20 Basic Relationship Rules That Strengthen Your Bond

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People often rush into a relationship without having clarity about what they want and what the partner is expecting. If you want to be in a fulfilling relationship, you may want to know the basic relationship rules. Unfortunately, most relationships fall apart after the initial excitement and cause despair to the couple. A relationship without a vision will take you nowhere. Hence, setting the right rules and following them without fail is imperative for a fruitful alliance. In this post, we discuss the basic rules that help you have a healthy and long-lasting relationship.

Relationship Rules Every Couple Must Follow

Whether you are just entering a relationship or have been in one for some time, rules help you take it to the next level. Follow the below rules and see the magic work:

1. Love with no conditions whatsoever:

Love cannot have conditions. It becomes all too materialistic when “only ifs” seep into your relationship.

You cannot have conditions like you can only love if your partner earns more than you, if he buys you gifts every month, if she looks beautiful always.

Love your partner as your parents love you – unconditional.

2. Your relationship is your priority:

Make your relationship your topmost priority. Invest time and effort in your relationship and constantly strive to make it better.

3. Keep your communication channel always open:

Without communication, you can drift apart in your relationship. Let your communication be open and honest. No matter how busy or tired you are, don’t let that block your communication.

4. Hug as often as you can:

Include it in your daily routine and make your hugs last longer. Hugging increases the oxytocin (the love hormone) levels and reduces cortisol ( the stress hormone) (1).

5. Have sex generously:

Don’t schedule sex, let it be impromptu. That’s when it becomes exciting and the intimacy between you grows. Don’t let any excuses come in your way when it comes to having sex.

6. Spend quality time together:

You need not necessarily go on a date night. You may also have a romantic dinner at home, just sit in the garden or balcony and rewind your memories or watch your favorite TV program together. The idea is to take a break from your busy schedules to stay close.

7. Be honest and truthful to build trust:

Trust develops on honesty and truthfulness. Occasional minor and harmless lies are permitted to keep your partner happy but cheating has no place in a relationship.

8. Criticize but don’t hurt:

If you want to criticize your partner to make them better, then the criticism should be constructive and positive. Help your partner understand the intention behind the criticism.

9. Have a healthy argument:

Arguments can be healthy as long as they are not constant and hurtful. You can agree to disagree peacefully. Make it a habit of listening actively and arguing less. That shows your respect for each other.

10. Stand by each other:

We hope tough times do not touch your lives, but it’s during these times you have to stand by your partner and prove your unflinching love for each other. That’s when your relationship strengthens.

11. Appreciate the good things in your partner:

No matter how simple or routine the task may be, appreciate your partner and thank them for everything. It shows that you respect and value them, both of which are important for a long-lasting relationship.

12. Take and give some personal space:

Proximity does not mean getting clingy with your partner. Give them their personal space, leave them alone for sometime in a day, and let them unwind the way they want. Similarly, make sure you are getting your share of me-time to pursue your career, hobbies or just relax.

13. Celebrate the special days:

Do not forget the important days in your relationship – the day you first met each other, your first date, the day your partner proposed to you, and of course your birthdays and wedding anniversary. Celebrate your togetherness and create cherishable memories.

14. Understand and empathize with your partner:

If your partner is having a bad temper on a day and shouts at you, control the temptation to answer them back in the same tone. They might have had a tough day at work or be feeling stressful. Understand their perspective, empathize with them, and when the time is apt, find out what is bothering them.

15. Forgive and forget:

Mistakes do happen. If your partner hurts you, forgive him/her and forget about it. It will encourage them to do the same when you make a mistake.

16. Show interest in your partner’s hobbies/ activities:

Does your partner follow a sport that you find boring? You don’t have to tell them that! Instead, try to understand the sport, ask your partner about it. Show interest and indulge in your partner’s interests. You will begin to appreciate them.

17. Ask what you want:

Don’t expect your partner to understand all your needs and wants. Telepathy will not work all the time. If you need something, just ask for it.

18. Accept the imperfections:

Nobody is perfect! Accept your partner with all their perfections and imperfections. Relationships are about being the right partner, not the perfect partner because perfect doesn’t exist.

19. Keep your promises:

That makes you trustworthy, reliable and increases your credibility.

20. Do the best and be the best you can:

All of us are vulnerable to criticism and fear – the fear of doing something wrong and being criticized for it. Give your best to your relationship irrespective of your partner’s reaction. It is only so much you can do; the way your partner reacts to it is not in your control.

Rules are not just about doing something right; they are also about not doing certain things.

Things you should not do in a relationship:

  • Discuss your past relationships and exes.
  • Take your partner for granted.
  • Go to bed angry.
  • Strive to be a perfect partner.
  • Try to fix or change the person.
  • Discuss your issues with friends or family.

It might sound clichéd, but relationships require effort, time, and love. Simply put, the more you nurture your relationship, the better it blooms.

Following certain relationship rules can help you strengthen your bond and make the relationship stand the test of time. There can be issues when there are no rules once the initial excitement of being in a relationship wanes. Spending quality time together, sharing responsibilities, prioritizing the partner, being honest and truthful, and loving each other without conditions are the basic factors that tighten your relationship. Giving personal space, appreciating each other, and good communication helps to avoid any issues in relationships and let each partner maintain their self-identity.

Have any more rules to add to our list? Share them in the comments section below.

 

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Dr. Carlos Juan Carmona-Goyena

(PhD (Counseling Psychology))
Dr. Carlos Juan Carmona-Goyena is a board licensed therapist in the USA and Puerto Rico with a specialty in couples, families, and relationships. Dr. Carlos possesses a PhD in Counseling Psychology granted at the Interamerican University of Puerto Rico. His two-decade professional experience also includes scientific research in family emotional and relational processes and its effect on psychological functioning. Dr.... more

Kalpana M

Kalpana Nadimpalli graduated in English Literature and Psychology. Her fascination for the corporate world made her do a Masters in Business Administration. Being a mother of two boys, she could naturally fit into the shoes of a writer at MomJunction. She wrote articles on new parenting and relationships. Previously, Kalpana worked as a product information specialist and technical writer. During her... more

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