9 Things New Parents Don't Want To Hear

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If you are new parents, you will be startled with the kind of questions that people will fling on you. For one, you are too exhausted to have made that baby to have your mind go like a blank white board. Secondly, you are too preoccupied and unprepared to accept and deal with any questions. If you are parents of newborn for the second time, you could anticipate these questions and be filled with wisdom to answer them poignantly:

1. How Is The Mother Doing?

Sure, your husband called up your folks conveying the good news of arrival of your bundle of joy. The fact that he called up to say that means all is well with you and your baby. If your husband or you answer them by saying, “Don’t ask for the heck of it unless you wanted to invite trouble for us!” Pretty blunt that is. But way to go!

2. How Is The Baby Doing?

Read #1. The good news had a reason to travel to you, you nerd!

3. Do You Get Enough Sleep In The Night?

The fine line between our days and nights has dwindled. We have evolved into nocturnal raccoons that spend the nights feeding and watching over our baby. And yet we manage to have our daytime drills between the chores and all the kangaroo care. Do you think we get enough sleep? Nope, we don’t. Perhaps even you didn’t with your child. So why the curiosity?

4. Let Me Know If You Need Any Help:

Sounds too much of a trite. Come up with better questions – more specific and spot on – like, “Do you want me to bring dinner for your family this Monday?” Or something like, “Can I help you with fetching your kids from the school and take them to play this evening?” Or offer to help with the dishes or laundry or hoovering the house while I am busy with the feeding sessions. Desserts are always welcome, so you could bring them unannounced!

5. We Know What Your Baby Needs – Advice From The Strangers In Market Isles:

It’s likely you will be walking with a crying baby at a supermarket. It will turn heads around much to your embarrassment – as if you are inept at caring for your own baby. And spat will come the undesired bits of advice that your baby is either hungry or sleepy or needs a diaper change. The fact that it comes from a stranger is more than unwelcome. You know pretty well that your baby has no major ‘issues’ in life to complain about other than being hungry or sleepy or quick need to clear off the poop before it smears its back!

6. When Are You Visiting Us With The Newborn?

I don’t think any parent conscious of air-borne or skin borne infections will be interested in giving their newborn a ride around the town. We understand your excitement, but we are not up for the baby being passed into all the hands and make him a germ carrier. We’d rather stay put home – even if that meant getting bored – and come for that eventful visit with our baby when the time is right.

7. When Is Your Next One Arriving?

Excuse me, I think it’s a very personal choice and you are encroaching into our zone of privacy. Secondly, the arrival of the first one has already been a daunting process. So we don’t think we have the energy and time to go for the next one soon after.

8. I Have A Pet, So I Know What It Is Like To Care For A Baby:

Rubbish. Don’t tell me you are up all night nursing your pet. Also your pet is happy to lick out its meal from that dish out there. It needs no spoon-feeding. Don’t compare a human baby with that of a pet. Our needs are different.

9. We Know It Could Be Such A Regret:

Actually not! How could you call a little miracle a ‘regret’? It’s a word totally unfit for our bundle of joy. Our baby is someone we could do everything on earth for – so sleepless nights nursing, changing dirty diapers and crying at odd hours – we are more than happy to take it all – because these are the first steps towards the joys of parenthood.

Oddly you are faced with questions from people who have been parents to newborns themselves. So questions as these sound strange when it comes from them. Perhaps they don’t mean it, perhaps they are simply trying to hit a conversation, but you would love to hear questions that are more meaningful.

What were the sort of questions you were asked as a new parent? Write to us!

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