You were dating a new guy. Everything was going well, but one day, he suddenly disappears. Does this sound familiar? Such behavior is called ghosting. The unpredictability of it can be shocking and hurtful. You don’t know what warranted such awful action, and you keep waiting for a closure that might never come.
Why do guys resort to ghosting? Why do they not explain and end things properly? If you are one of the many women looking for answers to these burning questions, this post is for you. Here, we share a few reasons why guys choose to ghost and give you a few tips to get over the painful phase.
10 Reasons Why Guys Ghost
Guys may resort to ghosting due to several reasons. Here are a few common ones.
1. He is not ready for a serious commitment
Not all guys look for a serious relationship when they start dating a girl. Some may want to have a no strings attached or casual relationship. However, the girl may not be on the same page and might fall for the guy. The guy may want to avoid any drama, and so they would try to move away from the situation as fast as possible. Since they are not emotionally attached to the girl, they do not care about her feelings.
2. He is interested in multiple women
Some guys keep their options open and talk to multiple women at the same time. They want to have fun and not commit to one. If you get too involved with such a man and expect promises, he would vanish and move on to the other prospects.
He wouldn’t tell you why, as he might come to you after getting rejected by other women. Avoid giving such men a second chance.
3. He is facing personal crises
Personal issues can crop up anytime and could affect one’s mental capacity. It could be a death or illness in the family or a sudden financial crisis. If a man is going through such a situation, the issue at hand takes priority over anything in their life. If you have started dating, he might probably hide the problem from you and choose to ghost you.
4. He is not what he portrays
When you meet someone new and go on a date, you try to impress them. There is nothing wrong with showing your best version, but some people could take it a little too far. To impress the girl, they tend to brag and lie, trying to be someone they are not. They might fake that they are super rich or popular or even hide their shady past. If you are dating such a man and express the desire to meet their friends and family, they might try to avoid the awkward situation and disappear.
5. He is immature
A breakup is never easy. It might have unpleasant implications such as disbelief, agony, anger, or bitterness. Some men may not want to experience these. They lack the courage and compassion to face the consequences and give a valid reason. So, they choose to run away, hoping that the issues will disappear.
6. He feels threatened or suffocated
Sometimes, it takes more than a few dates to understand a person. The girl might seem nice initially but later display emotional outbursts, temper tantrums, controlling behavior, or clinginess. Such behavior might make the guy feel suffocated and hurt his mental health. He might finally vanish from sight without sharing his feelings.
7. He was taking advantage of you
It might sound heart-breaking and harsh, but it happens. Some men tend to use women for their benefit and get involved with an objective in mind. It can be financial gain, sexual gratification, professional growth, social status, or even fame. Once they achieve their objective, they will walk away without looking back.
8. He has certain mental and emotional issues
Our circumstances and experiences play a huge part in shaping our mental make-up. Certain unfortunate incidents make people lose faith in commitments. Men who were abandoned as children are afraid to get into relationships because they fear being cast-off again.
Not having a stable home as a child due to divorced parents can also make it difficult for some to form attachments. They try to stay emotionally distant to avoid getting hurt. Hence, the moment they find themselves getting too involved, they may freak out and ghost you.
9. He has different expectations
When two people are dating, they have certain expectations from the relationship. If the expectations of the two are not in sync, it can lead to problems. Some guys want to get intimate early on, while some prefer waiting. Such differences in opinions might make the guy feel dissatisfied.
In such a scenario, while the girl might think things are progressing well, the guy might feel otherwise. If he sees no future and does not want to take the breakup route, he might ghost you.
10. He thinks there is no chemistry
Some men expect instant fireworks as they start dating. They lack the patience for the chemistry to develop. If these men don’t feel the chemistry, they may write the relationship off. They do not believe in wasting any efforts and hence choose to disappear without breaking up.
What To Do When A Guy Ghosts You?
Dealing with ghosting can be difficult. Here are few things you can do to get over this heartbreak.
1. Be sure about it
Not replying for a few hours doesn’t mean he has ghosted you. Wait for some time before coming to a conclusion. People often get busy with work commitments, travel, or personal issues and cannot reply. Giving it some time will clear all doubts in your mind. You can decide a timeline for the wait. Give him a few days. During this period, avoid bombarding him with messages or calls. After the deadline is crossed, try to move on.
2. Take a decision
Even if the guy has ghosted you, there is a chance he might try to come back in the future. You need to figure out what to do next. Would you give him a second chance? It is essential to make up your mind. Your actions will have lasting consequences. If you decide to accept him, there is a possibility that he might hurt you again. Weigh all the pros and cons before making a final decision.
3. Communicate your feelings
While it is not advisable to text someone who disappeared, certain situations warrant firm feedback. If the guy ghosted you even when everything seemed well, he needs to know the implications of his actions. Text him, and let him know how you feel; don’t vent, call him names, or beg him to come back. Avoid harboring any false expectations of his return. Send him a message to make him realize his mistake so that he doesn’t repeat the behavior with some other girl.
4. Cut off all contact
If you have decided to move on, you need to break contact. Delete his number, email, chats, and photos and videos from your phone. Unfollow and block him on all the social media platforms.
5. Don’t take it to heart
Being ghosted by a guy might feel humiliating if you had developed feelings for him. But don’t let it affect your self-confidence and self-worth. The problem lies with him and not you, so don’t take it to heart.
6. Avoid pining for him
The guy left you without any explanation, disregarding your feelings. He selfishly took an easy way out. Such men rarely come back, and even if they do, it is usually for their benefit and not because they care. It is in your best interest to avoid pining for him. Take it as a lesson and don’t look back.
7. Allow yourself to be happy
It is natural to feel distressed if a guy you liked ghosted you. But don’t let this setback control your happiness. You deserve to lead a joyful and fulfilled life. Start slow. Seek out small joys in life, do things you love, and pamper yourself. Maintain your physical health, focusing on diet and exercise. Recover mentally by talking to people close to you or meditating. Take your time to heal.
8. Start dating again
One bad experience doesn’t mean the entire dating pool is bad. There are good men out there. So slowly but surely, start dating again. It doesn’t have to be serious. Just start talking to people again and see where it leads. It might be hard to open your heart and trust again, but you will heal over time. Getting back in the game would help you come out of your dark thoughts and help you move forward. So, open your dating app and start swiping right again.
Being ghosted can hit you hard, making you feel dejected. We hope the reasons given above help you get the much-needed closure. It is important to remember that ghosting reflects the guy’s irresponsible behavior, not your flaws. So, do not blame yourself, and keep moving forward. Dating is a hit and miss process, but what matters is to keep at it and have fun. You never know your dream guy might be just around the corner.