As young adults, we have all at some point been asked this question – do you prefer a love marriage or an arranged marriage? It has been the topic of many hostel room conversations, and also gossip sessions with friends, relatives, and cousins!
Marriages at their core, whether they may be arranged by families or brought together by love, are a bonding experience of two souls. Marriage is one of the most important milestones in anyone’s life and is the beginning of a whole new journey.
But what sets the arranged and love marriages apart? Here’s a list to give you an idea. Read on and maybe at the end of the article; you’ll be able to decide which one would you actually like to go for.
1. Who Do You Impress?
In a love marriage, it’s all about falling in love with one person, the one you would want to marry eventually. In an arranged marriage, before falling in love with your prospective other, there are a series of other people you must impress!
Right from your to-be mother-in-law to that almost insignificant second cousin, each one of them must “fall in love” with you before you can take the plunge!
2. Say What?
It wouldn’t be wrong to say in a love marriage you marry just one person, but in an arranged marriage, you marry the whole family!
Don’t get us wrong. It’s just that instead of having to adjust to just one person, you have to adjust with the whole family. That’s all.
3. Mixed Feelings
Of course, it is natural to feel nervous on the day of your wedding. But in a love marriage, it is mostly about a feeling of relief that you can now finally be with the one you love, permanently.
In an arranged marriage, however, it is just the beginning of a new adventure, where over the next few days you’ll not just be discovering new things about your significant other, but also about your brand new family.
4. What Next?
No matter what you do, there are a few questions that you just can’t avoid after having tied the knot. The most prominent one among them will invariably be, “When are you having a baby?!” In an arranged marriage, you can expect this question quite early on, while in a love marriage, the only factors affecting the decision will be you and your significant other, and the families will in all likelihood stay away from such matters.
5. Living The “Married” Life
Whatever’s said and done, when you start living with a new person, adjustments are inevitable. Yes, some refer to them as a compromise, but it depends on how you look at it.
While in an arranged marriage, it may sometimes feel like certain adjustments are being forced down on you, in a love marriage, you tend to take responsibility for everything, since you decided to be with this person in the first place.
However, expect slight “teething problems” in both scenarios because, well, marriage wasn’t meant to be easy in the first place!
In an arranged marriage it may feel like you need to prioritize others over yourself almost constantly, while in a love marriage, it may not feel so overwhelming, considering that there are lesser factors at play.
People tend to be self-sacrificial when it comes to partnerships, and when you don’t have a pre-existing equation with your spouse, you may find yourself with the shorter end of the stick much more often.
It’s important in both scenarios to make sure that you choose yours and your partner’s happiness first, after all, that’s the only thing that matters.
7. The Role Of Families
In love marriages, it’s often easier to get settled into the married life as there aren’t a lot of expectations of you from the family of your significant other. The decision-makers, in that respect, are you and your spouse, nobody else gets precedence.
In arranged marriages, things are different. As mentioned previously, an arranged marriage is like marrying an entire family, and as such, you’re expected to build and maintain relationships with all the immediate members of your significant other’s family, at the very minimum. If they happen to live in a large, joint family, things might get even more complicated!
Both experiences are very rewarding and have their own charm. However, it’s best to go in prepared!
What kind of marriage do you think you would opt for, now that you have read the pros and cons of both? Do you strongly agree or disagree with any of the points mentioned here? Let us know in the comments. And don’t forget to share this with your friends who you think might need to read this!