What Is A Serial Dater And How To Spot One?

What Is A Serial Dater And How To Spot One

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You will often find different types of people in the dating world. And they can be categorized based on their intentions when looking for a partner. Do they want a purely physical relationship? Are they looking for a long-term companion? Or are they testing the waters because they aren’t sure what they want? These are the most common intentions of people in the dating pool. However, there is another category of daters, called ‘serial daters.’

While casual daters don’t want a serious relationship and monogamists wish to have a long-term partner, a serial dater wants neither of these. A serial dater enjoys the wooing experience and makes the other person develop feelings. Once the “chase” ends, their excitement disappears, and they end the relationship in the early stages to move on to their next partner.

Keep reading this post to know the signs of a serial dater so that you catch them when you come across them.

17 Signs Of A Serial Dater

Serial daters are not hard to distinguish as they often behave differently and have unique personality traits. They may do or say certain things that indicate their intentions. If you observe them and look out for the signs, you can identify and respond accordingly before things go out of control.

1. They’re fans of big gestures

While romantic gestures show affection in the dating game, a serial dater will use these often and early on in a relationship. Their primary goal is to wow you so that you fall for them quickly. It seems evident if these gestures come for no reason and too soon in a relationship. If your date goes overboard with these gestures too often, there is a good chance of them being a serial dater.

2. They use the victim card

Serial daters have a habit of portraying themselves as victims to gain your sympathy. They may always blame their ex for falling apart and tell you they were in an abusive or toxic relationship. They might go to any length to make it seem like they still have emotional wounds left by their ex.

3. They like fostering insecurity

Serial daters do not commit to a relationship. They always keep their options open. If you find your date casually flirting or bonding with other people even when dating you, they might belong to the category of serial daters. They may feel vulnerable and insecure when you question them.

Also, a serial dater yearns for attention, and so they might make you feel jealous.

4. They like long, romantic dates

Serial daters have a repertoire of “moves” that they use when dating. To achieve and execute these, they make the dates longer. For instance, an evening drive during pleasant weather can turn into a movie and a fancy dinner date. They might even bask in your adoration so that you notice their effort and fall for them shortly.

5. They like to keep things casual

Casual dating isn’t wrong unless it seems forced. If you wish to progress organically in a relationship and your partner keeps it casual, it can be a massive red flag. Serial daters don’t want a relationship to evolve for various reasons.

6. They seek attention

The driving factor for a serial dater is to gain attention from multiple people in a short time. They could say they are depressed or low. It could even take the form of excuses such as “I’ve been having a hard time at work” or “My family member has a serious illness.”

The reasons may not always be false, but if they always try to grab your attention, they can likely be a serial dater.

7. They show you have made a big impact on their lives

Making a profound impact on someone’s life is a gratifying feeling. A serial dater knows the trick and will thus incorporate it into the playbook to win your affection. They might say, “You have changed me into being a better person,” “I was lost before we met,” or “I used to have low self-esteem till you entered my life.”

Changes do not happen overnight and take time and commitment. If your date shares such emotions too soon, it’s something to be cautious of.

8. They seem unusually interested in your friends

It’s considered polite when your date shares a good bond with your friends. But when they are extra nice to the attractive or single ones, it can signify them as serial daters. While they may not overtly flirt in front of you, there could be a few gestures that you may not find suitable. Keep an eye out if your partner is polite or considerate to your attractive friends as it is a sign of a serial dater.

9. They make the relationship stagnant

You’ve been dating for a few weeks now, and the relationship hasn’t progressed. After several dates and meetings, you still don’t connect with them on a deeper level. You can sense that your date avoids serious conversations regarding developments in the relationship.

A serial dater keeps the relationship casual so that it becomes easy for them to move on. If you find that your relationship doesn’t seem to be heading anywhere, it’s time you notice the red flag.

10. They don’t want to discuss their past relationship

Heartbreak is a complex emotion, and everyone processes it differently. Some may choose not to talk about their ex at all as the memories are too painful. That’s okay. But, if you find your date hiding details or lying about the last relationship, you should pay attention to it.

Serial daters don’t want their current partner to know how many people they have dated. They prefer to have anonymity in their dating life and pretend to be committed and sincere without any baggage from old relationships.

11. They’re ready to get physically intimate

For a serial dater, physical contact is a way to accelerate courtship and drive the relationship faster. They would take any chance to get physical with you early in the relationship. If they try to push you even when you are hesitant, there is a chance you’re with a serial dater.

12. They seem to have dated a lot of mutual friends

It’s not uncommon to date friends of friends. Also, it is even possible to date someone a friend recommends as they can vouch for their character and intentions. But it might not be a coincidence that your date has dated a handful of your mutual friends.

Serial daters try to date inside a friend circle to gain trust quickly and break things off amicably before it gets serious. Also, it becomes easy for them to find the next target.

13. They get bored quite soon

During the first few dates, the sparks fly. After a while, the feelings wear off, and you become comfortable around each other even without the grand gestures.

But a serial dater doesn’t like this part of the relationship when not much is happening. If you find them bored after a couple of dates, they’re likely planning the end.

14. They rush into the relationship

Serial daters are all about the rush of dating and don’t enjoy being in a relationship. They will not invest much time and effort into texting or chatting as they want to shower their magic on dates. They become the most charming and lovable selves for you to get closer to you in a short time frame.

15. They often tend to be fresh out of a breakup

It’s okay for your date to have dated others before you and for you to have done the same. What is odd, however, is if your date has rarely been in a relationship or has spent much time single. If you sense that your partner is constantly bouncing between relationships and ending them soon, it can indicate they are a serial dater.

16. They avoid a long-term serious relationship

Many people have never been in a serious relationship, and that’s not a bad thing at all. It can be circumstantial, or perhaps they haven’t found the right partner yet.

The only red flag here is if they are always the ones to start and end the relationship, and they do it often or constantly. If your partner has constantly been in and out of relationships, it signifies they don’t want a long-term relationship.

17. You hear contradictory things about your date

While your date seems to be the perfect partner for you, spoiling you with gifts and compliments and making you laugh, your friends could have a different opinion. If your friends are surprised by your date’s behavior and have a contradictory view, you should pay heed to them. Try to test the person by taking your friend’s angle as a word of caution.

In case you identify your date as a serial dater, take every step carefully. Don’t make decisions in haste either by breaking up suddenly or trying to talk to them. You can take the help of your friends or family members to come out the situation. Think and decide based on your relationship expectations and partner preferences.