If you are not happy in a relationship, it can be emotionally draining. You get into a relationship with a lot of expectations, but things in real life are not always a fairy tale. Real relationships have to overcome several challenges to sustain in the longer run. These challenges can wear you out, making the relationship burdensome. Have you been feeling the pressure of a rocky relationship? Are you unhappy in a relationship? If yes, then don’t worry yet, as there are many ways to save your relationship. Read on for signs of an unhappy relationship and find out ways to fix the problems.
10 Signs Of An Unhappy Relationship
There is a solution to every problem. So, first, let’s identify the signs of an aggrieved relationship.
1. You do not like being at home
No matter where you are, at the end of the day, the thought of returning home brings peace to mind. But if you feel the opposite, and if going home makes you feel anxious and sad, it means you are dissatisfied with the person you live with and your relationship.
2. You do not enjoy sex anymore
Physical intimacy is a way to show love for your partner. However, if sex hasn’t happened in a long time or if sex feels like a chore to you, it means the spark in your relationship is lost. You probably do not feel connected to your partner anymore, or your sex life is boring.
3. You feel lonely
Feeling lonely means suffering from alienation even when you are with someone. A relationship offers companionship to each other so as not to feel alone. But if your relationship makes you feel alone, it means something is wrong. Probably your partner seems aloof and disconnected, which makes you feel lonely in the relationship. An anonymous blogger from New Jersey shares the relationship experience during her pregnancy. Her partner made her feel alone, which made her realize she was not happy with him. Recalling the experience, she says, “Throughout my pregnancy I felt completely alone. I had a lot of complications with my pregnancy, and I would spend hours in the hospital by myself while he played sports, went out drinking, and acting like I didn’t exist. He would say he was working late, and come home smelling of alcohol. I found journals of his talking about how he didn’t want this child, and that he didn’t want to be with someone like me. It was an awful time (i).
4. You fight too often
Fights and disagreements are common between couples to show their frustration. However, an unhappy relationship is characterized by frequent arguments and fights. Disagreement between a couple causes frustration and resentment. This leads to fights over small issues as both partners look to vent their rancor by screaming at each other.
5. You do not trust your partner
A relationship cannot survive without trust. Your partner may have done something that must have broken your trust in the past. You may have forgiven them, but you are still quite suspicious of them. This makes you check their phone or question them all the time because you fear they might cheat you again. This broken trust can make you suffer from displeasure in your relationship.
6. You feel there is a lack of respect
Love fades with time but what keeps a relationship going is mutual respect. If you don’t get the due respect from your partner, your relationship can get unpleasant. From frequent abuses to mockery, your relationship is replete with disaffection that makes it difficult for you to stay together.
7. You miss being single
When you start fantasizing about being single or often recall your single days, it means something is wrong with your relationship. If you feel jealous of single people and constantly wish to be out of a relationship, it clearly shows your discontentment with a relationship.
8. You feel you are not yourself
The funny laughter that made your partner fall for you now seems annoying to them. Your lame jokes that your partner found endearing now feel embarrassing for them. Everything they once loved about you seems to annoy them, making you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. This is a typical indicator of disapproval that leads to an unhappy relationship.
9. You feel there is a lack of appreciation
When your partner goes out of their way and does something to make you happy, then you must acknowledge it and appreciate it. However, when there is no appreciation for efforts, you and your partner are bound to feel used which causes feelings of animosity. You are going to feel stuck in a job that does not need you.
10. You feel tempted to find happiness elsewhere
Temptations will be around you most of the time. But you not giving in to it is a sign of love and respect for your partner. However, if you feel like straying because your relationship does not give you any kind of happiness, you are clearly stuck in an unhappy relationship.
Even if there are many potential causes for an unhappy relationship, being in a relationship or love is still a significant contributor to happiness. The graph below, derived from a survey conducted by Harris Interactive, shows this correlation. According to the graph’s findings, 64% of Americans describe their romantic relationships as “very happy,” compared to 19% who were found to be unhappy in their romantic love life.
Degree of relationship happiness in AmericaSource: 64 Percent of Americans Say They\'re Happy In Their Relationships; eharmony/Harris Interactive
How To Fix An Unhappy Relationship
As mentioned above, many things can go wrong between two people in a relationship. Firstly, you need to figure out what is affecting your relationship without getting vexed. Once you find out things that plague your relationship, you know exactly where to put in your efforts.
1. Move on from the past
People change constantly. Falling astray in a relationship once does not mean it will surely happen again. Learn to trust each other. Be cautious but do not look at each other with antagonism. Also, avoid talking about unpleasant incidents from the past, especially if you have forgiven them for it. Reopening old wounds will only cause you more pain.
2. Communicate openly
Next time something bad about your partner bothers you, sit down with them and calmly tell them how it affects you. Ensure that your tone is not rude or condescending at any point. If your partner has something to say about flaws, then listen patiently and work upon them.
3. Be committed
Relationships need constant efforts to stand the test of time. If you love your partner and they love you too, but your relationship seems shaky, then it is time to commit yourself to work harder to make things work. Be more appreciative of each other’s efforts, be more supportive of each other’s ambition, and be more loving towards each other, instead of showing enmity or repugnance.
4. Be considerate of your partner
Dissatisfaction in a relationship often arises due to unfair comparison. If you feel unhappy because your relationship does not match the type of relationships social influencers project, then you need to quit this comparison right away. Constant comparison will only make you feel chagrined. Instead, appreciate all that your partner does and be supportive of their hard work.
5. Rekindle romance
Reigniting the spark of love can help strengthen a shaky relationship. If your sex life has been lackluster, then come up with creative ideas to make it interesting. Read online or buy a book that will help you with new ideas to spice up your sex life.
6. Be more adaptive
Compromises in a relationship can take you a long way. A little adjustment from you and your partner can make your relationship effortless.
7. Spend more time together
Perhaps you and your partner need to spend some quality time together and create new memories to put an end to wrath. Plan an adventure trip or join a hobby class or make a fitness plan together. Any activity will do as long as you do it together without any disagreement. Your active involvement in one another’s life can help bring you closer.
8. Give and take space
When the strife does not cease, it is better to spend some time away from each other to get a clear perspective. Being apart for some time can help you contemplate how your relationship has been going and what you can do to change things for the better.
9. Work on yourself
Perhaps your unhappiness stems from something within you and has nothing to do with your dissatisfactory relationship. Therefore, if you were stressed or overworked or depressed lately, then chances are you might be projecting that feeling onto your relationship. If that is the case, then seek help from a counselor and work on your ire as per their guidance.
10. Take responsibility
To err is humane. When you are in a committed relationship, you may have done something that hurt your partner. If you think you have done something wrong that affected your relationship, take full responsibility and tell your partner you won’t repeat the mistake. Put in genuine effort to rebuild trust rather than wasting time in self-loathing. Understand how your actions affected your partner and ask for a second chance. Not acknowledging your mistake or being defensive can make the situation worse. So, refrain from any attempt to justify your mistake. Additionally, if there is any misunderstanding, clear it through open communication.
11. Seek professional help
Instead of suffering silently in a bad relationship, seek advice from a relationship expert who can guide you to a solution against your grudges. Opting for couple’s therapy can also work wonders to mend your resentment.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Is it normal not to feel unhappy in a relationship?
It is perfectly normal to be unhappy in a relationship from time to time. Things may not always go well between you and your partner, and you may feel detached from the relationship. However, things may fall in place over time, and your relationship may reach new heights.
2. When should you give up on a relationship?
Every relationship goes through hardships once in a while. However, if you constantly feel alone even when you are together and miss your singlehood, it’s probably time you should consider giving up on the relationship. When you try fixing things and still feel unhappy, breaking up can be a wise option.
3. How do I end an unhappy relationship?
If you are not happy in a relationship and looking for ways to end it, first, you need to figure out what makes you unhappy. Then, discuss your issues with your partner, and seek professional help if necessary. If you cannot find a proper solution, end the relationship amicably. Avoid using crude language or blaming each other. The most important yet challenging part is ceasing communication with your partner.
4. Why do unhappy couples stay together?
There are several reasons why unhappy couples stay together. Some stay together for the sake of their children, due to financial problems, under pressure from family, religious beliefs, or the fear of losing their sense of identity. Additionally, some individuals may continue to stay together, hoping their relationship will eventually improve.
5. Can I love someone and still be unhappy?
Yes, you can love someone and still be unhappy. Love forms a strong bond between two individuals, but unhappiness can stem from different factors, such as unresolved conflicts, lack of communication, or emotional infidelity. It is necessary to understand that love alone cannot sustain a relationship.
An unhappy relationship may stem from issues such as lack of communication and external influences. Don’t give up or ignore the problem when you realize there is hostility or you are not happy in a relationship. Unsaid words and suppressed feelings can become the end of a beautiful bond. So think about what brought you together and your love for them, and try to iron out your differences. Keep the above tips in mind and be transparent about your feelings while trying to understand each other and working on improving the relationship.
Infographic: Is An Unhappy Relationship Worth Fixing?
Ending a relationship isn’t easy, and so is sustaining a relationship that makes you unhappy. So what should you do? You can call it quits or give your relationship a second chance. But before doing either, sit with a calm mind and ask yourself some questions. These questions will help you contemplate your feelings, thoughts, and desire, enabling you to make the best decisions for yourself and your partner.
- You choose to stay away from home or your partner and instead find happiness elsewhere.
- There is a lack of respect or appreciation in the relationship.
- You are not yourself around them, and you prefer being single.
Are you in an unhappy marriage? Watch this video to learn the top three signs of an unhappy marriage – painful but noteworthy.