The constant blush on your face, butterflies in your stomach, the eagerness to see them again, and the inexpressible urge to be with them now and forever – it is all so thrilling.
As exciting as it may be to be with your new partner, you may not want to rush into anything. So, if you are getting intimate too often and too early in the relationship, or are talking about marriage and children, or sharing financial interests and plans, you may want to take a pause and ask yourself – isn’t it too soon for all this?
Is your relationship moving too fast? If you agree or suspect that it is, read this MomJunction post. Here, we tell you about the signs of a relationship moving too fast and give you a few tips on how to slow down and move ahead carefully.
Signs Your Relationship Is Moving Too Fast
When you are in love, your feelings for your partner may overshadow your ability to think. This could prevent you from taking logical steps in the relationship. Here, we list a few signs that indicate you may be moving too fast with the relationship and need to slow down.
1. You are ignoring your friends
Every relationship is unique, be it with your love interest or your friends. You may share a special bond with your friends but could be ignoring them (intentionally or unintentionally) after getting into a new relationship. When you put your friends in the backseat and prioritize only your significant other, spending more time with them, it may be a sign that you are rushing through your relationship.
2. You recently had a breakup
If you recently broke up with someone but found someone else who you got attached to quickly, chances are you are rushing into a relationship.
Moving from one relationship to another without a gap could be a pattern that most people fail to identify. After a failed relationship, you become lonely, and your heart looks out for support. It is a time when you are vulnerable and quickly connect with people who empathize with you. If your love story has a similar pattern and you are getting involved in your new relationship too soon after a breakup, you may be moving too quickly.
3. You and your partner avoid important conversations
If two people are in love with each other, they may be discussing some serious matters such as marriage, past, family or friends, finances, work, or values and beliefs. But if you think that such discussions may spoil the lovey-dovey relationship you now share, then there’s some uncertainty in your relationship. And if you still want to go ahead and make big decisions, it is a sign that you are moving too fast in the relationship.
4. You do not know much about your partner
You are charmed by your love interest and feel you would be happy spending your life with them, even though you don’t know many things about them. For instance, you have no clue about their work, you hardly know about their family members, you don’t know much about their lifestyle, and you have no idea about their friends’ circle. If that is the case, you should slow down and learn more about each other before thinking about the future or making any decisions together.
5. You are planning to move in
Moving in together may give you benefits such as cost-effectiveness, managing bills together, helping each other when required, and to make love whenever possible.
Amid such positive thoughts, you may forget or overlook the negatives and end up moving in before you are ready for it. The decision to live together within just a few weeks or months of relationship could be a bad idea. It is better to wait until you know each other well enough before changing the living arrangements.
6. You hardly had any fights
Fights, arguments, and disagreements are an inescapable part of a relationship. Also, you get to know a lot about your partner during and after the fight. If there haven’t been any such conflicts in your relationship, then you still have a long way to go before making any serious decisions. In the initial phase of the relationship, everything seems to be rosy – you may only see the sweet and loving side of your partner.
Do you know how they are when they are angry, refused something, or when there is a conflict of interest? If you are making big decisions about life without knowing everything about the person, it could mean that you are moving too fast in your love life.
7. Your sexual life is too strong
Physical intimacy is good, but too much of anything may blur your thought process. If sex is the only or significant aspect that is keeping you and your partner connected, then you are not in a balanced relationship. The exciting and fun phase could be temporary, after which you may discover other things that you may not like about your partner.
If you think you are in love due to the sexual chemistry, chances are you are rushing in. Before you get too serious about the relationship, try to find out if you and your partner are compatible in other areas too.
8. You don’t have time for yourself
When you enter into a new relationship, your life may turn topsy-turvy. You would no longer have time to binge-watch your favorite series or indulge in other activities that you like. You may have to juggle between your work and your romantic life and may end up not having time for yourself. When you feel suffocated or cramped for time for important things, then you probably have invested too much in the relationship too soon.
9. You don’t have a proper timeline
In an ideal relationship, partners plan out their future logically. For instance, they would want to spend more time with each other before making any commitment. After committing, they would think about meeting family and friends, moving in, getting engaged or married.
If there are no set timelines in your relationship and you are rushing to make significant changes early on, then you both may be running too fast. The longer you take to get serious about the relationship, the better you will know each other.
Tips To Slow Down Relationship When Moving Too Fast
Relationships are a major part of our lives. They could lead us towards a happy and secure future or teach us a big lesson for life. For a favorable outcome, it is better to think and rethink and slow down the pace before making any important decisions that may affect your life.
- Be honest with your partner
When you think your relationship is moving too fast and you feel confused, tell your partner about it. The conversation between you and your partner should be smooth. And if you both love each other, then there shouldn’t be any problem in taking some more time before coming to a decision. If your loved one understands you, then they would respect your views.
- Give importance to all the relationships
You don’t have to neglect your friends or other closed ones when you get into a new relationship. Your partner should indeed be your priority, but at the same time, you should maintain the rapport and relationships with your friends.
- Don’t rush to make decisions
When you are in love, you may be in a hurry to make big decisions such as moving in together, having a pet, meeting the parents, or planning a wedding. Instead of making decisions too soon, you should hold on to your thoughts and give your relationship some time.
- Personal space
Even when you are in a romantic relationship, it is essential to have your own time and space. Instead of meeting your partner almost every day, plan to meet them two or three times and allocate the rest of the days for yourself. This way, you will not only have time for yourself but also get an opportunity to understand your partner and your relationship.
- Go on double dates and group dates
To know how compatible you and your partner are, you may plan group dates. You can invite your friends or your partner’s friends and see how you both mingle with everyone. Some fun and some serious conversations may help you learn more about each other and tell you if you should take the relationship slowly or keep up the pace.
- Evaluate the relationship
Take some time away from your partner and try to evaluate your new relationship. Do you have the same vision or similar goals in life? Do you know about each other’s plans? Do you know each other’s family well? If the answer to these is ‘no,’ then spend more time to figure it out and then come to a conclusion about the relationship.
- Be practical
When in love, your thoughts may be clouded by the emotions you have for your partner. You may not be able to think practically when you should. And you may end up making the wrong decisions. It is essential to be practical and face fears instead of letting your emotions get the best of you. Ask yourself if you depend on your partner just for comfort or if you really love them. Take time and get some clarity on your relationship and decide.
You may fall in love in a jiffy, but you should not take serious life decisions in a few weeks or months after meeting someone. A healthy and romantic relationship should move at its natural pace. Taking things slow could help you keep your relationship balanced. You and your partner may want to keep things casual, have fun, and give time to grow. It is a sensible way to progress in your relationship.
What’s your take on moving forward in a relationship? Tell us about it in the comment section below.