Parenting is a journey that is filled with its ups and downs. There will be moments when you’re so proud of yourself, and then there will be moments when you feel like an absolute mess. As parents, we can’t be perfect all the time and it’s completely normal to make mistakes every now and then. There may have been instances where you yelled at your kids for no reason or acted a certain way that seemed to be unfair to your child in hindsight. However, rest assured that you’re not the first parent to make a mistake when it comes to your kid, nor will you be the last one. But what’s important is that you are able to recognize the thing you did wrong and put in the effort to correct it. What’s more, you can recover from your parenting mistakes and start on a new page too.
If you’re wondering how to go about fixing your mistakes of the past you’ve come to the right place. In this article, we’ll discuss ways on how to recover from the common parenting mistakes, So, without further ado, let’s dive in:
1. Recognize Your Mistakes
The first and the most crucial step to fix a mistake is understanding and recognizing that there was a mistake in the first place. Honestly, babies don’t come with a rule book titled “Parenting 101”, so the best way to be a parent is to wing it. Sometimes, you may falter, and sometimes you may ace it. People often say “mothers know best”, but honestly, that doesn’t apply all the time. There’s a long way to go, and parenting is a full-time job. So, the earlier you identify and recognize your mistakes, the better it is for you and your baby.
2. Get To The Root Of The Problem
Once you have figured that you have made a mistake, the next step is to get down to the bottom of it. This means you need to ask yourself why it happened or why you did what you did. For example, if you lost your cool with your child when it was no fault of theirs, then you need to try to find out why you did that. It could be because you had a bad day at work, and your anger was misplaced. Or maybe, you got into a tiff with someone on the road, which set the pace for a sour mood. Once you identify the root cause, you’re a step closer to addressing the core problem.
3. Accept And Apologize
Considering that you’re a parent, you could assume that you don’t owe your kid an apology. After all, you’re the figure of authority, right? Wrong! When someone makes a mistake, an apology must follow suit, and this applies to a parent-child relationship as well. Go to your child and apologize for what you did to them. When you do this, you aren’t just fixing a mistake; you are also strengthening the bond you have with your child. There’s more — you are also setting an excellent example for your child. When they see you owning your mistake, they begin to learn that it is the right thing to do. The sense of fairness that your child will learn from this will guide him/her in the future in their own interactions.
4. Talk About It
Your child hasn’t seen life as much as you have, but through you, they will understand that sometimes people make mistakes. Explain the situation to your child so they know where your concern comes from too. The idea is not to justify your mistake but to show them that different perspectives exist. They will also get a chance to reflect on their actions. When you talk about it, also encourage them to share their experience and feelings with you. Let them discuss what they went through and how you made them feel. Finally, you can discuss and ask them for suggestions about doing things better the next time. When you elevate your kid to have a real conversation, they too will slowly learn to be responsible in their behavior and how they interact with others.
5. Lessons Learnt
They say that experience is the best teacher — this is true. Whatever mistakes you made was an experience that paved the way for new learning. That is not all, your children will learn from your mistakes as well, and this way, hopefully, they won’t repeat the same mistakes. Having said that, there is another popular quote — “The first time was a mistake, the second time was a choice”. So, learn from your mistakes, but also learn not to repeat them. Learning from one’s own mistake is the real growth in a person and something we all should strive to do.
6. Move On From It
You’re probably going on a guilt trip even after the matter has been resolved. It’s normal for you to feel terrible about making a mistake, especially if it concerns your kid. We can’t discount the fact that parents are put under a lot of pressure to be the epitome of perfection. Parents aren’t allowed to falter in most cases, and any misstep is viewed as a big deal. However, you are human too. You’ve made a mistake, learned from it, apologized for it, and now it’s time to move on! And, do better next time!
As seen from above, making mistakes is common and you shouldn’t beat yourself up too much over it. Instead, accept the mistake and own up to it. Fortunately, children don’t hold on to grudges too long and soon they will forgive your mistakes. This gives you an excellent opportunity to start on a new page. However, it’s good to not repeat the mistakes over and over just because they are your kids. So put efforts into becoming the best version of yourself and your children will also learn from you. Do you have any personal experiences of recovering from some parenting skates? Share with us in the comments below.