20 Clever Ways To Tell If A Guy Is Confused About His Feelings

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The guy you are dating is sending mixed signals, and you are unsure if he is interested in you or not. Knowing some common signs a guy is confused about his feelings for you can give you a certain level of clarity. It could be frustrating if he does not reciprocate your feelings, but you should try to understand his situation. Perhaps he is shy, or not sure if you would accept him. Reading these signs about his confused state could help you understand him better.

How To Tell If A Guy Is Confused About His Feelings For You: 20 Clear Signs

1. He’s commitment-phobic

Signs a guy is confused about his feelings for you

Image: iStock

When love comes knocking, he should either slam the door shut or keep one foot outside to protect himself. When a guy is confused about his feelings for you, he may exhibit signs of commitment-phobia. He may be afraid of committing to you because meeting your needs is too challenging for him, or he’s afraid of the emotional risks that come with a committed relationship.

Did you know?
The fear of commitment also stems from the fear of compromising their freedom. Men often fear losing their independence once they commit.

2. He’s not that interested in you

Perhaps he isn’t attracted to you or he isn’t incredibly excited about you, and he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Most guys will say if they are interested at the end of a date or a phone call rather than nothing at all. If your man isn’t doing this, he might not be that interested in you.

3. He had a bad breakup

If he is still in the process of healing from a breakup, he may not be ready to move forward, or he could be preserving his heart from enduring similar pain or emotional distress. One of the telltale signs he’s confused about his feelings for you is when his past makes him fearful of what’s to come, and he’s unsure if you’ll be together for a long time.

4. He’s scared

Do you find him super scared of his feelings, or he doesn’t understand what’s really going on in his head? It shows he doesn’t know what to do with his feelings because he doesn’t understand them or has never felt them before.

5. He’s unsure of what he wants

Another reason a guy is confused about his feelings for you is that he is unsure of what he wants. For example, if he avoids discussing the future with you because he doesn’t know what he wants from the relationship or maybe himself.

6. He stares but looks away

He quickly looks away when you notice

Image: iStock

His body language reveals more than he can hide. For example, if you notice him staring at you whenever you’re around, and he quickly looks away when you notice. It’s possible that he found you attractive but is too shy to express himself, or it could be one of the signs that your guy is confused about his feelings for you.

7. He’s unpredictable

If you’re wondering how to tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you, he’ll blow hot and cold with you. His behavior and attitude can be unpredictable. He’ll be with you for a while, showing interest in you and your life, and then he’ll suddenly pull away from you. Then, he doesn’t contact you for a week or more.

8. He’s not emotionally communicative

Some men are probably less emotional than women or don’t show their emotional side. A confused guy could have difficulty communicating his emotions to you. When he cannot express his feelings, language tends to break down, and expression takes a back seat.

9. He fears rejection

When a man is confused about his feelings for you, it could be due to fear of rejection. So instead of focusing on getting to know you and deciding on another date, he may spend all of his time worrying about whether you like him or not. He may even be afraid that you will reject him for a date, which could be hurtful.

Point to consider
Financial instability may also stop him from expressing his feelings for you as it may fuel his fears of rejection.

10. He doesn’t introduce his loved ones

He will not introduce you to his loved ones

Image: iStock

If you suggest you are open to meeting his family or friends, he may avoid you or cook up some stories. It is unlikely that a guy will not introduce his romantic interest to his loved ones unless the relationship is new or he does not have friends or family. This is a telltale sign that the guy is confused about his feelings and may not be serious about you as a partner.

11. He doesn’t want to meet your family

You are yet to introduce him to your family because every time you plan, he has something up his sleeve at the last moment. It’s usually because he is confused about his feelings for you or he’s not interested in committing.

12. His attention is drawn to someone else

A guy who likes you will never look at other women when you’re spending time as a couple. But if he has mixed feelings about being in a relationship with you, you can find him scouting for other fish in the sea.

13. He sends random texts

One of the signs he’s confused about his feelings for you is when he messages you all the time, and the conversation can be fantastic until it abruptly ends. Later, he sends you random texts out of nowhere. Although he may have feelings for you, his erratic texting behavior suggests he is unsure. When he texts you constantly but never plans to meet up, it’s possible that he’s only flirting with you or likes you as a friend.

14. He behaves differently in public

If you’re wondering if the guy is confused about his feelings for you, observe his behavior around you and in public. If you notice that he expresses his affection for you and even touches you in private, but avoids you in public as if you are a friend and not a romantic partner, then you can be clear about his confused intentions.

Quick tip
Notice his body language around you. If he keeps fixing his hair, touches his face, and acts fidgety when with you may indicate that the man is interested in you.

15. He feels you are already in a relationship

He orbits your social media and discovers you posting some attractive images of yourself with your guy friends. In that case, he most likely believes you are already in a relationship and stays confused about his feelings for you.

16. He compliments you but doesn’t say he loves you

He may be waiting for you to say it first

Image: Shutterstock

He lavishes you with compliments but never says the magical words “I love you.” For example, he could tell you that you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever met or that any guy would be lucky to have you as a girlfriend. This indicates that a guy is confused about his feelings for you, particularly if you’ve been dating for a year. He may be waiting for you to say it first, or he’s shy about expressing his feelings.

17. He avoids discussing plans

One of the signs to tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you is when you talk about marriage, future, children, and a dream home. You’ll notice that whenever you bring up these topics, he tries to avoid them. Some guys avoid discussing these topics with women until they are sure they like them.

18. He says he is not ready

When a guy says he isn’t ready yet and gives genuine reasons, he may like you but he could have dreams to pursue. However, if he claims that he is not ready for the relationship without proper justification and tries to dodge the subject, it shows he is confused.

19. He doesn’t define his relationship with you

You are unsure and uneasy because he does not define the relationship. You have no idea what kind of relationship you’re in or where it’s going, and it’s awful. If a guy refuses to define the relationship, he may be confused or is not serious being with you.

20. He doesn’t admit his feelings

He’ll call you his friend in a group

Image: Shutterstock

He denies when his or your friends mention the chemistry you two have and laughs it off when someone says you two would make a wonderful couple. Instead, he’ll call you his friend in a group. It shows he is not ready for a relationship with you.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How do you check if someone hides their feelings for you?

When someone tries to hide their feelings, they become uncomfortable around you. Their words may not feel any different, but their body language and gestures, such as fiddling with their clothes or fidgeting with their phone, can convey their internal unrest. Noticing and remembering every detail about you, going out of the way to be there for you, and trying everything possible to impress you are some telltale signs that someone is hiding their feelings for you.

2. What happens when a man is unsure of his feelings?

When a man is unsure of his feelings, he can give you mixed signals. He will not express his feelings for you nor deny them. He may indicate that he likes you but could stay wary of any commitments and promises. Some guys might behave too indifferent and throw temper tantrums just to ensure their emotions don’t surface. If you think your guy is unsure of his feelings, give him time and space to introspect about what he wants. Pressurizing or nagging him to commit may make him more indecisive.

With these tips, you can clearly understand all of his confusing gestures and behaviors. Although his actions may become frustrating when you are sure about your feelings for him, give him some time to think and clear his head. The signs a guy is confused about his feelings for you may not be too obvious all the time. Hence, you need to be aware and help him recognize his true feelings without pressuring him. Nevertheless, remember to be transparent about what you want, and don’t let him stall you for too long.

Infographic: Signs A Guy Is Confused About His Feelings

The mixed signals, the random approaches, and suddenly distancing himself may be his way of dealing with his confused feelings. If his behavior is putting you in a dilemma and you can’t understand whether he’s simply shy or confused about his feelings, here are the obvious signs of confusion in a guy to help you understand.

how to tell if a guy is confused about his feelings [infographic]
Illustration: MomJunction Design Team

Key Pointers

  • If your boyfriend is afraid of commitments and feelings, it might mean he’s unsure about his feelings for you.
  • A confused guy may have trouble expressing his feelings to you.
  • He’ll be on the lookout for other women if he has mixed feelings about you.
  • Such a guy would refuse to define your relationship with him.

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