What To Look For In A Life Partner: 10 Important Things

Image: Shutterstock

Your partner is your person. They are the ones who will stand with you through good and bad and complement your perspective in life. So, ‘what to look for in a partner?’ is a commonly asked question in this context. We are here to help you answer that. No one in this world is perfect. Notwithstanding their flaws, everyone is beautiful in their own right. If you are on the lookout for that one perfect person, maybe you have set your hopes up too high. Your partner should understand you and love you, and so should you. The two of you should have an understanding that makes it easier for you to communicate even in the hardest of times. These are a few traits that you should look for in your partner. Read on to know more about things you should look for in your potential mate to have a healthy, happy, and long-lasting relationship.

What To Look For In A Partner

1. Look for emotional maturity

When a person is emotionally mature, they’re self-assured, independent, and do not shy away from commitment. They are willing to learn and think about themselves and open to reflect on the past and make progress in the present and future. Most importantly, an emotionally mature person thinks before they act and doesn’t let their emotions control their actions. They also recognize their flaws and accept yours with an open mind.

A mature partner has an even temper, does not rely on others for their happiness, can pursue their goals and advance in life, and doesn’t have a clouded view of themselves or the world around them. Moreover, they are not possessive or jealous.

2. Pick kindness, loyalty, and understanding over looks, status, and excitement

Interests, status, and looks can be significant catalysts for creating a spark and bringing a couple closer. But such traits can be temporary. It is best to seek someone who manifests evergreen qualities such as respect or kindness. You’ll see that you have a far more satisfying relationship when you choose characteristics like warmth and loyalty.

3. Look for a person who is constantly learning and growing

A long-term relationship is inspiring and beautiful. But, make no mistake; it comes with its own set of challenges.

Two humans staying together, regardless of their baggage, preferences, and quirks, day-in and day-out and year after year as they evolve, grow, and probably change, takes work and calls for a willingness to learn and grow.

Look for a partner who is ready to learn and grow during the course of your relationship, both individually and collectively.

4. Look for an emotionally available partner

Someone who is emotionally available is willing and ready to commit to a relationship with you in body, mind, and spirit.

An emotionally available person is an open book who does not shut down, even when you broach certain touchy topics. They do not become unreachable or distant. They will show you they care not merely with words but in actions, too.

When your partner isn’t afraid to openly and frankly discuss things with you, it’s a clear sign that they’re emotionally available.

5. Be with someone who isn’t afraid to face the tough side of life

As a couple, you have to face life and all the surprises it throws at you. And as you age, you will probably lose loved ones, grow ill, encounter changes in your body and mind, see each other as cranky, sad, miserable, irritable, and what not more than once.

Look for someone who is available not only when things are going well, but also when the going gets tough. Life is not a shiny and chock-a-block full of happiness; you need someone for the long-term, someone who is ready to stick by you through thick and thin.

6. Pick someone with similar life vision and values

It’s great to have a partner who enjoys cuddling with you in front of the TV and watching drama serials, but this isn’t the make-or-break stuff of a relationship; sharing similar visions and goals is.

If you share a relationship with someone whose values or beliefs are radically different from yours, it will make the partnership rocky.

Sure, you can work on the differences in life values and vision, but you set your relationship up for success by picking someone who shares a few or more of your primary goals and values. Sharing similar life goals and values is the number one predictor of a lasting relationship.

7. Go for someone who is a forgiver

Again, as stated earlier, relationships take a lot of effort and hard work. Along the way, both of you are likely to make a mistake or two, hurt each other, and mess up from time to time.

Therefore, look for someone who is a good forgiver. If, after you mess up, your partner can accept your apology and move past the arguments, you’re in excellent hands. Making mistakes is human nature and inevitable; it’s repair and the keenness to forgive and get back together that matter.

8. Choose someone who makes you laugh

“We don’t laugh because we’re happy, we are happy because we laugh.” — William James

Look for a partner who can make you laugh at them, at yourself, on the grumpy mornings, or at the ridiculousness of life.

Humor makes life feel better, and someone who can make you laugh can be a good lifelong partner and friend.

9. Look for someone who inspires you to be a better person

Your partner should ideally have strengths and weaknesses different from your own. You need someone who brings out and strengthens parts of you that you never knew existed. If you’re a daydreamer and live in your thoughts, find someone who can keep your feet firmly planted on the ground. Similarly, if you’re career-oriented, look for a partner who can add balance and pleasure to your life.

Tip: It’s not all about you. When you find that partner, think about your strengths and how you can help strengthen and enrich their life.

10. Look for honesty in a partner

In the initial stages of a relationship, it can be difficult to gauge integrity as most people put their best foot forward, but always watch for clues, learn from past experiences, and listen to your gut. The less trust you have, the weaker your bond. Look for someone who is open about how they feel and whose actions match their words.

Just think about it. Isn’t it better to be with a person who will tell you what’s on their mind, even if it is something hurtful, rather than creating an air of secrecy? Even if it’s difficult to digest the truth, it’s in your best interest to truly know your partner. Hiding things will only make you feel more insecure.

Now that you have a checklist of what to look for in a partner, we hope you find someone who matches your energy. Remember that everybody may not possess all the above traits. So, if you find someone who has most of the characteristics listed above, you may be looking at a potential partner. If they are sincere, loyal, emotionally mature, kind, forgiving, and seek to be in a long-term relationship with you, the lack of some other characteristics won’t make a difference in the long term.

Key Pointers

  • Look for a partner who accepts all versions of you and can love you unconditionally.
  • We are all beautiful in different ways, and the kindness and emotional maturity of a person enables them to identify it.
  • Make sure to choose someone who can stand up and face the best and worst times together with you.

The following two tabs change content below.

Ashley Baldwin

(Licensed Professional Counselor)
Ashley Baldwin is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) who specializes in Perinatal Health. After her Master's in Counseling, she did certifications in Perinatal Mental Health and is a Certified Addictions Counselor (CACII), with more than 13 years of counseling experience. She has been private practice since 2018.    Ashley has a passion for helping women during all of the seasons... more

Shikha Thakur

Shikha is a writer-turned-associate editor at MomJunction. Her core interest lies in writing articles that guide couples through their courtship to marriage and parenthood. She also specializes in baby names. Being a postgraduate in Human Resources, she likes understanding people and their relationships. This reflects in her relationship articles, where she deals with both the rosy and the grey side... more