19 Important Qualities: What To Look For In A Guy?

Knowing what to look for in a guy is against the old saying that love is blind and doesn’t bode well with practicality. But this question is more sensible in real life since reality is not so poetic. Relationships tend to take a negative turn because people usually enter a relationship without realizing what they need in a partner. This is why dating experts suggest listing down the traits that we look for in a compatible partner. This exercise could save you the torment of a bad relationship. It will also give you more confidence and realistic expectations from your partner. Scroll down as we list a few traits that we thought could be helpful in this post.

In This Article

19 Things To Look In For In A Guy

Most women fall for the good looks and the charm of a guy. However, they may not help in a fulfilling and long-lasting relationship. So, here’s what you should look for in a guy before committing yourself into the relationship.

1. He is loving

Men who are loving and affectionate are keepers

Image: IStock

Relationships are about love, affection, and appreciation. It is a no-brainer the guy in your life should care about you and make you feel loved and valued. A guy who never hesitates from telling you and others that you are special to him is definitely the right choice.

2. He is supportive

They say that behind every successful man is a woman. But what they forget to tell you is that behind every successful woman is an understanding and selfless man. It is a blessing to have a guy who projects openness and celebrates your success more than anyone and encourages you to work hard and achieve your goals.

3. He loves your imperfections

All of us have our share of flaws and imperfections. If a guy wants you to act properly all the time then he is not the right choice for you. As a partner, he should accept you for who you are as a person and should respect you no matter what.

protip_icon Point to consider
Keep him at any cost if he treats your friends and family respectfully, shows concern for them, and gets along well with them.

4. He is confident

A confident man won't hesitate to take the relationship forward

Image: Shutterstock

A partner who is not sure about himself or what he wants can be draining. You will always feel alone and insecure with such a guy. However, a confident guy will never hesitate to take things forward. Moreover, he won’t shy away from accepting his mistakes and telling you about yours too.

5. Has a good sense of humor

Life is a tough path with uncertainties and downfalls. We face many ups and downs daily, and it would be great to have a partner who can make you laugh with his crisp sense of humor. One should keep a guy who can laugh at himself and make you happy all the time.

6. He is a good communicator

Communication is the key to any successful relationship. As partners, you should be able to communicate your feelings, fears, anxieties, vulnerabilities, and dreams with each other. If the guy you are in love with likes to keep his matters to himself and shows no interest in what you share with him, then it is better to bid him bye.

7. He puts you first

Relationships nourish when your partner’s thoughtfulness prioritizes you over anyone. If a man truly loves you, he would always put you first. You will be the center of his actions, and he will think about your comfort and ease first. He would know about your interests and will plan things that excite you.

8. He is curious about you

A relationship can only work if both the partners are interested in each other. The guy who loves you will always be curious to know everything about you. He would like to know about your hobbies, likes, dislikes, dreams, and aspirations. After all, it is not possible to love someone if that person doesn’t spark your curiosity.

9. He is kind

A kind partner will always respect you

Image: IStock

The biggest mistake we make while looking out for a partner is that we don’t prioritize kindness and generosity. It is important to see if the guy is kind and has compassion. We all treat our dear ones with love and respect. But a man who is respectful to others, especially the underprivileged, will always be polite with you.

10. He has integrity and values

You cannot trust someone who has no values and changes his stand now and then. When you make a list of things to look for in a guy, you must put integrity and trustworthiness on the top. A man who stands for faithfulness never compromises on his values will never betray your trust.

protip_icon Do remember
Being protective is a desirable quality to look for as long as it doesn’t become excessively controlling.

11. He is positive

If you think that good looks and money are enough for a happy relationship, then think again! Having a guy with radiating optimism in life can lift your spirit whenever you feel low and lost. He will show you the brighter side of everything and help you tide over the crises in life with patience.

12. He is Independent

If a man cannot take care of his expenses and make his own decisions, then it is better to steer clear of him. Only an independent man will be able to value your freedom. He won’t feel insecure when you are meeting your friends, spending time with your family, or just enjoying your me-time.

13. He is passionate

Look for a man who is passionate about his hobbies or work

Image: Shutterstock

A man without passion lacks the motivation and ambition in life and will be boring. So before dating someone, make sure that he is passionate about something. He can be passionate about his work, trekking, social work, or anything. This is an important thing to look for in a guy because only a passionate man will understand and appreciate your hobbies and passions.

14. He is responsible

If you think that dating a bad guy who smokes, rides a bike, and punches people is cool, then it is high time to come out of this fallacy. Things like this only look appealing till you are a teenager. If you want a stable relationship for yourself, then make sure that your guy is responsible and sensible. A stable guy will always show up on time and will be ready to take responsibility. His deliberate efforts and dependability can help keep the relationship smooth and exciting.

15. He is emotionally mature

Emotional maturity is essential if you seek a long-term relationship with a guy. Indeed, you don’t want to date someone who throws tantrums now and then. You can discuss anything and everything with an emotionally mature person without getting snapped. He will evaluate the situation by keeping all the aspects in mind and will solve the problems.

16. He shares common interests with you

Life can be so much fun when your partner is also interested in the things you find exciting! It doesn’t mean your guy should share your interests. But it will be great if you have some of them in common. It can make you compatible with each other. You will share life adventures and there will be less space for outsiders as you will enjoy each other’s company the most.

17. He is honest

Integrity amd honesty should be his core values

Image: Shutterstock

What can be worse than being in a relationship with a guy who manipulates things instead of being honest and upfront about them? Therefore look for an honest and straightforward guy because he will be truthful about his feelings and will make the relationship effortless.

18. He is ambitious

Being ambitious can be an important trait to consider when you look forward to building a long-term partnership with a guy. An ambitious guy is motivated and always strives to be the best version of himself. He has clear goals, a vision, and a drive to achieve them. He is determined and focused on achieving his goals. Ambition can contribute to personal growth and a drive to excel in everything, including relationships. Ambitious people are also focused on financial stability, which contributes to a better life.

19. He is vulnerable

Vulnerability is a desirable quality in a man. A person who puts aside his ego and is willing to be vulnerable with you can make an excellent partner. A vulnerable guy doesn’t hesitate to show his feelings. He is not afraid to be himself and share what is on his mind. It is like being honest and real about good and not-so-good things. This openness creates trust and helps you understand each other better, strengthening the bond. So, finding a guy who can be a bit vulnerable can make the relationship strong and fulfilling.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What are some red flags to watch out for when looking for a guy?

A guy eyeing other women in your presence, treating you or anyone around you disrespectfully, lying habitually, showing no interest in you, and signs of aggression are some red flags to watch out for when looking for a guy.

2. How important is a guy’s level of ambition?

Ambition in a guy is important for a healthy relationship. However, too much ambition also is not good. If a guy’s ambition is all that matters to him, the relationship may not be his priority, leading to disappointments.

3. What should I look for in a guy’s family background?

A guy’s family background should not matter too much if he is a genuinely good person and you truly love him. However, you may still ensure that his family has no criminal history. He must share a good bond with his folks or at least have respect for them.

4. What should I look for in a guy’s past relationships?

You need to know the reason why his past relationships did not work. It will give you an idea of what you can expect from him in a relationship and helps you better understand him. You also need to know the kind of girls he has dated to know what kind of partner he is interested in.

5. What are some qualities that make a guy a good listener?

He remembers minor details about you that you ever mentioned to him. He gives you his undivided attention. He does not interrupt when you are talking. He exhibits positive language, such as nodding and leaning toward you. These qualities are often signs of a good listener.

6. How important is it for a guy to have similar interests as me?

Common interests are a medium for a couple to bond. However, in a relationship, ‘opposites attract,’ so do not worry if you and your boyfriend do not have common interests. You can always develop a common interests to help you bond.

Having clarity on what to look for in a guy, such as the characters, can help you save time, energy, and, more importantly, the torment of a broken relationship. A good sense of humor, loyalty, being supportive, caring, empathy, emotional intelligence, honesty, and also being responsible are some things that make a guy a good partner. Over and above that, accepting your imperfections and sharing common interests can make him more attractive. Finally, if you are happy and relaxed when he’s around, you can consider building a relationship with him.

Infographic: Important Traits To Look For In The Man Of Your Dreams

Having the right partner beside you will make your life a happy journey. So, choose the right man for you before embarking on a relationship or marriage. Explore the infographic below to learn about some key attributes a man should possess, whether you’re looking for a boyfriend or a husband.

characteristics you should look for when searching for a guy (infographic)

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Key Pointers

  • Being aware of certain key attributes to look for in a guy can help you decide whether he is your Mr. Right.
  • If he is interested in you, accepts your imperfections, and supports all your endeavors, he could be the one for you.
  • Moreover, if he is responsible, mature, and trustworthy, he may be a right match for you.
what to look for in a guy_illustration

Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team

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Wayne J. Ottenbreit
Wayne J. OttenbreitB.A, B.Ed, M.Ed
Wayne trained as a classroom educator for the secondary level before moving to middle years. A career transition in the late 2000s took him from the classroom to working with young people as a guidance counselor and setting up a limited practice as a marriage & family therapist (Vivens Counselling).

Read full bio of Wayne J. Ottenbreit