Our extremely busy schedule can take a toll on several aspects of our lives — relationship being one of them. And in trying to balance work, life, and relationship, we might often slip up on one of these fronts.
While admiring someone else’s beauty or noticing other women is perfectly normal, there might be some things that worry you about your partner’s behavior. Some patterns that often occur in conjunction could indicate he’s either interested in or already secretly seeing someone. In this post, we tell you some telltale signs he’s seeing someone else.
21 Signs He’s Seeing Someone Else
1. He seems to have new commitments for no apparent reason
Your partner seems to be busy often and does things completely out of the blue. This not only cuts into the time he spends with you, but also seems to indicate he’s spending a lot of time outside. It matters if he tells you about what he is doing versus it being a secret.
2. He tries to avoid certain places for outings
A strong sign that your partner may be seeing someone else is when he avoids certain restaurants, concerts, or venues. This is more likely if the person he is seeing is unaware that your partner is not single and is being deceived. Watch out for behavior like this, especially if it seems to occur often and involves the same places.
3. Your outings have become boring
Wining and dining were frequent at the start of your relationship, but now your partner seems less inclined to put any effort into your dates. He insists on staying at home and relaxing with you more often instead of going out at all. This is not just an indication that he might be seeing someone else, but can be a consequence of him getting his social-outing quota fulfilled by others.
4. A certain female “friend” seems to be in his life more often
You may find that he’s meeting a female friend more often than usual, or they’re talking and texting often. This could come out of the blue if they haven’t been close for some time or have been out of touch. He may even insist on you both spending time together to deflect any suspicion.
5. He seems interested only in sex
Gone are the days of movie marathons or real dates, and it seems like sex is all he wants from you when you meet. This is not in itself an indication he’s seeing someone else. However, coupled with some other things such as doing it differently in bed or insisting you try different things can indicate that he has another partner.
6. He seems to be drifting further away
Your partner can seem distant for many reasons, including depression, job stress, and family issues. Still, if he’s actively trying to create distance in the relationship, it could mean he’s interested in someone else. A simple thing such as showing no excitement in something you both used to enjoy or saying he wants to “take things slow” can be an indicator of this.
7. He introduces you differently than he used to
A solid indicator that your partner is trying to decouple from you in the presence of the “other woman” is if he introduces you only by your name and avoids calling you his girlfriend openly. Other signs could be reluctance on his part to publicly display affection, such as holding hands, avoiding calling you “sweetheart” or “baby,” etc. Keep an eye out as these are most common when the object of his affection, aka the other woman, is actually present during these moments.
8. He avoids discussing your future as a couple
Some men are notorious for avoiding the where-is-this-relationship-going talk, and this behavior is further intensified when there is another woman in the picture. He will try to avoid or downplay conversations about taking the next step, getting serious, or generally anything that has to do with your future.
9. He doesn’t want you to mix with his social groups
While it can be perfectly natural to want to have separate friend groups and social lives outside of each other, it can often be a strong indication that he is hiding something.
When he is out with his group and doesn’t want you to come along, there’s a strong chance there are other women present, one or more who he may be interested in.
Similarly, he will hesitate to meet your friends and let them get to know him, fearing they might have spotted him with some other woman. Not wanting to socialize with your friends is another telltale sign that he is not serious about your relationship.
10. He’s only ever available on his time
We all lead busy lives, but sometimes, you might find that your partner is only ever interested in meeting you or spending time with you when he is free, and rarely when it’s convenient for you. This is usually because he’s devoting the majority of his free time to some other woman (like when you first started dating him). This leaves you with the leftovers of his free time, which may not necessarily align with your schedule.
11. He seems to notice other women more often than usual
We’re all human, and we appreciate attractive people. So this in itself isn’t reason enough for us to make assumptions. But you know your partner better than anyone. And if he seems to be appreciating attractive women more often than usual, then it could be a sign that he’s not attracted to you anymore.
12. He asks you to make changes in your life
If your partner asks you to make changes in your lifestyle, such as losing weight or dressing a certain way, odds are he’s attracted to women who do those things and want you to do them as well. This by itself doesn’t mean he’s seeing someone else, but taken in conjunction with the points mentioned above, it could well mean you have someone to worry about.
13. His schedule doesn’t make sense
Okay, so he’s got work, then the gym, and then maybe a drink with his friends. But what does he do with all the other hours of free time? If your partner is unwilling to discuss this or his answers seem vague or suspicious, you have every reason to be concerned. After all, he can’t be grocery shopping for an hour three times a week. And how many movies or games will he watch “with the boys” every weekend? You don’t need to know every detail of his schedule, but when these things don’t add up, you have every right to ask.
14. He seems to want to distance himself on social media
If your partner is either seeing someone else or trying to meet other people, he might want to avoid having “couple pictures” on social media. He will try to avoid having you in his profile picture and stories, avoid captions that allow labeling you both as a couple, or not have you on his social media altogether. He might be doing it with the clear intent of not wanting people to know he is in a committed relationship.
15. He suddenly develops new habits
If your partner suddenly has uncharacteristic new habits, such as going to the gym at a certain time more often or taking short trips on the weekends “with his friends” more regularly, it may be time to ask some questions. Chances are he’s not alone during these sudden newfound activities, and if he’s not willing to include you in these, it’s a further reason for suspicion.
Drastic changes in his schedule, such as staying late at work often or visiting “family” at odd times, are good indicators that he is hiding something from you.
16. His job is suddenly full of social gatherings
Unless you share a workplace with your partner, you’re unlikely to be invited to work lunches, corporate dinners, seminars, and expos. While these are perfectly normal in any professional’s career, if these seem to be happening more frequently and include work trips and corporate retreats out of town, you might consider questioning him.
17. He becomes defensive when asked about his day or schedule
Sometimes, you just want to talk about how your day went or why you couldn’t reach your partner for a few hours. This is perfectly natural. What isn’t normal though, is if he gives you evasive, vague answers to what he was up to or why he couldn’t answer your call or reply to your messages.
Here’s a little trick you can use to see if he is hiding something. Check if he gets defensive about why you’re even asking these questions or acts unusually agitated or aggressive when asked about these.
18. He’s still active on dating sites
While this may seem like an obvious red flag, men will often find a reason to justify this, especially if you both met via a dating app. You will hear excuses such as “Oh I thought I had deleted it” or “I forgot my password; I’ll delete it later” while his dating profile continues to be active.
Even if he is not actively seeing someone else, this is biggest red flag that he is willing to date someone else should they come along and is still in search mode.
19. You notice changes in your sex life
Your sex life can be affected by many different factors, such as stress, health, hormones, or just timing. But there are certain clues that stand out when it comes to the possibility of your partner having a sexual relationship with someone else. He may be less inclined to have sex or might be less energetic during sex. He might want to avoid it altogether at times or display other uncharacteristic behavior that indicates he might be getting his satisfaction elsewhere.
20. He goes on the offensive when questioned
Some people throw the allegations back at you when confronted. If you proactively confront your partner for being with someone else, and he reacts in outrage and accuses you of being unfaithful to him, then chances are you’re right. The false outrage is often a way to mask their shock or embarrassment at getting caught with someone else and their only natural reaction when they can’t lie their way out of a situation. This is especially true when you confront them with concrete evidence.
21. You often see him with someone else
While it’s perfectly natural for him to have a platonic friendship with another woman, if this often occurs alongside the previously listed points, odds are she is the person he is seeing. Being together in itself is not wrong, but if they seem to be touching, holding hands, etc., it’s a major red flag.
Infidelity is as old as relationships themselves, and they’re an almost inevitable byproduct of having choices. These days, infidelity is even harder to spot and track because so much of it happens online and doesn’t necessarily leave physical cues like perfumed letters or phone calls from an unlisted number. The rise of dating apps and the hookup culture leave attractive people spoilt for choice.
It doesn’t mean you should constantly suspect your partner of seeing someone else; after all, trust is the foundation of every solid relationship. But if you feel like something is off in your relationship, awareness is a powerful tool. Doubt and small actions of uncharacteristic behavior by themselves are in no way damning, so we encourage that you confirm your suspicions using the points listed above before confronting your partner.