'Should I Call My Ex'? 13 Reasons Not To Contact Them

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Breakups are hard, and they leave you feeling shattered and all over the place. Just when you think you are getting your life together, you see your ex on your social media or at a coffee shop and one thought keeps on lurking in your mind, “Should I call my ex?”

After a gut-wrenching breakup, it is normal to miss them. No matter how much you convince yourself that they broke your heart, you may find yourself dialing their number and regretting it. If you are looking for reasons not to contact your ex, reading this post can be helpful.

Should I Call My Ex?

One of the main reasons why you might feel like calling your ex is to check whether they are missing you or not. Even if they are, they might not express it right away. Do not be fooled into thinking that they will melt and ask you to come back into their lives. If they have not initiated contact from their side, you should not either. If they broke up with you, they most likely have moved on, and you should too.

You can only contact your ex if you have unfinished business with them (loans, mortgage, or other important stuff). Even if they have not called you yet, take the initiative and call them since it concerns both of you equally.

13 Reasons Not To Contact Your Ex

If you have broken up with someone, you might have come across the “no-contact” rule. It’s the most effective way to get over an ex.

You will end up regretting it.

Breakups are hard because they leave you with a feeling of dejection. You feel that if you talk, you might turn things in your favour. But instead of what you envisioned, chances are they might not want you back. So, do not make the call that can leave you regretting it.

You cannot change them.

You feel despondent, disheartened, and upset. So, when you feel like contacting your ex, it is your emotional self that makes the decisions for you. Calling them to take you back is not the answer. If they broke up with you, then you calling them is not going to change their mind.

You don’t want to be just “friends” with them.

After a breakup, many people stay in touch with their ex-lovers and maintain being friends over time. However, not everyone can be like that. If you think being around your ex can bring back painful memories of your breakup, then you do not have to be friends with them. You are allowed to move on at your pace.

You need to stop and think about what you are doing.

Do you care for them as good friends? Do you think that your actions will make them think breaking up with you was a mistake? You are mistaken. Thinking all these will put you in emotional turmoil only to hurt you again.

You will end up embarrassing yourself.

Let’s say you have mustered up all the courage to make that dreaded call. But what happens next? They might not want to hear from you and ignore you. Will you end up leaving a text message then? They might not even reply. The best thing to do is take some time off your phone and keep it away. To escape from that embarrassment, hold on to your sudden urges to call your ex.

You are trying to revive something that died.

If your ex broke up with you, it means their feelings for you have died. Seeing you or hearing your voice is not going to sprout new feelings for you. Trying to revive a dead relationship is only going to be futile. Don’t expect to get all emotional and hurt yourself.

You should stop paying heed to what your ex might be doing.

You came across a post that suggested your ex might be dating someone. It’s time that you stop worrying about your ex and move on. Moving on might seem hard, but focusing on yourself and surrounding yourself with your friends will help you take your mind off things that might be bugging you. If they are not in your life, they are not your problem anymore to deal with.

You and your ex could not work things out.

When you are hurt, it is common to miss your ex and remember the good things. But the reality is the relationship did not work out, maybe because you were not compatible. Now you cannot change it by contacting them, so move on.

You should not be impulsive.

Impulsive decisions are good once in a while, but calling your ex asking them to come back is a big no. You might feel weak momentarily, but do not give in just yet. If they want you back, they will initiate contact with you.

You deserve someone better.

A breakup can be chaotic because it hurts. No relationship is perfect, but there is someone who will love you unconditionally and won’t give up on you easily. So, don’t call your ex, and wait for a better partner.

You might be feeling lonely.

If you have locked yourself up in your room, with a box of tissues and chocolates only to cry and watch rom-coms—you are doing it wrong. You are allowed to grieve, but not for long. You will end up feeling lonely.

You need to let go.

Healing can take time. Focusing on yourself and loving yourself is crucial. Remember why you and your ex broke up in the first place. Try to become a better version of yourself by doing the things that make you happy. Sulking about a failed relationship will not help you. It’s important to let go of things, delete your ex’s number from your phone, and refrain from calling them.

Before doing anything reckless or impulsive, you must think things through. Calling your ex will only make you feel lonely and hurt your feelings again. Hold on to your negative thoughts and try to move on. And soon, you may find a better partner.

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Akshay Nair

Akshay is an associate editor and former journalist with over three years of experience. A post graduate in Mass Communication and Journalism, he has strong professional and academic background in the field of content writing and editing. Akshay interned and worked with various newspapers and the Public Relations Department of the University of Calicut. At MomJunction, he ensures the articles... more