45 Things You Should and Shouldn’t Say To Your Husband

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If you hit a rough patch in your marriage and are looking for things you should not say to your husband, read on! Melanie and her husband have been married for six months. She was irritated by her husband’s family’s excessive ‘intervention.’ She was so furious one day that she bombarded her husband with complaints as soon as he arrived home from work. This ruined the environment at home, and the couple ended up sleeping angry at each other. Melanie felt terrible for her actions, but she could not take back what she said.

You may be very close to your partner and speak your heart with them. However, just as in any other relationship, your words have the power to make or break your marriage. Think before you talk to avoid having to apologize afterward. This post presents some romantic things you should say to your husband to make him happy and some that you should totally avoid.

27 Things You Should Tell Your Husband

A few sweet words that you tell your husband can brighten up his otherwise hectic and tiresome day. Those words would make him long to spend time with you. Below, we present a few encouraging words for husband in which you can spill your heart out to him. But remember, be honest and mean what you say.

Phrases to appreciate and encourage your husband

1. “I appreciate you and everything you do”

Acknowledge your husband's love

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Many married men and those in a relationship often complain about how their better halves do not let them know that they are appreciated. One thing you should say more to your husband is how much you appreciate him and what he does. This will boost his confidence and also make him want to do even more. This is a good thing, especially when you want to strengthen your marriage.

Quick tip
Look directly into your husband’s eyes when you express your appreciation. Direct eye contact makes your message feel more authentic.

2. “Thanks for helping around the house”

Helping around the house can be a little daunting for your husband. You are more than likely to have your own way of doing things, and he will not want to mess that up. However, when he does help out, make sure that you let him know that you are grateful. He may not do things exactly the way you like them to be done, but at least he is trying.

3. “I am committed to you”

Like many other things in life, love can be fleeting. Committing to someone shows that your love is strong and much more than a simple emotion. A commitment transcends love. It is about choosing to stick with someone in spite of circumstances or feelings. When you show and also voice out your commitment, it makes your husband feel secure and strengthen his commitment to you and your marriage as well.

4. “Let’s spend more time together”

This is one of the special things to do for your husband to make him feel great! With both your busy schedules, you and your husband probably do not get enough time together. Making this suggestion will make him feel special and also make him feel like you are willing to work towards making your marriage last. You need to spend quality time together to be able to nurture your relationship and allow it to grow. Letting your husband know that you want to spend more time with him also shows that you feel close to him and miss him. He probably feels the same way. Set up a fun, romantic date night and make it a must to take a day out of the week for each other.

Point to consider
Having a daily ritual, such as taking a walk in the evening, having dinner together, or journaling, is a good way to spend time together, even if you both lead a busy life.

5. “I like you”

Short, simple and sweet – this is a nice thing to say to your husband every once in a while. People can love each other without actually liking each other. When you tell your husband you like him; you show that you care for him deeply and are also a fan of his person. This is a great feeling that he will love. You do not have to say I love you to make someone feel special. Sometimes a simple “I like you” will bring out a smile on their faces that lasts all day.

6. “You are a wonderful father”

Your husband may not be sure about his parenting skills. To encourage him to keep moving in the right direction, let him know that he is a wonderful father. This will boost his self-esteem, and he will be more confident as a parent. When he is more confident, he will be able to make better decisions for the kids and the entire family. Everyone wants to be a good parent, and it is important that you tell your husband that he is one. Let him know that he is a valuable asset to the family. Make sure that you are there to guide and support him in certain situations that require two parents.

7. “I love the way you provide for the family”

When it comes to providing, men hold themselves to a high standard. All they want is for you to acknowledge their efforts. It is important for you to let him know that you appreciate everything he does for the family. You should let your husband know that he does not have to make millions to keep his family happy.

8. “I am at my best with you!”

Many of us often feel that our husbands are a blessing from God. We can be ourselves around them, and they help us grow into a better person. They forgive our mistakes and understand our problems. You should let your husband know how much you have grown as a person and on so many levels at that. It will make him happy knowing that he is a major contributor to your overall development.

9. “You can always make me smile and laugh”

Spend good time with your man

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Let your husband know that he brightens up your day. Show him that he brings positive energy into your home, and you love him for it. While he may not be the funniest guy in the world, let him know that you get his jokes and love them all. These compliments will make him feel good and reassure him that he is doing a good job of keeping everyone happy.

10. “I’m so proud of you”

If your husband makes you proud, make sure he knows it. This will make your husband feel special. Your marriage will go far as long as you stand by your husband and give him your support whenever he needs it. We are living in a world that is constantly knocking us down, so make sure to let him know that you will be around to pick him up. Letting your husband know that you are proud of him will make him work harder to achieve his dreams and do even better by his family.

Quick tip
Take it up a notch by praising your husband in front of your children. Show off any of his work enthusiastically to them.

11. “I’m so glad that I married you”

There may be times when your husband feels like he has let you down. Let him know that you would marry him again in a heartbeat no matter what. Whether it is a fight or argument, or after a difficult week, your better half may be feeling down and think that he is a disappointment. Reassure him that you love him and that there is no one else you would rather marry. If you want to do something nice for your husband then this is the one. Find out some romantic ways to tell your husband you love him.

12. “I love you”

Three powerful encouraging words for your husband which he loves to hear always! Sometimes, in the mad rush of everyday schedules, we often forget the important things in life. Like taking the time to say a quick I love you to each other. Let your husband know that you love him by saying the actual words. It can make a huge difference in his entire day. Whether it is in the morning before he goes off to work, or in the evening after a long day, saying these three words, does more than tell him that you love him; it also shows that you appreciate everything he does.

13. “How are you?”

This may sound a little silly, but let’s face it – everyone needs to talk things out. Take the time to ask your husband how he is. You may get an unexpected reply. Maybe he is insecure about something and feels uncomfortable bringing it up. Or maybe he is perfectly fine. You will never know unless you ask. This simple question will show your husband that you are concerned and that you will be there for him, no matter what.

14. “You are my best friend”

People think that love and romance deplete as the years go by in a marriage. But that is not true. Saying that “You are my bestie” is one of the best words for a husband. He is the one person who is always by your side and has been a constant support in tough times. You know that you share all your thoughts and ideas with him. Why not tell him that? When you tell your husband that he is your best friend, you are not just putting him on the pedestal of a good husband, but also giving him an important position in your life. Calling him your best friend would mean that you would share your stories with him without any inhibitions, and you trust him to be a counsel.

15. “You are the perfect dad!”

There is nothing better than this as a compliment. Every husband wants to be the perfect father figure and role model to their children. When you, the mother of the kids, who knows them inside out, pays such a compliment, it definitely brightens them up and fills them with happiness. This would also go on to show that you are aware of all the things your husband does for the children, including the tiny ways in which he is contributing to their growth.

Phrases that show you are understanding

16. “Let’s work things out”

Instead of trying to resolve your problems with harsh words and a lot of yelling, take a deep breath, calm down and tell your husband that you want to work things out, and you are doing it the wrong way. Reassure him that you are willing to do anything to take care of the problems you have. The last thing your husband wants to do is shout and fight with you so he will appreciate these words and probably feels the same way too.

17. “We should work together to make this work”

If you are going through marital issues, you need to work together as a couple to resolve things and save your marriage. It can be easy to blame your spouse for everything that goes wrong in the marriage. However, remember that it takes two hands to clap, so you need to work with each other, not against each other. When you tell your husband this, he will appreciate you even more, especially since you are not putting all the blame on him.

18. “Differences bring us closer”

You may have been in a bad fight with your husband, and it may seem like everything has come to an end, the love is gone, and you want to run away from him. But hold that thought! You must understand that two people could have different views and ideas. Instead of losing your cool and yelling at your husband, explain to him why you had a difference of opinion. Try to sort things out and let him know that you are willing to listen.

19. “I know you will probably say no, but…”

If you are planning to make a request for something, starting out on a negative note like this will most likely make your husband feel like saying “no.” You should frame your words in a positive way, and it will sound much better. It will also give you more positive results.

20. “Is there something I can do for you?”

Most times, men do not feel like telling anyone when they need help from someone else. You should ask your spouse if he needs something and whether you can help in any way. This shows him that you care and that you do acknowledge the hard work he is putting in, whether it is in your marriage or looking after you, your family and your home. Men need help sometimes too; they just do not know how to ask for it, so keep in mind to ask if there is anything you can do.

21. “I know you’ll make the right decision”

Life is full of tough situations where you need to make tough decisions. If there are situations where you are not sure how to handle things or if you will make the right decision, you should entrust the job to your husband and let him know that you trust him to make the right decision for the entire family. As the man of the house, he will be better suited to making certain decisions. This is one of the great things to say to your husband that he is bound to feel great knowing that you are 100% behind him.

22. “You have my 100% support”

Give all the support yo your husband

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This is one of the positive things to say to your husband, and something that every spouse needs to hear. It is what will drive him to do better, not only in the marriage but life as well. You and your husband will need each other’s back through thick and thin, and by telling your husband that you are with him all the way, you are letting him know that you are 100% committed to your marriage. This is a great way to strengthen your marriage and bond even more as a couple.

23. “I am sorry to have hurt you”

We all make mistakes along the way, and none of us is perfect. While this is true, it is also true that one must accept ones mistakes. Whenever you have done something that could have hurt your husband, apologize and accept it. Trying to avoid confrontation or not accepting your mistake would only lead to more troubles. When your husband sees you accepting the mistake, he would also work towards understanding why you did so and maybe this episode would never take place again.

24. “I hope I am able to understand you well”

Getting or taking feedback is one of the most important things in life, and why not in relationships? A timely question like this would help you understand your husband better and know how his temperament is. But we must warn you. Don’t divulge a lot. Asking this often can get him irritated as he may think that you are unable to understand him or are constantly insecure about him. So, limit your questions.

Phrases to let him have his alone time

25. “Do you want to talk about it later?”

He will surely love these words of appreciations for husband. As you know, men have a more difficult time communicating. Just because you are ready to hash things out does not mean he is. By giving him the option of talking about things later, you give him a chance to think things through and find out what he wants to say. This will help a lot when the time comes for you both to sit down and talk things through. One of the nice things to do for your husband that will make your marriage more interesting!

26. “Do you need time alone?”

Again, this gives your husband time to cool off and think things through before actually discussing anything. By asking him this, you show him that you understand that he needs time and that you are willing to give him that time. You also let him know that you care about his feelings too, not just yours. This will make him appreciate you more, and he will work towards resolving the issues you have.

27. “Be yourself!”

We all want a little less or more of something in our husbands. While asking them to avoid bad habits (like smoking, drinking, doing drugs, etc.), it is not very wise to ask them to change themselves. Everyone has a certain personality, which makes him different from the crowd. Your husband would definitely be special in more than one way. Tell him how he is good and how he can be himself always. Appreciate your husband for things he does for you and the family.

Things You Should Not Tell Your Husband

Anger usually gets the better of us, but if we can hold our tongue at the right moment, it would benefit us very well. While frustrations are a part of every relationship, some things should never be said out aloud.

28. “I always do everything”

While it is true that you may be busy around the house all day, it is probably far from true that you do everything alone. This is something that many women make the mistake of saying. Instead of talking about how you do and complaining about how little he does, focus on what he does do and praise him for it. You will notice some big changes soon. When you show your words of appreciation for the things your husband does, no matter how small, he will want to please you more and make more of an effort to help around the house.

29. “Let me show you how it’s done”

As you know, men feel good about themselves when they think that they can solve life’s problems, no matter how small. When you step in and direct your husband’s behavior, especially if he has not asked you to, it is a direct message to him saying that he is not competent. If you have any suggestions, start them off by saying something like, “I have a suggestion, if you’d like.” This way, you sound more like you are just trying to help rather than insulting him and saying that you can do better than him.

30. “You never listen to me”

Accusing your husband of not listening to you is a mistake that you should avoid making. Apart from being untrue, it is an unfair thing to say to your partner. Many women say this when they have a fight with their boyfriend or husband as they know it strikes a nerve. Saying anything in an accusatory tone should be avoided even if it is true, so watch how you utter these words. Instead of accusing him, let him gently know that his actions disappointed you and that you would like him to start listening to you more, just as you listen to him.

31. “Stay away from me”

As you know, we often say things in the heat of the moment and later regret it. This is one of those things. This sentence can hurt your husband’s feelings, especially if you say it during a fight. It will sound like you are pushing him away, and that is not something that anyone, including you, would like. It can be satisfying to say something hurtful to someone, but you will probably regret it later so refrain from doing so.

32. “What is wrong with you?”

This is one of the worst things you could say to your husband. It is one thing if it is a joke, but if you seriously mean, it can make your husband feel low. For instance, if you said it because he forgot to pick up milk at the store, you can rest assured that he will never offer to pick it up again. Attacking someone with words is not the best way to express your feelings so make sure you are careful how you do it. It could end up creating a rift between you and your husband.

33. “That’s all you did?”

So, the world is not perfect, and your husband missed a few chores while you were out. If you expected something from your husband but did not articulate it, you should own up to it rather than letting him feel like a major disappointment. For example, if you asked him to tidy up the kids’ room and he put all the toys in one corner of the room and pulled the blankets over the bed. You did not give your husband specific details on how to organize the kids’ room so he did it the best way he could. Instead of saying this, you can tell him that you appreciate his help and that next time, you will be more specific about how to clean up the room. Your husband will appreciate this and will want to do better in the future too.

34. “What on earth were you thinking?!”

Consider a scenario where your husband comes home and shares how a plan backfired on him. He will be looking for compassion and your support. He did not ask for your opinion. All he wanted to do was get it off his chest and not be treated as a joke or a failure. You could try saying, “If it were me, I would’ve done…” You do not have to say too much as you may end up saying something wrong. Just keep it non-critical and simple.

35. “You’re pathetic”

Don't say any hurtful words to husband

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This is something you should never, and we mean NEVER say, no matter how much you want to hurt your husband. Even if he said something critical and sounded like he was attacking you, giving it back in the same coin is far from an ideal solution. Be direct and also, be the grown up. Tell him that if he is angry, frustrated or upset, he should talk to you as a partner and an adult instead of using harsh words to vent his frustration. This is an effective way to make sure that he learns to communicate in a more mature way.

36. “My ex was always good…”

No matter what happens, you CANNOT say this to your husband. Just assume your husband told this to you, how miserable would you feel about it? That is exactly how he would also feel. People are different, and while some may be good at certain things, some are good at certain other things. You should never demean your husband by comparing him to anyone, especially to your ex.

37. “Watch the kids tonight but don’t mess up!”

Sure, your husband may not have been handling or taking care of the kids as often as you do, but that does not give you the leverage to order him around or teach him how to take care of children. He has been by your side and knows what’s to be done when needed. He may have his way of playing with the kids or taking care of them, and you must respect that. Of course, tell him that you would be available in case he needed help with something but avoid teaching him to do things your way, especially when it comes to kids.

38. “I’m fine; I’m okay!”

Those two phrases right there are the most dangerous ones that a husband ever wants to listen to. Experience has taught your husband that when you say you’re fine or okay, you’re the opposite. They may not be able to gauge a certain situation. Do not leave them guessing about what went wrong or frustrated about not knowing what to do. Tell him what hurt you, without venting your frustration. Chances are he will not repeat the scenario.

39. “Why can’t you be more like ______?”

And why can’t you, as a wife, be fair? It is bad to make comparisons and while comparing your husband to your ex is blasphemy, comparing him to anyone else is equally bad. You may see a few flaws in our husband, and you may want to get rid of them for the good of the relationship, but asking him to be someone else is just not right. This would not only mean that you do not like your husband as he is, but also that you trust and like another person more than your husband. No one, let alone a husband, would want to hear this. This phrase would only bring unhappiness into your husband’s life and eventually into the relationship.

40. “You would understand if you loved me”

No, darling! He would understand you if you told him what went wrong. You may be emotional, and emotions do get the better of us, but if your husband were not understanding he wouldn’t still be around while you are sobbing away. He cares for you. He loves you immensely, which is why he wants to be a part of all your joys and help you in your sorrows. Do not depreciate his efforts by saying harsh things. If he has hurt you, let him know how and why.

41. “Your family is bad!”

We are all very sensitive about our families and can never hear anything against the people with whom we have lived since our birth. There are a variety of emotions that we share with them, besides the blood bond, which make them very special to us. You may feel bad about something that a family member has done but instead of abusing them outright, tell your husband what you didn’t like. This would not only give you some peace of mind, but also help him solve a crisis and take care of things before matters go out of hand.

42. “I don’t like your friends!”

We are all partly identified by the company that we keep. If you do not like his friends, chances are you do not like something in him as well. It is good to point out a certain characteristic of the group that you dislike, but disliking his friends altogether is rude. If you do happen to have a strong dislike, have a strong reason as well. Just because he may be spending a tad bit more time with them, giving you the jealousy streaks, do not hate his friends.

43. “Don’t start this again…!!!”

This probably happens to be the most common phrase in a marriage. Yes, we are habituated to doing some things in certain ways, living or having a certain lifestyle, and even being a certain way. This may lead to conflicts but using the above phrase simply means that you want to have the upper hand in the debate, or you want to shut matters downright. You do not want a room for discussion and have no interest in doing the same. You’d rather go to bed with a foul mood than resolve an issue.

44. “I wish I never married you!”

Don't blame your husband

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This phrase doesn’t just break a heart but shatters it. Imagine all the memories come collapsing down the moment you uttered these words. Saying something as extreme as this only means that you do not respect the relationship. This would force your husband to think that you can live without him and that the love may never have existed at all. This could also lead to further rejection in the relationship.

45. “It is all your fault!”

You cannot clap with one hand, and it is never one person’s fault. Yes, there may be times when it is no one’s fault, and the situation may have risen entirely due to a lack of communication or a misunderstanding. This is when you need to ask yourself if blaming your husband for it all is a good idea. While you need not take the entire blame upon yourself, do not blame him either. Assess the situation and try and understand why something went wrong. Remember, communication is the key.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How should not a wife treat her husband?

A wife should not treat her husband with disrespect. She should not try to change him or manipulate him. She shouldn’t be needy or try controlling him.

2. Is it okay not to tell my partner everything?

Not telling your partner everything can be beneficial for your relationship. You need not tell your partner everything about your past relationships. Also, don’t talk about your dislike for a friend, his family member, or the charming male colleague at the office.

3. What is not okay in a relationship?

Lying, cheating, physical and emotional abuse, and obsession are not okay in a relationship. You should also not resort to gaslighting, controlling, and manipulation to maintain a fruitful relationship.

There are some things you shouldn’t say to your husband. Be it during an intense discussion or after a fight, you must be mindful of what you say to each other. Being gentle and respectful of one another and consistently trying to use pleasant words could help to a large extent even to resolve a fight or to help them understand your point of view. You may get too busy preparing meals, feeding the kids, grocery shopping, or cleaning the house that you might overlook what you are saying to your spouse. However, once you have understood what to say and what not to, you can easily avoid heartbreak, anger, and unpleasant vibes. A few words of appreciation and encouragement for your husband can make your marriage grow and strengthen your bond.

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