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Your man seemed like an angel when you met him, and all the way through your marriage, until you gave birth, suddenly starts to seem like an alien. You are startled at your sagaciousness about marrying this man. All those qualities you thought made him exotic have begun to appear hackneyed, and you think most men endow them naturally. Behold those maternity wards, the sleepless nights, the exhaustion, and the recovery time after delivery. But, you are certainly not in love. You two are living in a myriad of differences with each other but sharing the same sky.
Here’s why you two could have developed differences with each other:
1. Postpartum depression
There is always some blame-game happening. You might blame your husband for just about everything that is in no way associated with him directly; your kind husband blames your hormones around you getting mad and loud at him. Postpartum depression is something many women go through. Women also put pressure on themselves that as moms they should do everything for their baby single-handedly, and any help that comes from their partners could seem ‘unwarrantedly’ annoying at times. Usually, the mood swings last only a few weeks. But if you find yourself suffering from depression for a prolonged period after delivery, it might be the time to get some professional consultation.
2. It’s easier to yell at your partner than at your baby
Honestly, some of your anger is also directed at the birth of your child you have lost the freedom you once had. For the next few weeks – even months – it’s house-arrest. Your immobility and mental stagnation can make you cranky. But, your baby neither deserves any anger nor can you complain about it. Instead, you redirect your anger at your husband for reasons unknown.
3. Sleep deprivation
Sleep plays a pivotal role in keeping your body and soul together. But when that doesn’t happen (you’ve already given up on the regular sleeping pattern), you go berserk. The night time feeding sessions are also accompanied with diaper changing times and the fact that you simply wake up because you want to check on your baby means that you have been sleeping fewer hours than you should. Your total sleep hours don’t even make up the straight standard eight hours sleep.
4. Not following the right diet
Indulging in the right diet isn’t simply a pregnancy mantra. Your post-pregnancy body requires many nutrients because most of what you consume are passed onto your baby. Calcium, iron, and proteins are primary supplements that most doctors would recommend. Drinking milk, munching on almonds, walnuts or pecans, and leafy vegetables like spinach, are must-haves post pregnancy. An imbalance in postpartum diet could lead to crankiness enough to dislike your spouse!
5. Drinking adequate water
Water is the elixir of life – during pregnancy, post pregnancy and even otherwise. Ensure that you drink at least two liters of water every day. Dehydration causes anxiety and irritability – and if you weren’t aware of that, it’s time you understand how water could help you connect with your husband.
6. Use stress-busting tricks
Salvage some time to speak to your friends, go out to buy groceries or simply go out for a walk in the park. Mild exercises (as advised by your doctor) few weeks after birth (mainly breathing exercises), and staying positive can help you keep stress at bay and make you feel nice about your husband.
7. Communicating frequently
It’s important to be vocal with your husband. Let him know how you feel about a given situation. Don’t bottle up feelings until they erupt at the most vulnerable of times. Communicating will help you do a lot of emotional cleanups.
How did childbirth bring about differences with your husband? Write back to us.
