Raising children can bring great joy and happiness to the parents but can also be quite challenging at times. The success and accomplishments of your child will feel like your own and you will take pride in the fact that it was your guidance that helped them in the achievement. But when your little one refuses to listen to you and does exactly the opposite of what you expect them to, it can get frustrating and cause you much distress. In such situations, parents often get confused as to how to deal with it. Some parents just let the kids be, but that can have a long-term impact on your child not listening to you at all. And some resort to force or violence, which is further detrimental to the child’s mental health.
However, when you know how to deal with them the right way, you’ll soon notice how they are capable of listening to you. We’ve listed a bunch of psychological tricks that you can use to ensure that your child is listening to you when you want them to. Read on to find out what we’re talking about:
Give Them The Feeling Of Being In Control
The idea that your child calls the shots may seem counterintuitive when it comes to getting them to listen to you. However, you’ll be surprised that they learn to work with you better when you give them a certain amount of control over a situation. For example, when your child wants to play video games instead of studying, don’t flat out stop them from playing games. Instead, ask them if they’re going to play their game after or before studying — this way, they feel like they’re the ones controlling the situation, as though they decide when they get to play and when they have to study.
Make Sure You Have Their Attention
It can get extremely frustrating when you are trying to get your child to listen to you, but they don’t. Sometimes, it could be that they are so engrossed in what they are doing that they simply don’t register the fact that you are trying to communicate with them. So, it is best to ensure that they have your undivided attention. To do this, you could maybe bend a little to reach their eye level. Maintain eye contact as you speak and make sure that they too make eye contact with you. Further, you can place your hands on their shoulders and turn them to you, so they know you are making a point. This is particularly necessary when you need them to listen to you, but they are screaming or laughing.
Whisper To Them
The whole idea is to try and get your child to “listen” to you. So, you’re probably wondering how a whisper fits into this equation. Here’s how — when you whisper to your child, it takes a lot more mental effort on their part to listen. They have to lean in and try harder to figure out what you are saying. On the other hand, when you are screaming at them or yelling, they don’t have to put in as much effort since they can already hear you. Also, when you whisper, their automatic response is that something important is being said. You’d be surprised how whispering can be more effective than screaming.
Don’t Overwhelm Them With Too Much Information
You’re not helping your child when you keep barking orders or giving them too much information, all at the same time. This is particularly true when talking to your child about certain safety measures, rules, or regulations. Let them digest a few things at a time. For example, when your child is going on a road trip, and you know they can be reckless, don’t overwhelm them with too many do’s and don’ts. Instead, list out the main points they need to bear in mind and repeat this often. You can throw in the other details eventually, at a later time. A child’s brain can only take in so much information at any given point in time, so limit the instructions to three or four sentences.
Keep A Tab On Yourself
There’s a fine line between being protective and overprotective. Sometimes, in an attempt to keep your child well within a safe boundary, you may end up nagging at them a little too much. When you turn into a nag, the negatives outweigh the positives. Here’s how:
- It would make your child feel like they are incapable of making decisions on their own.
- They begin to look at you as the enemy, not as a confidant who can support and guide them.
- They’ll soon start to ignore you and pay less attention than before, or you will end up annoying them.
Tell Them How Their Behavior Affects You
When your kids misbehave and refuse to listen to you, it truly can hurt. So, instead of keeping this fact to yourself, express it to them. By telling them how you feel, you allow them to understand that their actions can have consequences. What we say or do can significantly impact the people around us, and your child should know this as well. When they begin to realize that being troublesome can make you feel terrible, they may begin to mend their ways.
While it can be frustrating and tiresome when your child refuses to listen to you, it is also crucial for you to be patient. So, listen to them, just as you expect them to listen to you. Let them speak, so they have a chance to explain their actions. It’s important for you, as a parent, to realize that having your kids listen to you doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a gradual process that happens one step at a time. So, utilize the points we have discussed above and slowly reap the benefits of your child listening to you. How do you make your kids listen to you? Share with us in the comments section below.