you.
What to do: If this is the case, then don’t stress about him not complimenting you. Instead, offer emotional support and verbal appreciation. Eventually, he will compliment you when he is relaxed and in the right frame of mind.
2. He does not find you physically attractive anymore
If your boyfriend never compliments your looks or does not show any romantic gestures, he probably does not find you physically attractive anymore. So, instead of flattering you unnecessarily, he chooses not to say anything.
What to do: Not all men are into the outer appearance of their partner–some value emotional connection. Your boyfriend probably admires your intelligence or expressions of love and may even compliment you for that. If he does compliment other attractive qualities of yours, then why fret? Instead, appreciate his idea of true beauty.
3. He feels too shy
No matter how long you have been in a relationship with your boyfriend, he may find giving compliments and showing affection difficult if he is a shy guy. It does not mean he has lower self-esteem or does not notice you. He is just not able to express his admiration for you.
What to do: Do not chide a sweet guy just because he feels shy to express his feelings. You can tell him he can be more open with you with kindness, but if he still won’t, try to understand him and not take offense.
4. He is a perfectionist
It could be that your boyfriend is someone who needs things to be in a certain way to feel impressed enough and compliment it. Perhaps he is a perfectionist and finds only perfection alluring. He gives you validation and offers words of affirmation only when something you do is absolutely flawless.
What to do: If you guy is someone with high expectations, you will have to decide if you want to raise the bar and work hard to impress him. It is only when you do something exceptional that you can expect some words of flattery from him and you need to decide if that is worth the effort.
5. He takes you for granted
Once a person has been in a relationship for a considerable amount of time, they take their partner for granted. Perhaps your boyfriend feels you will be there with him for the long haul and does not see the need to compliment you or even impress you. The lack of a challenge makes him complacent.
What to do: In this case, talk it out with him. Tell him how his lax attitude toward your relationship may push you away from him. If possible, give him examples of how you have acknowledged his efforts while he hardly notices anything about you.
6. He fails to get a reaction from you
In the past, maybe your boyfriend has complimented you sincerely, but you seemed to brush it off or not pay heed to it. He probably thinks that you do not care about compliments and there is no use giving you one as it makes no difference to you.
What to do: In this case, you can share your feelings with your boyfriend and ask him why he has stopped complimenting you. Tell him that his opinion matters to you and you do feel special when he compliments you.
7. He is aware of your flaws
Once the initial high of a new relationship fades, you start to see your partner’s imperfections more clearly. Your partner may now be acquainted with these and may not be into you as much as they were initially. This can be the reason why they don’t compliment you.
What to do: This happens in many relationships, and if he can’t accept you with your imperfections, it doesn’t mean the end of things. All you need to do is have an honest and open conversation with your partner. Communication is the key in this scenario. Ask for feedback and question where he sees your relationship going, and based on the answer, decide your next step.
8. He has someone else in his life
When a man gets involved with another person, he stops noticing his partner and focuses on the other relationship. Maybe your boyfriend has someone else in his life, so he does not look at you the way he used to, let alone give you a sincere compliment.
What to do: If you find out your boyfriend is cheating on you, it is best to move away from him. There is no point in being with a man who does not respect you.
9. He is using compliments to control you
At the start of your relationship, your boyfriend may have showered you with compliments only to impress you and to date you. Now that he has got what he wanted, he may control his compliments to make you work hard to impress him. Alternatively, he may resort to flattery only when he needs something from you.
What to do: If you feel that your boyfriend has been manipulating you, then it is best to let go of any hope for compliments and stay away from such a person.
10. He is reconsidering the relationship
After getting into a relationship, some people feel nervous about making a long-term commitment and reconsider the relationship. Perhaps your boyfriend is not sure about the relationship and has been having second thoughts, which is why he does not feel like complimenting you.
What to do: If his behavior makes you feel like he is not into the relationship anymore, then sit down with him and talk it out. If he seems unsure, consider breaking up with him as they probably are looking elsewhere before settling for you.
Men have their reasons, some could be genuine and a few might be unpleasant. It could also be possible that he has past relationship traumas that he hasn’t overcome yet. Something similar happened to Corren York, a writer. Talking about her experience of how her boyfriend did not compliment her enough, she says, “When I explained that his lack of verbal appreciation for my appearance made me feel a bit crappy, he explained how he once showered an ex with compliments — basically wrote poetry dedicated to her looks — and then she broke his heart. Since then he’s been reluctant to display the same level of open admiration when it comes to the women he dates. It’s not that he doesn’t like the way I look, but rather that a bad experience with an ex has burned itself into his mind and behaviour (i).”
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Are compliments important in a relationship?
Yes, compliments are an important part of any relationship. Complimenting your partner makes them feel appreciated and loved. It will help strengthen your bond and show them you are not taking them for granted. Hence, genuine compliments can help you enjoy a long-lasting and fulfilling relationship.
2. Why Do I struggle to give compliments?
Some people are unsure of the reaction of the other person to their compliments and are skeptical that they would be misjudged. Others may find it difficult to make a compliment due to general social anxiety. Additionally, there are many who are not comfortable with receiving compliments themselves and may think of others as the same. Whatever the reason, making a conscious effort to compliment your partner can help improve your relationship.
3. How often do guys get compliments?
Men are seen to be complimented less often compared to girls. Men, however, get more compliments on their possessions than on looks or personality.
My boyfriend never compliments me – does this complaint sound familiar? If yes, talk to your boyfriend and discuss your expectations with them. Appreciate and compliment each other and keep the spark alive in the relationship. However, some people may be shy and not too verbal about their emotions. If your man does not compliment you but loves you and treats you well otherwise, do not fret about his words; instead, focus on his actions.
Infographic: Noticing The Red Flags In Your Boyfriend’s Compliments
Partners should compliment each other to boost their confidence and make them feel special. We may miss out on things amidst our hectic schedules, but if your boyfriend never complimented you or gives half-hearted compliments, maybe you should start looking out for these signs below to figure out if something’s wrong.
- Complimenting in a relationship can make your other half feel seen, loved, appreciated, and valued.
- It can be hurtful to women when their boyfriends do not compliment or appreciate them anymore.
- Being in another relationship, being busy with the stresses of life, or not getting a response from you are some of the many reasons your guy no longer compliments you.
There are no absolute rules on how a boyfriend should treat their partner. However, one can learn eight reasons why their boyfriend never compliments them.
Personal Experience: Source
i. I asked my boyfriend why he doesn’t compliment me;