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Starting a new relationship with someone you love can be a thrilling experience. But you may not want to rush things as it can lead to a fallout. If you wish to learn about some signs of a relationship moving too fast, this post can help.
The butterflies you get every time you see each other and how they make you blush can tempt you to meet them. However, getting intimate too quickly and too often, planning about marriage and children, talking about shared financial interests can be too soon if you have just begun your journey with each other.
Lee Meyer, a blogger, shares how taking it slow has helped her understand the relationship better. She says, “I move too fast in relationships. It’s a bad habit, and I’ve been working on it for literally years, as one does when a major part of their personal life is the subject of drama and intense feelings. So I resolved to move glacially slow with the ‘Guy,’ no matter how much I wanted to have him sweep me off my feet under the sunset. I was extremely nervous about bringing him to my friend’s wedding… I had no idea what to expect. Suffice it to say, our alone time together was a new experience for me, but it was one that proved to be really nice.”
Meyer continues, “Since the wedding, we’ve continued at a regular pace, and I feel good about it. For the first time, I feel content to let things be. If I take one thing from my time with Guy, it’s that dating can be fun, romantic, and lead to deep connections without the emotional meltdowns and panic attacks (i).”
This post will talk about a fast-moving relationship, including its signs and a few tips to help you slow down and move ahead carefully.
Signs Your Relationship Is Moving Too Fast
When you are in love, your feelings for your partner may overshadow your ability to think. This could prevent you from taking logical steps in the relationship. Here, we list a few signs that indicate you may be moving too fast with the relationship and need to slow down.
1. You are ignoring your friends
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Every relationship is unique, be it with your love interest or your friends. You may share a special bond with your friends but could be ignoring them (intentionally or unintentionally) after getting into a new relationship. When you put your friends in the backseat and prioritize only your significant other, it may be a sign that you are going through your relationship in a haste.
2. You recently had a breakup
If you have recently experienced a break up with someone but found someone new who you got attached to too quickly, chances are you are rushing into a relationship.
Moving from one relationship to another without a gap could be a pattern that most people fail to identify. After a failed relationship, you become lonely, and your heart looks out for support. It is a time when you are vulnerable and quickly connect with people who empathize with you. If your love story has a similar pattern and you are getting involved in your new relationship too soon after a breakup, you may be moving too quickly.
Quick tip3. You and your partner avoid important conversations
If two people are in love with each other, they may be discussing some serious matters such as marriage, past, family and friends, finances, work, or values and beliefs. But if you think that such discussions may spoil the lovey-dovey relationship you now share, then there’s some uncertainty in your relationship. And if you still want to go ahead and make big decisions, it is a sign that you are moving with too much swiftness in the relationship.
4. You do not know much about your partner
You are charmed by your love interest and feel you would be happy spending your life with them, even though you don’t know many things about them. For instance, you have no clue about their work, you hardly know about their family members, you don’t know much about their lifestyle, and you have no idea about their friends’ circle. If that is the case, you should slow down and learn more about each other before thinking about the future or making any decisions together.
Do remember5. You are planning to move in
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Moving in together may give you benefits such as cost-effectiveness, managing bills together, helping each other when required, and to make love whenever possible.
Amid such positive thoughts, you may forget or overlook the negatives and end up moving in before you are ready for it. The decision to live together within just a few weeks or months of a relationship could be a bad idea. It is better to wait until you know each other well enough before changing the living arrangements.
6. You hardly had any fights
Fights, arguments, and disagreements are an inescapable part of a relationship. Also, you get to know a lot about your partner during and after the fight. If there haven’t been any such conflicts in your relationship, then you still have a long way to go before making any serious decisions. In the initial phase of the relationship, everything seems to be rosy – you may only see the sweet and loving side of your partner.
Do you know how they are when they are angry, refused something, or when there is a conflict of interest? If you are making big decisions about life without knowing everything about the person, it could mean that you are moving with breakneck speed in your love life.
7. Your sexual life is too strong
Physical intimacy is good, but too much of anything may blur your thought process. If sex is the only significant aspect that is keeping you and your partner connected, then you are not in a balanced relationship. The exciting and fun phase could be temporary, after which you may discover other things that you may not like about your partner.
If you think you are in love due to the sexual chemistry, chances are you are rushing in. Before you get too serious about the relationship, try to find out if you and your partner are compatible in other areas too.
Point to consider8. You don’t have time for yourself
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When you enter into a new relationship, your life may turn topsy-turvy. You would no longer have time to binge-watch your favorite series or indulge in other activities that you like. You may have to juggle between your work and your romantic life and may end up not having time for yourself. When you feel suffocated or cramped for time for important things, then you probably have invested too much in the relationship too soon.
9. You don’t have a proper timeline
In an ideal relationship, partners plan out their future logically. For instance, they would want to spend more time with each other before making any commitment. After committing, they would think about meeting family and friends, moving in, getting engaged or married.
If there are no set timelines in your relationship and you are rushing to make significant changes early on, then you both may be running too fast. The longer you take to get serious about the relationship, the better you will know each other.
10. You are influencing each other’s financial or personal decisions
If you and your partner are influencing each other’s financial or personal decisions, it indicates a significant level of collaboration in your relationship. This suggests that you both value each other’s opinions and want to get the best out of each other. While this influence can be positive, it is crucial to maintain a balance between personal space and dependence in the relationship.
Tips To Slow Down Relationship When Moving Too Fast
Relationships are a major part of our lives. They could lead us towards a happy and secure future or teach us a big lesson for life. For a favorable outcome, it is better to think and rethink and slow down the pace before making any important decisions that may affect your life.
- Be honest with your partner
When you think your relationship is moving too fast and you feel confused, tell your partner about it. The conversation between you and your partner should be smooth. And if you both love each other, then there shouldn’t be any problem in taking some more time before coming to a decision. If your loved one understands you, then they would respect your views.
- Give importance to all the relationships
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You don’t have to neglect your friends or other closed ones when you get into a new relationship. Your partner should indeed be your priority, but at the same time, you should maintain the rapport and relationships with your friends.
- Don’t rush to make decisions
When you are in love, you may be in a hurry to make big decisions such as moving in together, having a pet, meeting the parents, or planning a wedding. Instead of making decisions too soon, you should hold on to your thoughts and give your relationship some time.
- Personal space
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Even when you are in a romantic relationship, it is essential to have your own time and space. Instead of meeting your partner almost every day, plan to meet them two or three times and allocate the rest of the days for yourself. This way, you will not only have time for yourself but also get an opportunity to understand your partner and your relationship.
- Go out on double dates and group dates
To know how compatible you and your partner are, you may plan group dates. You can invite your friends or your partner’s friends and see how you both mingle with everyone. Some fun and some serious conversations may help you learn more about each other and tell you if you should take the relationship slowly or keep up the pace.
- Evaluate the relationship
Take some time away from your partner and try to evaluate your new relationship. Do you have the same vision or similar goals in life? Do you know about each other’s plans? Do you know each other’s family well? If the answer to these is ‘no,’ then spend more time to figure it out and then come to a conclusion about the relationship.
- Be practical
When in love, your thoughts may be clouded by the emotions you have for your partner. You may not be able to think practically when you should. And you may end up making the wrong decisions. It is essential to be practical and face fears instead of letting your emotions get the best of you. Ask yourself if you depend on your partner just for comfort or if you really love them. Take time and get some clarity on your relationship and decide.
- Set boundaries
Setting boundaries is important to slow down the relationship. It will allow you both to communicate your comfort levels and expectations. These boundaries give each other the space to assess the relationship and whether it is going in the right direction. Establishing boundaries allows mutual understanding and ensures that the relationship develops at a comfortable and manageable pace for both partners. Moreover, these boundaries encourage the partners to nurture their individuality.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Does moving too fast ruin relationships?
Moving fast or slow can be a matter of perception. Some couples may hit it off instantly, while a few may take time to connect and the relationship may seem forced for others. So, when you gel well with your partner and everything is smooth, there is no reason to press the panic button or exercise caution. However, if your friends and close ones are expressing concern about things moving too quickly, it is better to introspect and also discuss the concerns with your love to avoid potential pitfalls.
2. How quickly should relationships move?
There is no fixed speed at which romantic relationships ought to move because, after all, love and companionship are not highway driving, is it! But, if you started to ignore your friends, ignoring things that were once your priority, and making decisions only for your partner’s sake, it is time to pause and reflect on what changes the new relationship has brought. It is also important to be forthright with your partner about your feelings and discomfort, if any, to ensure your romantic flame keeps burning for a long time.
3. Can a relationship that moves fast last?
A relationship that moves fast may last if the individuals involved are mature, have a high level of compatibility, are ready to communicate openly, and maintain a healthy relationship with a commitment to work through challenges.
4. How fast should a relationship progress?
There is no set time for a relationship to progress. It varies for each couple. Ideally, a relationship should progress at a rate that makes both parties feel comfortable. They must develop an emotional connection and have mutual understanding, love, and respect for each other.
5. How do I communicate to my partner that our relationship is moving too fast?
Select a time when both of you are calm and relaxed. Talk openly and honestly about your concerns. Make sure you do not blame or judge them for their behavior. Listen actively to what they say and try to find a solution to build a better relationship.
6. What healthy boundaries to set in a relationship that’s moving too fast?
Some healthy boundaries you can set in a too-fast relationship are allocating time for personal interests and space, avoiding codependency, communicating openly about your issues, and maintaining social connections outside of the relationship.
7. Is it possible for a relationship to start slow and then suddenly start moving too fast?
Yes, a relationship can start slow but suddenly move too fast. As you grow, your priorities and personal circumstances change, and so do the dynamics of your relationship. However, assessing how you and your partner feel about the relationship’s speed is important.
8. Is it possible to find a healthy balance between moving too fast and too slow in a relationship?
Although this balance is different for every couple, you need to find your comfortable pace and develop a deep level of understanding and emotional connection with your partner to find the balance. By communicating regularly and respecting boundaries, you will find the perfect balance that ensures that both of you are happy and satisfied.
If your relationship moves too fast, it may not be a healthy and lasting one. It is natural to want to spend all of your time with your partner when you have just fallen in love. But rash decisions made during this time can lead to rifts in a potentially good relationship. So take your time to know each other while maintaining a balance between your lives and the people around you. Let things happen gradually and cherish the present moments without rushing to bigger decisions. This way, you can form a deeper and more meaningful connection with each other.
Infographic: How To Know If Your Relationship Is Moving Too Fast?
Being consistent and taking things slowly in a new relationship will help stabilize and build your bond with your partner. However, a relationship might break down if it moves too slowly or quickly. Check out the infographic below for more information on the telltale signs of a relationship moving too quickly.
Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Key Pointers
- Moving too fast in a relationship can cause issues since both partners do not have enough time to know each other’s qualities and flaws.
- Avoiding important conversations or hardly having any disagreements may signify your relationship is moving faster than it should.
- Giving importance to all your relationships and being honest with your partner are some ways to avoid making a hasty decision.
Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. Aspects of love (or alone-time);https://hollandaiseblog.wordpress.com/2013/05/05/aspects-of-love-or-alone-time/
