12 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Is Ignoring You And What To Do

As an individual, it is not unusual for you to expect love, care, understanding, and support from your guy, and it can be heartbreaking when your boyfriend ignores you and gets unengaged with you. There could be many reasons for him giving you the go-by and you might be unable to wrap your head around it. But before taking any drastic decision, take a step back and try to assess the situation objectively. To help you clear your confusion and overcome the plight, we bring you some common reasons for your beau ignoring you. We also share some effective tips to help you deal with the situation.

In This Article

12 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Is Ignoring You

Knowing the exact reason behind your beau’s behavior will help you understand his state of mind and work towards making the relationship better.

1. He needs space

Everyone desires space in a relationship; nevertheless, the amount may vary for each person. Perhaps your man is not getting sufficient space for himself in the relationship, due to which he is giving you the cold shoulder and is unavailable.

2. He is facing challenges

Your beau could be fighting battles, be it psychological, financial, professional, or with his own family. Maybe he is hiding it from you to shield you, and you could be absolutely clueless about his predicament.

3. He is nervous

Your boyfriend is nervous, and so ignoring you

Image: Shutterstock

If you both entered into a relationship recently, possibly he still has butterflies in his stomach while talking to you or sharing something with you. He might be waiting to overcome the teething troubles and get into the zone.

protip_icon Do remember
Some men may have difficulty expressing their feelings openly. As a result, they might give you the cold shoulder because they do not know how to talk about their feelings.

4. He’s hurt

It could’ve happened that you inadvertently hurt him deeply, and he’s unable to come to terms with it. So, he could be refraining from expressing his pain to you as he might be afraid that could lead to further complications.

5. He is stonewalling you

Stonewalling is the silent treatment given in a relationship. It could be that he’s withholding important information from you and deliberately ignoring you. This manipulation tactic can have serious repercussions on the relationship. However, stonewalling is not always a manipulation tactic. Sometimes, it can be a biological reaction that causes people to shut down.

6. He is jealous

He is jealous of you

Image: Shutterstock

Guys sometimes express their envy by ignoring their partner. Your boyfriend could be jealous of your professional success or the attention you’re receiving, and he’s probably trying to vent his frustration in this manner.

7. He is cheating on you

It could be possible that he’s into someone else, and keeping you in the dark about it. However, it is better to make sure he’s actually cheating on you and also get your facts right before actually confronting him.

8. He is confused

Your man may not be as serious about this as you are and he doesn’t have clarity on where this is heading. He is probably sorting things out in his head and trying to take time, due to which he’s ignoring you.

protip_icon Quick tip
A common advice given to couples is to never go to bed angry. Even if you feel that the issue is trivial, try to sort it out before the end of the day.

9. He wants to unplug

He wants to unplug

Image: IStock

We’re living in a day and age where there is an overdose of social media and information, which could be overwhelming for some people. Your guy could be one of them and is staying away from the phone, which might be coming across to you as him being unattentive.

10. He is afraid of commitment

Some people fear commitment, making it difficult for them to stay in the relationship for very long. This fear may also prompt them to ignore their partner as they rethink their relationship. The thought of committing causes them anxiety, and they tend to push people away. If you observe such a pattern in your boyfriend where he avoids discussions about taking the relationship to the next level, he may have commitment issues.

11. He is avoiding conflict

If you have been getting into frequent fights or disagreements with your boyfriend, he may ignore you to avoid further conflict. Many people do not have a solution-oriented approach but choose to avoid the circumstances that disrupt their peace.

12. He wants to call it quits

Unfortunately, some people are not brave enough to admit that they want to break up, and he is perhaps using this technique to convey the message. Ignoring, giving cold replies and acting busy are some of the passive-aggressive tactics they use. Sometimes, people don’t feel unappreciated and acknowledged, so they shut down to avoid later disappointment.

What Should You Do When Your Boyfriend Ignores You?

It is not impossible to make your guy start caring for you again and shower you with all the love in the world. Following these steps can help you rekindle the romance when you think your boyfriend is disinterested.

1. Communicate your concerns to him

Communicate your concerns

Image: Shutterstock

Sometimes you may be confused about what to say to your boyfriend when he ignores you. Try to be forthright about what you feel and openly communicate the issues you’re facing. Being truthful and honest can help both of you iron out your differences and also help him open up.

2. Take a break

If you are finding it difficult to digest that your beau is neglecting you and feel that you need a break from the relationship, it’s absolutely fine. This is beneficial for both of you in the long run, but make it clear to him that you need some time.

protip_icon Be watchful
Many mistake taking a break for breaking up. So talk clearly with your partner about what your expectations are before taking a break.

3. Seek the support of friends

Seek support of your friends

Image: IStock

You can ask for support from your mutual friends or anyone you both are comfortable with to get a better picture of why he’s behaving that way. This can be helpful as sometimes people who know you closely can actually pinpoint why your boyfriend is uncommunicative.

4. Go to a counselor

You and your guy can also go for couple’s counseling, where you can pour your hearts out individually and also together. Visit a licensed professional who can look at things objectively and help rebuild your relationship.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Can ignoring each other benefit a relationship in some cases?

If you have more fights and disagreements, taking time apart from each other might help, provided that both of you have agreed to take some time away and return to the relationship. However, if you’re ignoring your partner without any explanation, it will not benefit your relationship in any way.

2. How can I effectively communicate with my boyfriend if he ignores me?

If you think your boyfriend is ignoring you, try to give him some space but make sure he knows you are there for him when he is ready to talk. Do not bombard him with too many messages or try to have a conversation forcefully. Express your worries about him being distant calmly and honestly, and listen actively when he is ready to talk without jumping to conclusions.

3. Is it ever okay for a boyfriend to ignore his girlfriend without explanation?

No, it is not okay for a boyfriend to ignore his girlfriend without explanation. It can cause confusion, hurt, and mistrust. Just the way the writer of the blog ‘Thoughts of a simpleton ~ Questions to the universe’ felt when her boyfriend started ignoring her for no reason. She says, “I feel sad he’s neglecting me and it really hurts to be ignored and be treated like a nobody, when I am attending his parties as his gf. He treats me very well – when we’re alone. I just don’t know how I can accept that he ignores me when he’s in the presence of his friends. He literally abandons me and disappears, then comes back to see me twice during a 5 hour period to “see if I’m okay” for a couple minutes. I don’t know why I need to persuade him to care about how I feel. I know he knows how I feel. He texted me the next day saying he could guess that I was upset at his drinking and neglecting me (his own words). He just truly doesn’t care how I feel and assumes I should be a great gf and just very understanding (i).” So, talk honestly about what is happening and why he is withdrawing from the relationship and appearing uninterested.

4. How can I tell if my boyfriend is ignoring me or busy with other things?

It can be difficult to differentiate if your boyfriend is actually ignoring you or just busy with other things. If your boyfriend is not replying to your texts or calls for a longer time, it could be a telltale sign that he is ignoring you. But if his work schedule and other personal issues keep him away and unreachable, a calm approach and an honest conversation can let you know the answer.

Mutual understanding, trust, communication, and patience are the cornerstones of any relationship. So, when your boyfriend ignores or is unresponsive to you, try to share your pain and frustration and make him understand your suffering. Both of you can work together to find common ground and try to resolve issues, and bring your love life back on track. If you don’t find a noticeable change in his behavior despite making all your efforts to save the relationship, it is better to move on. However, make sure you leave no stone unturned before parting ways.

Infographic: How To Respond If Your Boyfriend Is Ignoring You

Your boyfriend might ignore you for different reasons, from a simple misunderstanding to his problems. But whatever the cause is, it’s normal to feel upset, angry, and unsure of how to respond. The infographic below offers some valuable suggestions you might consider in this situation. Take a look!

ways to respond when your beau ignores you (infographic)

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Key Pointers

  • In a relationship, partners normally expect attention from each other.
  • If you feel ignored by your boyfriend, it’s important to identify the reasons behind his behavior and take appropriate action.
  • Common reasons for this behavior include nervousness, jealousy, confusion, and wanting to end the relationship.
  • To resolve the issues, communicating with your partner, taking a break, seeking counseling, and finding support can be helpful.
Why Your Boyfriend Is Ignoring You_illustration

Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team

Feeling ignored by a man? Do you need to worry? Find out what he’s thinking and why he’s ignoring you. Get the answers you need to move forward in your relationship.

Personal Experience: Source

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Jessica Jefferson
Jessica JeffersonMA, MS, LMFT
Jessica Jefferson is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a certified perinatal mental health professional who is trained to help clients suffering from mental health disorders like anxiety and depression. She graduated with a Bachelors in Psychology from the University of Miami, a Masters in Psychology in Education from Teachers College, Columbia University and a Masters in Family Therapy from Nova Southeastern University.

Read full bio of Jessica Jefferson
Siddharth Kesiraju
Siddharth KesirajuMA, Certification in Relationship Coaching
Siddharth holds a certification in Relationship Coaching and a masters degree in communication and journalism from the University of Hyderabad. He has around seven years of experience in various fields of writing and editing.

Read full bio of Siddharth Kesiraju
Shikha is a writer-turned-editor at MomJunction, with over seven years of experience in the field of content. Having done a certification in Relationship Coaching, her core interest lies in writing articles that guide couples through their courtship to marriage and parenthood.

Read full bio of Shikha Thakur
Benidamika holds a masters degree in Counseling Psychology from Assam Don Bosco University and another masters degree in English Literature from North Eastern Hill University. At MomJunction, Benidamika writes on human psychology and relationships.

Read full bio of Benidamika J Latam