Every love story starts somewhere, but it’s not always love at first sight. Some partners in romantic, healthy, and long-term relationships often start as friends. The tricky part comes when it starts to evolve into something else.
If you’re lucky, this will be a mutual attraction, and you’ll both see the signs from each other very clearly. In most cases, though, one or the other person can be oblivious to how the relationship dynamic might be changing. Here are some signs that can help you discern if he sees you as more than a friend.
Signs He Likes You More Than A Friend
1. He is the one to start the conversation
Friendships are usually a give and take. Friends are very casual and comfortable when it comes to communication, so it usually flows both ways and starts from either party. One of the first signs that he sees you as more than a friend is if he initiates conversations. It could be that he visits you to hang out or calls or texts you often. Either way, it’s a telling sign when he is into you.
2. He treats you differently than others
This is something that could be intentional or unintentional from his end. But for whatever reason, you feel that he treats you differently than he treats his other friends. Maybe he’s generally more polite or friendlier to you. However, it could be fairly noticeable in a social setting with other people and, thus, it gives you a clue to his intentions.
3. He’s not flirting with anyone
If your friend isn’t flirting with people, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not looking for romance. It could mean he’s already found a potential romantic partner in you! This may not translate to him flirting with you, but if he’s mentally taken himself off the market and doesn’t flirt around, it’s a strong indicator he might have feelings for you.
4. He engages with you physically
This doesn’t outright mean he’s touchy or anything, but certain physical cues indicate he might be romantically interested in you. He might make it a point to hug you as a greeting or a goodbye, or he might pick a leaf or a strand of hair off your clothes. And if he holds your hand or brushes your hair out of your eyes, you can be certain that he has feelings for you.
5. He makes an effort to get to know you
While good friends are good listeners, too, a friend who is romantically interested in you will take it to the next level. They might want to hear about your ambitions, insecurities, likes, dislikes, etc. They won’t interrupt and might ask pertinent questions when you talk about your job, your day, or your family. They will remember your childhood stories and funny incidents. They will make a sincere effort to get to know you better, especially if they’ve recently come into your life.
6. He is one (if not the most) reliable friend you have
When you need help with something, a friend who sees you as more than a friend will always find a way to be there for you. Whether it is moving that heavy new appliance or assembling furniture, or a lift home, going the extra mile to show that they are dependable and reliable is one of the common signs to look out for.
7. He comes to you for advice
We all need advice from time to time, and there are usually plenty of people willing to give you their opinions. A strong indicator that he sees you as more than just a friend is if he takes your advice, in particular, more seriously than others’ (in some cases, even if it contradicts his other friends’ advice). If he values your advice and viewpoint on things, it’s a sign that he thinks highly of your judgment, which is a major attraction factor.
8. A lot of your hangouts are usually just the two of you
Whether it is by chance or design, you might find that a lot of the times you spend time together, just the two of you. Even when you have common friends or coworkers, you tend to end up meeting one on one. It means that he wants to spend time with just you or talk about things he usually wouldn’t be able to around others.
9. He knows you well, down to the smallest details
When a man notices and remembers the tiniest details about you, it’s a sign he’s extremely invested in you. Friends will remember obvious things, such as your birthday or whether you’re a vegetarian, but this friend will go one step further to pay attention to the smallest of things. Whether it is your favorite band/song, food allergies, fear of pets, or family dynamics, he knows it all! This is particularly significant if the person in question is someone who hasn’t known you for a long time.
10. He makes a lot of eye contact
While eye contact is considered common courtesy amongst most people, you may notice it more when you’re around a friend who might be interested in you. He will make and keep eye contact as you converse or as he’s listening, indicating he’s either really involved in the conversation or lost in your eyes. Either of the two is a strong sign he likes you.
11. He notices when something about you has changed
This can be true if the change in question is something very obvious, such as a new haircut or dress, but a friend who’s really interested in you will notice even the smallest things. Maybe he’ll pick up if your mood is off or if you’re doing something uncharacteristic, such as fidgeting. He might notice it when you use terms you usually don’t or when you act out of your usual pattern – certain things a lot of other friends might never pick up on.
12. He’s nervous around you
This could be due to several reasons, but if you find him fumbling his words or being extra cautious about his behavior around you, it likely means he has a romantic interest in you. Being nervous can be due to several reasons, but between friends, it usually means that he values your opinion of him and wants you to see him in a positive light. These telltale signs can be stammering or fidgeting but can also be more subtle, such as his choice of words or a change in his tone.
13. He puts in the effort to look good when meeting you
While this isn’t as easy or viable in situations where you meet every day, you will notice this when it’s just the two of you hanging out. If he’s putting more effort into his grooming or clothes, it could be a sign he’s conscious of his appearance and what you think of it, or he’s trying to impress you.
14. He compliments you often and sincerely
It’s considered polite to compliment someone when the situation is appropriate — a job well done, a good outfit, etc. But if you notice that your friend never misses an opportunity to compliment you on personal things, such as your taste in music, your cooking, and your sense of humor, and does so more often than your other friends, he’s likely interested in you.
15. He acts possessive
No friend has the right to control their other friend’s free time or who they decide to spend it with. But if you notice a particular friend is often possessive about you, it could indicate he has romantic feelings for you. These could manifest in him being glum or upset when you cancel plans with him to meet other friends (particularly other guys) or if you’ve been meeting another friend more often lately.
16. He posts about you a lot on social media
Friends post pictures of them hanging out on social media all the time. But if this particular friend mentions you a lot on his posts on social media or uploads pictures of you both frequently, he might be envisioning you both as a couple. It might also be a subtle message to others on your social media that he has a romantic interest in you. This is particularly true if he’s worried there is someone else who might make a move on you before he does.
17. He’s often the first and last person you text
One of the first things we often do when we wake up and before we go to bed is check our phones. If you find that your friend does the same in both situations, then there is a good chance you’re constantly on his mind, the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. This is not something platonic friends do and indicates he has romantic feelings towards you.
18. He confides in you
You may find that your friend confides things to you that are extremely personal or sensitive to him. These could include fears, trauma, secrets, hopes, and dreams. If you find yourself on the receiving end of this communication, it shows that he trusts you beyond what he would trust “just a friend” with and feels comfortable telling you these things. These indicate he has strong feelings for you, and not necessarily in a platonic way.
19. His family is polite to you
Family can be some of the key people we confide in. Whether it is a sibling or a parent, we all need someone we can talk to. If he hasn’t yet been able to tell his other friends or you about how he feels directly, chances are he’s confided in his family, especially if he’s got long-term intentions for your relationship. This will result in them treating you more like a family member and close friend, and you might notice this is more noticeable with you than your other common friends.
20. He avoids the dating question
Many people may ask your friend if he’s interested in someone or why he isn’t dating someone. While many factors come into play here, such as time, mental space, and finding the right partner, there could be another more obvious factor — you.
This is especially clear if his answers to these questions are all vague or deflecting. He may simply be trying to avoid admitting he’s waiting for something to click with, so he can eventually date you.
21. He tries to make you happy whenever you’re with him
One of the ways we try to woo someone we like is by making sure they have a great time around us. This makes one subconsciously and actively associate that person with a good time. If your friend is always keeping it fun and light, cracking jokes, smiling, and cheering you up around you, it’s a sign he has more than friendship in his mind.
22. He follows all your social media updates
In the digital age, an indication of romantic affection is to constantly keep track of what the person you’re interested in is doing. If you’re particularly active on social media, and you find him watching, liking, and commenting on your posts, usually soon after you post them, it can be another sign that you’re always on his mind even when you’re not around. Friends can do the same thing, but you’ll be able to tell from the frequency and time of his social media engagement whether this interest is platonic or something more.
23. He starts to pick up hobbies and interests that align with yours
If your friend suddenly develops interests in the same things you like, it is an obvious indicator that he likes you and sees you as more than a friend. A shared interest or hobby, such as music, activities, and cuisines, gives you more reason to hang out and more to talk about when you meet. After all, what better way to gain your affection than ordering your favorite cuisine while watching your favorite movie?
24. Other friends ask if anything is going on between you two
If you’re picking up on the above signs from him, it’s likely that your friends have noticed them as well. Your best/ close friends will likely outright ask you if something is going on between you both or ask you if he’s confessed any attraction towards you. While these are just expressions of curiosity and don’t mean anything by themselves, it does validate your suspicions that you aren’t the only one who thinks your friend is trying to be more than a friend of late.
25. He tells you in some form or the other
Different people have different approaches to this. He may use oblique statements such as “I wish I could find someone like you to date” or “I could never date someone who doesn’t have your qualities.” He may also just outright tell you he’d want to date you and that he feels strongly about you. How or if he tells you depends on the nature of your relationship and how open your friend is. Either way, at this point, there’s no second-guessing it, as you know for sure.
Some of the most intimate relationships start as friendships, and for a good reason. Starting as friends lets you see every side of each other, not just the polished personas we present to people we start dating right away. It gives you a chance to see each other at your best and your worst, and, often, when they’re vulnerable. If someone falls for a friend after seeing all these sides of them, it means they are interested in the person as a whole, not just what they would’ve seen if they met as romantic partners on a dating app.
People struggle with telling their friends their true feelings for a variety of reasons. It could be nervousness, fear of rejection, or the ultimate consequence — sabotaging your friendship if it doesn’t work out well. So it’s up to both parties in a friendship to read the signs and know when to acknowledge, encourage, or act on them.