“We are unique individuals with unique experiences.”
– John Gray, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
When you wear a new dress, you wait for his compliments. When you cook a special dish, you want him to say he loved it, and on your birthday and anniversary, you expect him to surprise you. That’s what a woman wants in a relationship.
But have you ever known what men want in a relationship? That’s quite tricky because they are seldom vocal about it. Men don’t tend to communicate their needs from a relationship. However, it doesn’t mean that they do not have any needs.
In this post, we tell you what men want in a relationship, and how a woman can fulfill them.
What Do Men Want In A Relationship?
If you think that men only need physical intimacy in a relationship, you are wrong. Just like women, men, too, want more than just physical gratification. Here are some of the things men need for a relationship to flourish.
- Respect: It is an understatement to say men want respect. For them, respect is equivalent to love. As a partner, they expect you to respect their life choices, career paths, and personality. For them, respect is the best way to say I love you. No amount of kisses, hugs or favors can give them the high like respect does, especially in a social situation. For example: Don’t correct him in front of others, wait until you are in a private setting.
- Praise: Men look for appreciation and praise from their partner. Be it an achievement at work or a simple thing as fixing the toaster, they feel good when you say “I am proud to have such a hard-working husband.” So, ladies if you want your man to be happy, then praise his positives, but be genuine and sincere in your praise.
- Feel loved: Like women, men also want to feel loved by their partners. It is just that their way of expressing this need is different. Women always wait for the man to utter the three magical words, ‘I love you,’ to reassure them. which gives them the assurance that their man loves them. For men, it is the touch that gives them the affirmation of being loved. So, next time when your man reaches out for you in bed, pick up the subtle clues and make him feel loved. Or better yet, you be the initiator.
- A safe place: Right from childhood, men are expected to be tough, and behaviors like complaining, self-doubt, worrying and admitting fears are perceived to be signs of weakness. Although men may look tough to the world, deep down they too have fears and concerns, which need an outlet. So they tend to search for that safe space within their partner. He needs the assurance from you that even though he is at his most vulnerable in front of you, you will love him the same.
- Taken care of: After a tiring day at work, he may want you to greet him with a smile, ask about his day and spend time with him. This would make him feel as if he is the world’s luckiest man and in return would pour out all his love on you. You may also pamper him with a shoulder massage. Even if they aren’t ready to talk right then, they will take comfort in knowing you’re there to listen when they are ready to share.
- Space: Men need their alone time just like women do. They may feel suffocated when their partner clings on to them. Men need their space to breath; they need time for their hobbies, to hang around with their buddies, or just be alone and get immersed in their thoughts. Respect your man’s space if you want him to stay happy and focused.
- Encouragement: Though men may seem self-driven in their careers, encouragement from their partner will add to their strength and confidence. Ask them about their work, understand it and in general show some interest in what their aspirations are. This will bring him closer to you.
- Emotional stability: To show emotional stability means communicating with your partner respectfully, avoiding tantrums, showing maturity by choosing not to say or do things that you will regret later. Find alternative ways to release your negative emotions such as taking a walk, practicing meditation techniques, exercising or confiding in a trusted friend or therapist.
Making a man happy does not have to be complicated — all it takes is love, respect, and trust in him. When he feels safe with you, he will let down his guard and treat you like the queen of his life (which you indeed are).
What The Wife Can Do To Make A Man Happy
Keeping your husband happy may be easier than you think. A few small and thoughtful gestures can make him appreciate you, trust you, love you and fall for you all over again.
- Look attractive: This does not mean, you have to be a size zero or have flawless skin. Eat healthy, workout, maintain good health and stay attractive. Wearing clothes that compliment your body type and little extra grooming are enough to keep him interested.
- Put him first. Your husband wants to feel that he is your top priority. Children, work and other responsibilities can crowd your time and draw your attention away from your man. Find ways to remind him of how important he is to you. It could be as simple as serving his plate first, or stopping what you are doing to greet him with a kiss when he comes home.
- Make him feel needed. Your man wants to feel needed. He wants to be your go-to person and will take pride in being able to “fix” things. Sharing your thoughts and concerns with him and listening to his advice will touch that part of him. Always value his input and advice, even if you don’t fully agree with it. Appreciate the fact that he is interested in helping you solve the problem.
- Take responsibility: Every couple must establish roles and responsibilities for each partner. Do your very best to fulfill your end of the agreement. If you find that you are unable to do so, ask for help when needed, rather than leaving things undone.
- Be understanding: When your husband is feeling restless or irritated, try to understand what he is feeling and why. Start by showing your concern and by letting him know that you’re ready to discuss it when he is ready to open up. If he wants to be left alone, give him space. Everyone has times when they need to sort through their feelings. It can be more beneficial to hold a discussion after he has had time to calm down and think things through.
- Be patient: He may test your patience with his behavior and this may lead you to yelling and screaming. And of course, this makes matters worse. But that is when you need to learn the power of the “pause”. The most important part of communication is being “heard”. When you pause, you allow the situation to de-escalate. When you calm down, you can express yourself in a way that he can truly understand your heart in a way that yelling cannot accomplish.
- Support him: As his wife, you are an integral part of your husband’s support system. Life is full of ups and downs, and nothing stays the same. As situations change, his need for support may change. Always remain adaptable. Stay connected with him and be aware of what support he needs from you as seasons change.
- Cook for him: The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. This may sound old-school but still holds true. Make him a comforting meal and occasionally surprise him with his favorite dish. You don’t have to be a world-class chef; start where you are and add to your repertoire – one recipe at a time. He will truly appreciate your efforts.
- Share his interests: Does he love sports or adventure or cooking? Join him in his hobby, show interest in it, learn about it and participate. This will build companionship, strengthen your friendship, and create fond memories for the two of you. It can also open the door for him to try participating in your interest, as well. .
- Praise him in front of others: Look for ways to express your appreciation for your husband in front of his friends, family or colleagues. Let the world know how awesome you think he is and just watch his chest fill up with pride!
- Make fantasies real: Lure your man, entice him, and make his fantasies come true. But make sure you are comfortable doing it. Don’t be afraid to share your likes and dislikes with him, so that both of you enjoy your intimate moments together.
- Compliment him: It might sound typical of women, but it is true for men too. They also long for compliments when they dress well. Notice and compliment him when he has a new haircut or wears a new shirt. Take an interest in his shopping and give suggestions about what styles you think look best on him.
- Acknowledge him. Pay attention when he is talking to you. Be attentive when he opens up and shares his feelings with you. Do not get distracted by your phone or the television when he is holding a conversation with you. Acknowledge him and give meaningful responses to what he is saying.
A healthy relationship is one where both the partners fulfill each other’s needs and work on meeting one another’s expectations. It is not about one partner giving, while he other partner just takes. So do your part by sowing positive seeds into the relationship, and in return, expect to reap positive benefits from the relationship.