9 Reasons Why Some Affairs Last For Years

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Extramarital affairs can ruin families and relationships. These affairs, at least the majority of them, start as casual ones or flings but end up doing irreversible damage to both the involved partners, their spouses, and also their children. While some of these affairs may last weeks, some might last months, and others may continue for years. Why is it that some affairs are just a flash in the pan, but others last long? What are the contributing factors? Why do some affairs last for years? Delve into our post to know the reasons.

Why Do Some Affairs Last For Years: 9 Reasons

1. Natural inclination for polyamory

Some people are inherently inclined to have multiple sexual partners. Their affinity to be polyamorous has nothing to do with their spouse’s behavior in marriage. They have flings, which sometimes turn into affairs owing to their physical compulsions.

2. Escape from the monotony of marriage

Most people who have extramarital affairs consider marriage to be banal and boring. They look for other partners because they seek excitement in newer things, and to this end, they seek new partners to fulfill their needs and desires.

3. Getting back at partner

Some married people don’t have compatibility with their partner, be it physical, emotional, or mental, which gradually leads to resentment and hatred towards their spouse. This spite could turn into frustration, and they end up having affairs with the goal of getting even with their partner.

4. Partner is a narcissist

Dealing with a narcissistic spouse can be taxing both emotionally and mentally. Sometimes, to escape the apathy and unrequited love of their partner, people start having affairs. They seek love, affection, and contentment that they lack in life in these relationships.

5. Societal compulsions

Some of the married persons who get into affairs after marriage are usually the ones who are forced to cohabit with their partners owing to peer and societal pressures. They avoid that extreme step of divorce and have an affair to seek love and solace outside of marriage.

6. Casual affairs turn into love

Without the two people involved in the affair realizing, sometimes casual affairs transform into serious relationships. They go to the extent of completely ignoring their spouses and start investing their entire time, money, emotions in their paramours.

7. Affairs become an addiction

Though the affair might be fun and exciting for the two people involved, at the outset, spending long periods together can insidiously turn into an addiction. This addiction can be physical and emotional, and both may find it extremely difficult to live without the other.

8. Sexual incompatibility with spouse

Lack of physical intimacy and compatibility with your spouse also plays a key role in extramarital relationships running for years on end. Once you strike a chord with your lover with respect to physical intimacy, the chances of going back to your spouse decrease.

9. Abusive partner

When you are living with a partner who abuses you verbally, physically, mentally, and psychologically, the easiest escape route is an affair. Of course, leaving them for good is the ideal solution, but people tend to feel that seeking solace in a new partner gives them relief.

There are various factors that influence the longevity of affairs. The ideal thing to do to avoid cheating in a marriage is to talk it out when issues prop up and resolve them amicably. While having an affair and cheating on your spouse may give instant gratification and seem like a temporary solution, in the long run, it is detrimental to your spouse, partner, and family.

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Siddharth Kesiraju

Siddharth holds a master's degree in communication and journalism from the University of Hyderabad. He has around six years of experience in various fields of writing and editing. As an associate editor at MomJunction, Siddharth edits and ensures the articles are aligned with the website's editorial standards. Having done a certification course in Relationship Coaching, he also writes on Relationships.... more