12 Signs She Is Testing You And Ways To Win Her Over

Your date might suddenly start acting strange. You might wonder if these are the signs she is testing you or you did something wrong. For example, she plans to meet and then cancels without reason. She asks you questions, and the next moment becomes silent and refuses to talk. She might put you in tough spots and observe your reaction. You could be confused with her sudden changes in behavior. If you do not behave the way she wants you to, she might question you or respond unusually. While others may tell you she is playing mind games, you need to understand her concerns. Perhaps, she is testing you and trying to be more sure of certain parameters before committing to you for a long-term relationship. Keep reading as we tell more about this.

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12 Signs She Is Testing You

Consider her tests normal and stay focused to pass them and win her. Here are some signs that tell she is testing you.

1. She plays hard to get

She plays hard to test you

Image: Shutterstock

If she wants to see how serious you are about her and to what extent you will go to be with her, she might be hoping for you to make all the moves. She knows that someone who is fooling around will give up quickly, but the guy who genuinely loves her will stick around to earn her affection.

protip_icon Do remember
Don’t mistake her reluctance and stalk her, hoping she will eventually give in. If she shows zero interest, then back off.

2. She wants to know how much you care for her

She wants to be taken care of and pampered when she is sick. When she tells you she is unwell, she wants you to check on her by calling or texting frequently. When you do, she will know you are concerned and want to take care of her.

Tesia Blake, a blogger who writes on dating and relationships, opines that women test their partners consciously or unconsciously to see if they possess traits they value the most. “All I know is I have noticed myself unconsciously doing it. Immediately after I explained the concept of testing to my boyfriend, I noticed that not only was I testing him a lot, but also that many of my actions could be perceived as tests, but weren’t. Me trying to reach for something on the top shelf when he was around was obviously a test; getting lost as I drove both of us to a restaurant could be seen as a test (of his patience), but it absolutely wasn’t (i).”

3. She mentions one thing repeatedly

Of late, you have been hearing her mention how badly she wants to watch a particular movie or try the food at a new restaurant. You know she can do it alone anytime, but if she repeatedly mentions it, she probably wants to see if you are listening and paying attention to her. She wants you to suggest one of these wishes of hers, to show you care and to make her happy.

4. She takes you to a place where there are many women

Remember her eyes are on you

Image: Shutterstock

If you ever find yourself with her in a pub or hangout place with many attractive ladies, do not give in to the temptation of checking them out. It could be difficult but remember her eyes are on you, and she will instantly notice when your eye contact darts toward other women. Some women will watch for this during the initial stages of courtship to ensure they are not dating a man that displays possible disloyal behaviors.

5. She cancels or postpones plans

There may come a time when she will cancel a date for no reason or suggest postponing a lunch or dinner. She wants to know what amount of effort you would put in to go on a date with her. A guy who is serious about her will try at least a couple of times to take her on a date. The one who gives up or forgets about her may not be ‘the one’ for her. However, if she cancels more than twice, get the hint that she is not interested in you.

6. She shows interest in knowing your past relationships

Your past relationships can tell her a lot about you. If she asks you about your exes, say good things about them without blurting out every detail. Show her you are mature enough to move on with good feelings in your heart. And do not talk badly about your exes; it shows your lack of respect for women and relationships.

7. She introduces you to her friends

Signs she is testing you

Image: Shutterstock

Perhaps she fears that her love for you might blind her to the extent where she overlooks your flaws. She might look for others’ opinions by introducing you to her friends. This ‘expert panel’ of hers will give her feedback on whether or not they see you as the best match for her. When she takes you to meet her friends, remember to be on your best behavior – these opinions are often taken quite seriously.

8. She shares little details about herself

You may find it unusual when she tells you how her pet dog accidentally pooped on her, or her first favorite color was yellow, but now she likes red. She might say such things to check if you pay attention to what she says. If she matters to you, you will remember little things about her. And if not, it’s loud and clear that you are not listening to her, which will feel like you do not care enough for her.

protip_icon Quick tip
Some women are particular about you remembering their likes and dislikes. Make an effort to remember minute details, as these small gestures matter a lot.

9. She seeks your help

When she asks you for help, she wants to know if she can rely on you. Women like to be with someone who makes them feel safe and protected. If she calls you late at night to fix her computer, help her and let her know you will be there for her whenever she needs you. However, none of us should be at someone’s beck and call. Learn to gauge when she needs you and when she will be okay independently.

10. She deliberately pushes your limits

She deliberately pushes your limits

Image: Shutterstock

You may feel like she is unreasonable and testing your patience at times. She is looking to understand how you react under pressure and to what extent you can control yourself. If you are in the initial dating period, she might need to understand your worst possible reaction.

11. She wants to know your plans for the future

When a woman asks you about your plans, goals, and ambitions, she is probably considering you for the long run. She wants to know what she can expect from you in a relationship and if you are a suitable person who can offer her a solid relationship of companionship and security.

12. She avoids getting intimate with you

Signs she is testing you

Image: Shutterstock

She probably likes you as much as you like her, but that does not mean she will immediately have a sexual relationship with you. By waiting, she will feel more comfortable about your real intentions. A man who wants to date only for physical intimacy will get impatient, but a guy who truly has loving feelings for her will wait till she feels comfortable enough to be intimate with him. When she willingly sleeps with you, it means she is positive about who you are and wants to move into a closer physical relationship.

What Does It Mean When A Girl Is Testing You?

When a girl is testing you, it typically means she is assessing your reactions, behavior, or qualities to gain insights into your character, intentions, or compatibility. The reasons for testing can vary; it might be a way for her to gauge your confidence, sense of humor, emotional intelligence, or sincerity. It’s crucial to approach these situations with authenticity and honesty, as trying to manipulate or deceive in response to tests is not advised. Clear communication and genuine behavior are key to navigating these tests and building a foundation of trust in any relationship.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How can I tell if she’s ignoring my texts?

It could be evident if she is ignoring your texts. The ignoring could start with a few delayed replies followed by none. You might see her online and that she has seen your messages. However, there are chances that her ignorance is unintentional. Give her a few days and try to ask her directly. If she is still unresponsive, avoid initiating further conversations and try to accept the truth.

2. Is she testing me by pulling away?

She may or may not be testing you by pulling away. Some women may check if you are genuinely interested in them. They would want to see your dedication and will to be with her by pulling away from you.

3. Why would a woman test a man?

A woman could test a man to know if he possesses the traits she values the most. She would like to know if you are ready to invest your time, patience, and energy in a relationship with her. It could also be a way to check if you would abandon her.

Sometimes your girlfriend could make things difficult and put you in a tricky situation. She may suddenly cancel plans, make you impatient, dig into your past, or constantly text you. Though it can be tough to understand her behavior, these could be signs she is testing you. It is important not to feel enraged or offended as a woman may test only the man she likes and wants in her life. Watch out for the clues mentioned above, answer her queries sincerely, be patient and you might pass these tests and her examination with flying colors and prove you are the one for her.

Infographic: How To Know If She’s Testing You Through Texts?

You met a girl and hit it off on a perfect note. But now her replies and texts are confusing, and you can’t figure out if she doesn’t like you or is testing you to know your true feelings and commitment towards her. Don’t worry; we got you! Explore the subtle signs of a girl testing you through texting.

signs of a girl testing you through texting (infographic)

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Key Pointers

  • At times, your date may try to test how much you care for her.
  • She may put your loyalty, patience, and attentiveness to the test.
  • She may deliberately push your limits or avoid physical intimacy. • However, these tests are indicators that she is interested in a long-term relationship and is waiting to be won over.
signs she is testing you_illustration

Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team


Are you ready to learn some sneaky ways girls test your confidence? Let’s find out how to stay confident and pass the test!

Personal Experience: Source

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