21 Clear Signs He Doesn’t Want To Marry You

Marriage is a massive commitment, and there needs to be complete understanding between the partners before they commit to it. But are you noticing signs he does not want to marry you? You might be ready to commit to him for eternity, but he seems unsure. Falling in love with a person is comparatively easier than staying in love with them for the rest of their lives. Marriage is such a commitment that it needs several discussions, judgments, and considerations, before making the final wedding plans. However, if you notice your partner trying to avoid the topic of marriage or getting irritated as and whenever you bring it up, it might be a sign that he is not ready for the commitment yet. Read on to know about the common signs that show that he does not want to marry you.

In This Article

21 Signs He Doesn’t Want To Marry You

Check for these signs that often indicate that he is not interested in marrying you.They will help you make the right decision.

1. He doesn’t believe in marriage

Does he say marriage is not his cup of tea or that it’s a formality to keep two people tied to a relationship? If yes, it shows his disbelief in marriage. He might be in love with you but does not see marriage as a necessary way to be bonded together, or to live together.

2. He doesn’t discuss marriage plans

Doesn’t discuss marriage plans, signs he doesn't want to marry

Image: IStock

He is a master of avoidance and aloofness, he easily brushes the topic aside and explains he has a different opinion. Also, his responses are not serious, and shows his disinterest. He never brings the topic up on his own, and he is definitely not wanting to be married.

A boyfriend with least interest in marriage will never bring the topic up for discussion. He is full of hesitation and apathy when it comes to the topic of marriage and is more interested in flirty talks and fulfilling desires. So, stay alert and look for possible signs he doesn’t want to marry you.

3. He doesn’t introduce you to his family

When you are madly in love, you want to tell everyone about it. If you have never been introduced to any of his family members or invited you to any family occasions, he is uninterested and not ready to consider marriage.

4. He is not interested in your family and friends

Not interested in friends, a sign he doesn't want to marry

Image: IStock

If your partner doesn’t express interest in meeting your family, he perhaps doesn’t have marriage plans. If he never expressed an interest in meeting your family or getting to know your close friends, he has a disinclination toward marriage.

5. He keeps giving excuses

Baby, we still have time.” “Let’s give each other some more time, and we will marry next year.” A disinterested boyfriend may never postpone his outing with friends or family celebrations, but whenever the marriage topic arises, he prefers uninvolvement and always has excuses.

The different excuses he uses to justify himself certainly suggest he’s not going to ask you to marry him. A guy interested in marriage will make the most of the present time and plan for your future together.

Sharing a similar experience, Justine Mfulama, a dating and relationship coach, says, “What I had to hear repeatedly in my last relationship is that he doesn’t want to get married or with a little twist, he doesn’t feel ready to get married.” Based on this, she advises to listen the first time they express disinterest in marriage instead of trying to reason with it and take the necessary steps (i).

6. He never shares his emotional space

Every strong relationship revolves around some common ingredients—trust, loyalty, understanding, love, care, romance, surprises, and family. If he never shares his emotional feelings with you, he doesn’t want you to be a part of his emotional space. Irrespective of the reason, it reflects a lack of commitment with you. Mutual trust is important for maintaining a long relationship. Remember, if he wishes for a never-ending relationship with you, he will want to give you his time and want you to hear all that is in his heart.

7. He doesn’t consider your priorities

 He is emotionally unavailable, disinterested in marrying

Image: IStock

Are your future goals, dreams, plans, and aspirations important to him? A serious boyfriend will look ahead to help make your life prosperous and happy. But if he keeps himself his ownly priority, and doesn’t share any future plans, he may not be having serious feelings for you.

Don’t feel surprised if you find out you’re not thought about in any of his plans.

8. He suddenly stops taking you for outings

Every couple goes on dates and meets alone to spend quality time together. Dates help a couple discuss personal things going on in each other’s life. Many sweet memories of togetherness are created when you go on a date. Right from the beginning of your relationship, he must have taken you on dates.

But, if he suddenly stops seeing you, it means he’s creating distance. Not going on dates is a clear sign that he’s slowly bacing away from you.

9. He’s nervous in making decisions

Some men find decision-making difficult. Be it about going on a date or planning to travel, does he seem confused? It’s natural if he is nervous at the beginning of the relationship. However, if you find him confused or hesitating, even after the two of you have been together for years, he may be questioning his confidence about marrying you.

10. He is insecure

He is insecure, doesn't want to marry

Image: IStock

Do you often have to please him and prove to him that you are loyal? Insecurity is not a part of a healthy relationship. If your relationship requires you to beg for commitments, it shows you are not an important part of his life.

11. He uses you like an option

Does your boyfriend keep demanding from you and doesn’t care about your emotional feelings? If he only thinks about his needs and not about yours, he may not have plans to marry you. Becoming an option is not a good idea and keeping up hopes that he will marry you one day is not healthy.

12. He has conflicted thoughts about marriage

If your guy gets upset when discussing marriage plans or quickly diverts from the topic, it’s a possible sign that he’s not interested in marriage. He might have already made up his mind not to marry you. Maybe he is going through conflicted thoughts—whether to hang on to you or let you go. Discussing marriage makes him defensive and uncomfortable.

13. He creates a distance

Silent behavior, unresponsiveness or keeping a distance from you is a strong sign of disinterest in you. He most likely has already made his mind up, and so he ignores you.

14. He doesn’t consider you important anymore

A true lover keeps his love as his top priority. If he stops making you important in his life and makes excuses whenever you need him the most, chances are he has moved forward in his mind, and he doesn’t deserve you.

15. He brings up his ex

If your boyfriend often talks about his ex-girlfriend or blames her for becoming uncaring and silent, it could be a reason to stay away and move on from thinking about marriage. A guy who doesn’t want to leave the past behind, even after your constant efforts may not have you in his future plans.

16. He doesn’t talk about the future

After falling in love, there’s so much a couple discusses—their future, honeymoon, wedding plans, children, old age, family, vacations, and more. If he’s serious, he will confidently discuss each and every topic. But, if he feels frustrated when you talk about them, it shows he’s not ready to marry you.

17. He doesn’t leave his bad habits

He doesn’t leave bad habits, signs he has no interest in marriage

Image: IStock

Excessive smoking and drinking are not healthy, and if he doesn’t try to work on these behaviors, even after understanding your desires about them, it shows he doesn’t care about you. The addiction is more important to him, and he’ll have myriad excuses that clearly show he is not serious about planning a future with you.

18. He agrees, but never confirms the wedding date

A loving boyfriend would be excited about planning the wedding date and all that goes with it. Also, he would involve his family and friends in the plans. If he just can’t seem to confirm the date, he’s changing his mind about marrying you.

19. He shuts you down

He will not talk about his internal conflicts and family problems if he’s not serious about you. People in love share each other’s thoughts and emotional feelings. But if he disregards this and shuts you down, it reflects that he doesn’t consider you a life partner and has no intentions of marrying you.

20. He hides you on social media

A man who sees a future with you will introduce you to his social media people, even if he isn’t typically active on these platforms. This gesture means that you are an integral part of his life. However, if he doesn’t post the moments with you on social media, it could mean he doesn’t view you as a potential partner.

21. He fails to support your career goals

Marriage is often seen as a partnership where both individuals support and complement each other’s ambitions. You might bring about your future plans or career goals, but he appears indifferent. His lack of concern suggests he doesn’t see you as a long-term partner.

What To Do If He’s Not Interested In Marrying You?

Some men feel shy to execute the marriage plans. In such a case, take the initiative and persuade him to marry you. Even if he’s interested, he may feel hesitant. You can help him by resolving his apprehensions about marriage and give him time.

If your heart says he’s your true love, give him time. Try to share positive aspects of married life, and maybe his disbelief about marriage might change. He may get serious about committing, taking vows, and walking down the aisle.

On the other hand, if you notice the majority of the signs mentioned above, he has no interest in having a future with you, and you may have to take an unplanned step.

Do not lose hope. If he rejects you for marriage, do not keep going behind him. Let him go and wait for the right person to arrive in your life. Marriage is a sacred commitment, so make a decision only when you are confident about the person.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What do guys look for in a woman they want to marry?

Every man or woman will have their preferences of what they want in their partner. If his physical or emotional criteria are not met, or some other factor hops in, those are signs he doesn’t want to marry you.

2. How long should I be with someone before getting married?

Waiting for a while before getting married, like three years and more, can reduce the chances of divorce. Not hurrying into a relationship and giving some time to get to know your partner can make the marriage healthy and prosperous.

3. Can a man be in a long-term relationship without any intention of getting married?

Everyone has their own perspective on marriage. For example, if your boyfriend doesn’t support or feel the need for marriage, he might intend to stay in a relationship for several years without getting married.

4. How can you tell if your partner prioritizes other things over marriage?

If your partner always has time for his work or friends but never has time for you and your desires, it means he is prioritizing other things over you. This could indicate that he has other priorities over marriage and hopes to keep this relationship running while attending to his priorities.

5. Are there any red flags to watch out for in a relationship when it comes to marriage?

Lying, jealousy, unwillingness to compromise, lack of communication, controlling tendencies, disrespect, and abusive behaviors are some red flags you need to look out for in a relationship when contemplating marriage.

6. How long does it take for a man to decide he wants to marry me?

Every person is unique. Some men choose to get married quickly, within a few days, while others may take anywhere between a few months to years or even longer. The time it takes to make this crucial life decision varies from person to person, and there is no fixed timeframe.

If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you may wonder when you will progress to the next stage of commitment: marriage. However, marriage requires the earnest commitment of two individuals, and reluctance from either one could cause issues. If your boyfriend shows most of the signs explained in this article, he may not be willing to invest his future in the relationship. Convey your feelings to him and note his replies. If it is certain he does not want to settle down, it might be time for you to rethink the state of this relationship. Since marriage is sacred, find yourself a man who values commitment as much as you do.

Infographic: Could You Be Unintentionally Pushing Him Away?

If he is insensitive and shows clear signs of no intention of marrying you, then walk away. But suppose he has been caring and loving throughout the relationship but hesitates to pop the question. In that case, you may take help from this infographic to understand if it’s something from your end that could be causing the issue.

these mistakes may be preventing your boyfriend from marrying you (infographic)

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Key Pointers

  • Deviating from marriage talks and denying meetings with your friends and family could be signs that he doesn’t want to marry you.
  • Look for more such prominent behaviors to help you decide the next step.
  • Get clarity on his intentions before taking any step that you may regret later.
signs he doesn t want to marry you_illustration

Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team

Are you worried he’ll never commit? Check out this video for 5 signs he won’t marry you! Get the answers you need to make the right decision.

Personal Experience: Source

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Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and family business consultant, who has earlier been a graduate instructor/advisor, an organizational learning consultant, and hospice volunteer. With around eight years of experience working in the private as well as corporate setting, Sharon helps her clients think creatively and build upon their strengths. Previously, she trained Russian psychiatrists in...read full bio