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A long-lasting marriage needs a few ingredients to make them work like they’ve recently been made. The joy fizzles out a few years into the relationship and things seem to go haywire. But the truth is most marriages only need a bit of polishing to help them keep their luster.
In fact, marriages are mostly within your hands. As responsible adults, both partners must be willing to let go of various situations. But you also need to keep an eye on the levels of interest your spouse is showing in you.
Here are some signs that can very much mean that your partner is checking out of the marriage. So be tuned into these and know what to do:
1. He could be around you, but not really with you
He could be sitting with you, but spending time on his laptop, smartphone or television. His fingers could be working on sending out communications, chats, social media statuses more than his lips talking to you. This can be utterly ridiculous after a long day’s work at the office and then get hooked with electronic gadgets rather than unleashing oneself in the warmth of his spouse. But if your husband has not been following suit, then something’s wrong. Turn off the wi-fi as he arrives home. Prepare some tea to unwind. And you won’t realize how you could lead him in to talking to you first.
2. Their plans revolve more around friends than around you
Thinking of an outing? Yes, the long weekend is just around the corner, you are all excited, but soon your spirits are dampened when you hear that your husband has invited an entire town to accompany you on a holiday. Before this happens, convey to him that you have already marked the calendar so you can steal some time for just you two.
3. Daily greetings and pecks have become things of the past
When was the last time you had a good morning kiss? Or when was the last time that you had greeted each other on meeting after work? Make it a point that you greet him, if he doesn’t. No wonder the office load could be weighing him down, but part of the responsibility also lies on your shoulders to get him to greet you and ask how your day was.
4. He doesnât call you from work often now
The first few years had witnessed lunch-time calls, tea-time calls from work. But then, you could keep the texts flowing. Be funny. Tell him what your kid joked about once back from school, or how your pet was all over your children that evening, or that you were going to cook his favorite meal for dinner. Remember, communicating with each other during the day must be as big a ritual as eating food is.
5. He is hyper-critical about things
It could be your attitude, the things you love, or even your loved-ones. What once attracted him towards you might suddenly become boring or unimpressive. He might criticize you of your abilities, your skills, and petty things that shouldn’t matter much in a marriage by this time. But as if this wasn’t enough, you would also be on the receiving end of harsh stuff about your family and friends.
6. You donât go to bed together
This could be the worst sign. There is always an excuse – TV, pending tasks from office or laundry or whatever. Some partners find this infuriating but not let it become obvious at once. It also reflects an emotional turmoil. The vulnerability you showed towards each other, or the intoxicating intimacy simply dwindles out. You need to get to the grassroots level. Try to talk and see if there is anything bothering him. Talk to him about what’s making him avoid the closeness. It is likely that he might not open up for this instance, but what are marriage therapists there for! Simply book an appointment if your husband doesn’t budge.
Have you been through any of these? How did you deal with your husband? Write us back!
