18 Probable Signs Your Partner Wants To Leave You

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Suppose you are in a healthy relationship with your partner. However, suddenly, your spouse starts to behave differently, leaving you wondering if these are the signs your partner wants to leave you. They may start to be secretive, be grumpy and unhappy in your company, and even express their disinterest in you.

Your partner’s changed behaviors may cause you to experience hurt and anguish and tingle your intuition. Altogether, it is better to be aware of any red flags so you can prepare yourself for the worst.

If you are in such a situation and think your spouse wants to move out of the relationship, this post will help you recognize the signs that your partner wants to leave you. Reading them could help you understand the possible things going wrong in your relationship.

18 Signs Your Partner Wants To Leave You

The partner, who intends to leave, shows a combination of signs. These signs could indicate that your partner is considering leaving you. However, don’t come to conclusions until you are sure about it.

1. They avoid you

Do you think your partner is avoiding you? Say, they have been canceling the outing or dinner plans you make. They are trying to avoid late-night talks and prefer watching TV alone. They come home very late, sometimes not until after you may have gone to bed. These behavior changes could suggest that they are trying to stay away from you. If there is no reason behind the distancing behavior, like a recent fight, then it could be a red flag.

2. They don’t talk about the future or involve you in plans

Every couple makes certain plans, like buying a house, raising children, going on a trip, or creating a joint bank account. But in recent times, your partner doesn’t show any interest. Even when you try to pull them into such discussions, they evade.

In some cases, your partner makes plans with friends or family members but does not invite you. You only come to know later through common friends and relatives. If such episodes have become common lately, it could be a matter of concern.

3. They are not interested in physical intimacy

Declivity in your intimate life, signs your partner wants to leave you

Image: iStock

Intimacy keeps the relationship active and healthy. If you are experiencing a declivity in your intimate life, you should talk to your partner about it. It’s okay for a while. But if it goes on for a long while, then it could indicate that your partner wants to leave you.

4. They no longer express their love

Some people express their love by saying, ‘I love you’ several times a day. A few of them kiss or do something unique to make their partner feel special. You know what your partner does to express love. But if you think such instances are now missing from your life, then it could be a sign that your spouse is no longer interested in staying with you.

5. They act secretive

Your partner shuts down their laptop the moment you enter the room. They sneak out of the house when someone calls or sneak out when you are asleep. These kinds of secretive acts could seem unusual, and could be due to their intention to break up.

6. They spend time away from home

Your spouse is enjoying their friends’ company more than yours, or they are going early and coming late from the office. The time spent with you at home is decreasing with each passing day. Your partner is neither spending weekends nor family holidays with you. It could be a sign of a marital breakup.

7. They fight a lot

Your partner may pick up several fights over trivial matters.

Image: iStock

Quarreling is common in a relationship. But you both forget and get along with time as a healthy couple. However, of late, your partner is picking up several fights over trivial matters. They disagree with everything you say or do. If it’s not work pressure, financial crunch, or any other issue, it could be a sign they may want to leave you.

8. They constantly disapprove of you

Your partner once used to enjoy spending time with you. But things have changed now. When you sit together, they either get angry at you or look upset. They don’t seem to care how you are and where you are, or even bother to find out if and why you are upset. They don’t pay attention when you don’t come home or if you are crying. That shows their falling interest in the relationship and reflects their unhappiness with you.

9. They give you the silent treatment

Partners in a relationship argue, nag, taunt, scold, and fight. What they don’t do is stay silent. If your spouse is shutting you down entirely without validating their reasons, it could be troublesome. Sometimes, when situations change and things are unexpressed, it could be an alarming moment signifying a chasm in your relationship.

10. They talk about a break

They say they need a break from you or the relationship.

Image: iStock

After a big argument or a fight, your spouse may ask you for some space. That’s completely normal once or twice. But what if they frequently say ‘it’s enough,’ or ‘I need a break from you or this relationship.’ Doesn’t feel logical, right? It may be a sign that your marriage or relationship is falling apart.

11. They separate the financial accounts

Did you notice anything suspicious about your spouse’s financial activities? Creating a personal bank account is fine, but not informing anything and separating money from your joint bank accounts is fishy. If they don’t give you any reasoning, it could be a clue that they are no longer happy in the relationship.

12. They work on their appearance

Working out, dressing up, and bringing changes in a personality is not something to be worried about. But if all these changes are quite sudden and they don’t tell you what’s happening, then you may have to think about it. Such a transformation certainly raises suspicion.

13. They get defensive

When your partner gives you backhand comments for everything, the resentment is clearly visible. Teasing each other in a relationship with playful comments is normal. But holding anger and criticism in every line they speak is not acceptable in a healthy relationship.

14. They constantly use the phone

You find your spouse using the phone all day and night

Image: iStock

You find your spouse using the phone all day and night, sometimes smiling and then moving away from you. Either they want some distraction in life, or they are having an affair. If such a thing goes on for weeks and months, then it could be a red flag.

15. They disconnect you from social media

Lately, your spouse is trying to hide their stories and updates from you on their social media accounts. That may seem okay when you were teenagers or dating. But in a serious relationship, if something as such happens, it could be something to think about.

16. They threaten or joke about leaving you

When it’s on their lips, it could be in their mind. If they say things like, “maybe we’re bad for each other,” or “We wouldn’t have to deal with it if we were not together,” etc., in humor or when you are having a serious conversation, it could be a concern. You may have to pay attention to their words and behavior, and act accordingly.

17. They refuse to visit a counselor

They don't accompany you for counseling sessions.

Image: iStock

Your marriage or relationship seems to be breaking, and you want to fix it by seeking advice from a counselor. You want everything to be normal, but your partner pays no heed to it. They neither want to answer your questions nor accompany you for the counseling sessions. It clearly looks like they don’t want to mend the relationship.

18. They take bigger steps

Bigger steps here refer to cutting off communication and moving away from the house. You try your best to work on your relationship. You impress your partner, plan dates, buy gifts, and try to talk. But your partner is neither focusing on your efforts nor trying to explain their changed behavior. Occasionally the partner who wants to leave the relationship presents the signs, in such a way, to provoke a negative reaction from you, thus justifying the break-up. It clearly expresses that they want to break the relationship or marriage.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What to do when your partner is thinking of leaving you?

If your partner is thinking of leaving you, here are a few tips that can help you traverse through this challenging period:

  • Do not blame yourself for anything or everything that happened.
  • Avoid overthinking and getting nervous about the future.
  • Take care of yourself.
  • Refrain from making any major decisions during this period.
  • Stay away from self-harming and addictive habits.

2. What causes a man to leave a woman?

Possible reasons for a man to leave their significant other are:

  • Lack of physical and emotional intimacy
  • Lack of compatibility
  • He felt burdened with too much responsibility.
  • He developed feelings for someone else.
  • The relationship was toxic and draining.

3. What to do when your partner wants a break and you don’t?

  • Give yourself time to grieve.
  • Come to terms with the chances of your partner leaving.
  • Focus on yourself.
  • Reflect on your relationship and tey to find out what might have gone wrong.
  • Be optimistic about the future.

4. How do you know if a breakup is temporary or permanent?

Possible signs that the breakup is not permanent are as follows:

  • They invest a lot of time in you.
  • They call you up randomly.
  • They are not doing well in their life without you.
  • They meet you often.

Although you share a good relationship with your partner, some circumstances may change their behavior toward you. You may think this is a rough phase and will be sorted out in some time. However, your partner does not seem to express their feelings and remains unaffected by the changes. It may prompt you to start looking for signs your partner wants to leave you. Be observant and notice subtle signs of your partner avoiding you, not expressing love like before, or staying away from home. Noticing these signs may cause you to worry, but it is not right to reach any conclusion without analyzing. Talk to your partner about their changed behavior, understand their perspective, and then try to decide the future of your relationship.

Infographic: How To Approach Your Partner If They Want To Leave You?

Once you have checked these signs and they match your partner’s behavior, you need to decide the way forward. Go through the infographic below for suggestions to help you make a mature decision without jumping to conclusions.

tips For speaking to a partner who wants to leave you [infographic]
Illustration: MomJunction Design Team

Key Pointers

  • If your partner avoids you, refuses to show their love, or acts secretive, they may want to leave you.
  • They may begin to oppose anything you say and get defensive even on your playful comments.
  • Talk it out before you decide the next step for your relationship.

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Shikha Thakur

Shikha is a writer-turned-associate editor at MomJunction. Having done a certification in Relationship Coaching, her core interest lies in writing articles that guide couples through their courtship to marriage and parenthood. She also specializes in baby names. Being a postgraduate in Human Resources from Jawaharlal Nehru Technological University, she likes understanding people and their relationships. This reflects in her relationship...
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Dr. Carlos Juan Carmona-Goyena

(PhD (Counseling Psychology))
Dr. Carlos Juan Carmona-Goyena is a board licensed therapist in the USA and Puerto Rico with a specialty in couples, families, and relationships. Dr. Carlos possesses a PhD in Counseling Psychology granted at the Interamerican University of Puerto Rico. His two-decade professional experience also includes scientific research in family emotional and relational processes and its effect on psychological functioning. Dr....
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