Parents who have one child can sometimes draw criticism due to the term called ‘only child syndrome.’ Whether or not to have more than one child is entirely up to a parent. It is a widely believed fallacy that a single child with no siblings is not loving and empathetic. They could develop anxiety disorders or become spoilt brats. In this post, we talk about ‘only child syndrome’ its signs. Read on.
Is Only Child Syndrome Real?
When we come across the term ‘only child syndrome’ or ‘a family with one child,’ we are often transported to China, known for its one-child policy, which was introduced way back in 1979 and is believed to be the origin of the one-child syndrome (1).
Multiple studies have been done on families with single children both in China and the West to understand the development of a child with and without siblings. Most of these studies state that compared to adults who grew up with siblings, those who grew up as single children showed differences in their social behaviors (2).
However, we must understand that the personality and behavior of only children and children with siblings are not dependent merely on the presence or absence of siblings. Multiple factors influence a child’s personality.
Though studies have explained social differences between single children and those with siblings, the stereotype that only children are selfish, lonely, or maladjusted is not conclusively proven (3).
Characteristics Of Only Child Syndrome
Some differences have been noticed in studies between children with and without siblings. Let’s have a look at a few of them. However, these characteristics may not hold for all single children (1).
1. Less social
Having a sibling opens one to the possibility of sharing and caring. The National Survey of Families and Households data showed that the adults who grew up without siblings had less social activities than those who had siblings during their growing up years. They also participated differently in sports and school-related activities (2).
However, this does not mean that single children do not share. Since single children have siblings to share their life with during their formative years, they could become self-sufficient and less social too. While they may not be anti-social, they may have a smaller friend circle.
2. Lesser interaction with relatives
Siblings usually outlive parents and are present throughout one’s life. This makes them the longest relatives and close family to interact with in their entire life. The 2011 case studies on American adults indicated that compared to people with siblings, there is a chance that single children without relatives may not have this bond and tend to spend less time with relatives or interact with them (2).
Only children may turn out to be more ambitious, sometimes even more than a first-born with siblings. This has been attributed to the fact that single children get the complete attention of their parents, who are more likely to notice and praise their achievements, which could benefit them.
4. Self-reliant and adjusted
Single children tend to be self-adjusting when it comes to emotions and their parent’s undivided affection makes them emotionally stable. However, these characteristics may change over time as they grow into adults.
Children without siblings can be more independent and tend to have more confidence than those with siblings. This arises from their time spent alone in their growing up years. They have learned how to entertain themselves and are comfortable being alone.
6. Higher IQ
Single children may have a higher IQ than those with siblings. It could be because they spent more time learning and engaging in extracurricular activities than socializing.
7. Difficult to manage conflict
A 2002 study stated that only children were less likely to be liked by their classmates and had a high chance of being victimized and aggressive in their peer group. This throws some light on how having siblings at home can help to manage a conflict better (4).
8. Less agreeable personalities
Though single children are creative, well-rounded, and intelligent, they tend to score low on agreeable personality traits. A 2011 study conducted in China stated that people who grew up in single-children families tend to be more narcissistic than those with siblings (5).
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What are the disadvantages of being an only child?
Some disadvantages of being an only child are that they cannot share their feelings on a daily basis and may be under extra parental pressure to perform well in academics and extracurricular activities. In addition, they may also have to find ways to play, entertain, and self-motivate themselves without a sibling.
2. Are parents of only children happier?
Although there is not much research to confirm this statement, one study demonstrated that a mother’s mental health might improve after her first child’s birth. However, a second child’s birth could impact a father’s psychological well-being (6)
Having a single child is a personal choice. Planning another child to ensure that your child doesn’t get spoilt is incorrect. Remember, babies, toddlers, and young children throw tantrums and often exhibit behavioral problems, but that doesn’t always indicate that the child is suffering from the only child syndrome. Yes, having a sibling helps shape one’s behavior. However, it isn’t the only factor that decides how a child will behave. Positive parenting practices, social experiences, and guidance at school are a few additional factors that impact a child’s behavior.
Infographic: Common Myths About An Only Child
Being an only child or a parent to an only child, you may have heard people saying, “It must get lonely for you” or “Oh! You must have spoiled him/her a lot.”
These common misconceptions about an only child need to be debunked. So check this infographic out to learn the common stereotypes associated with an only child and save it to give the people a fact check.
- Studies showed behavioral differences between children who grew up with siblings and those raised as single children.
- However, there is no conclusive evidence to prove that single children are loners, self-centered, or have adjustment problems.
- Being ambitious, less interactive with relatives, and having a higher IQ are a few characteristics of only child syndrome.
- M Potts China’s One-Child Policy 2006;
- K Trent, G D. Spitze, Growing up without siblings and adult sociability responsibilities, 2012;
- T Falbo, The only child: A review, Journal of Individual Psychology; 1977;
- K M. Kitzmann et al.; Are Only Children Missing Out? Comparison of the Peer-Related Social Competence of Only Children and Siblings, Journal of Social and Personal Relationships;
- H Cai, V S. Y. Kwan, C Sedikides, A Sociocultural Approach to Narcissism: The Case of Modern China, European Journal of Personality;
- Leah Ruppanner et al. (2018); Harried and Unhealthy? Parenthood Time Pressure and Mental Health.