21 Reasons He Isn't Texting You And What To Do About It

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IN THIS ARTICLE

When you come across a genuinely nice guy and begin texting him, even a short gap between messages could make you think, why isn’t he texting me? Well, in the initial stages of dating, the two of you might hit it off very well, but unexpectedly, things may catch a slower pace, and his responses to your messages may take longer than you expect. So, naturally, you may start to panic and jump to conclusions.

However, relax, sit back and think it through before you have intense thoughts that could take a drastic turn. Maybe you are moving too fast, or there could be some genuine reasons, or he might just be ignoring you. Read on as we explore credible reasons he could not be texting you back and some valuable tips on proceeding further.

21 Reasons He Isn’t Texting You

His reasons for not texting you could be aplenty. Perhaps you are guilty of coming too strong, or it was just a fling. Let’s uncover the reasons.

1. He has become comfortable with you

Now that you know each other, he doesn’t feel the need to message you constantly. He’s comfortable with you. Knowing that you have an interest in him, he now feels he can slow down a bit.

2. He is busy with other stuff

Perhaps his life has suddenly become busier with client meetings and deadlines at work. Or maybe his parents and friends are in town. If you see him online, and he does not reply to your messages, do not go bonkers, as he might be online, working on an important project.

3. He can focus only on one thing

He may not be good at multitasking, and he might be busy with some work. He has a different priority at the moment, and thus, he can’t text you.

4. He’s with his buddies

When he’s out with his friends, he may not want them to know that he’s obsessed with you, and so, he might decide to wait until he’s back home to reply to your messages. Sometimes, men need their “guy time,” and it’s fair you let them chill over video games or a game of soccer without getting jealous.

5. He needs some “me time”

After a hard day, men like to unwind by hitting the gym or just going for a run so that they can re-energize and refresh. It is important you respect his “me time,” just as you would want him to respect yours.

6. Your texts could be overwhelming him

If you text him non-stop every day, he will not be able to keep up. You can’t expect him to deal with your barrage of messages, especially if they are lengthy and you send them while he’s at work.

7. He feels you are inquisitive

Although your questions may be intended to get to know him better, he might not get the intention. If he feels your questions invade his privacy, especially in the early days of your relationship, he might stop answering your texts altogether.

8. He doesn’t have the right words

He just can’t find suitable words to express himself. Perhaps he isn’t great at expressing his feelings and emotions. If things are tense, he may need time to collect his thoughts and find the right words. Give him some time.

9. It slipped his memory

He could have genuinely forgotten to reply to your text. Perhaps he was in the middle of something when you messaged him and thought he would reply later. Of course, if this occurs frequently, it’s a sign he’s not interested.

10. He communicates only for a reason

For some, texting for no reason makes no sense. They usually communicate to make a plan. Back and forth texts that don’t have a purpose do not find a place on their things-to-do list. For you, texting may be a way of staying connected, but he may not see it that way.

11. He feels you are desperate

Your man might be more attracted to women who are slightly disinterested or mysterious. So if you text him too often, you might appear as too keen or desperate to him. In this case, not replying to your texts is his way of saying he’s not interested.

13. He’s playing hard to get

He might be playing it cool, especially if your relationship is in the initial stages. He may not want to show his feelings right away, so he won’t text you back immediately. It doesn’t mean he is not interested; he wants to know how you feel about him.

14. He doesn’t want to lead you on

Perhaps he is mindful of your feelings. Until he is sure about where the relationship is heading, he may not want to give you the wrong impression that he is totally into you. He may reply to your texts occasionally to be polite. If this goes on for too long, it’s best to ask him outright.

15. Your messages are dull

He wants to engage in meaningful and deep conversations with you. Your good looks may not hold his attention for too long. So, you need to have interesting things to discuss and engage him in conversation.

16. He is not sure about how you feel

In the initial stages of your relationship, it may be difficult for him to judge your level of interest and how you feel about him. So, he may hold back in the hope that you will reach out.

17. You might have offended him

You may have hurt his feelings unintentionally. Your behavior or his misinterpretation of your message could be the reason for the change in his behavior. It could be something you wrote that he misconstrued. Revisit your previous messages or ask him if you have said or done something that has hurt him.

18. He might be two-timing you

The guy might be looking for a fling. He might have someone else with whom he is flirting. For him, you are just another option.

19. He’s hates texting

It may seem strange to you, but it is possible. Maybe he is someone who switches his mobile off for hours or ignores the beeps. For him, texting is not high up on his list of priorities, and he prefers calling you or talking to you in person

20. The timing is wrong

He has something going on in his life that is holding him back from prioritizing the relationship. Things could have seemed right on your first few dates, but if he suddenly stops texting, perhaps he has personal issues that are preventing him from committing.

21. He’s not interested in you

This is the biggest worry any girl can have. Unfortunately, it can be one of the reasons he’s not texting you. He just isn’t interested in you. The best thing you can do here is to let go and move on.

What To Do When He Doesn’t Text You

When a guy stops texting you, it doesn’t mean your relationship is done and he’s not into you. One top option is to make a call to be certain and resolve the mystery. Maybe he lost his mobile phone or lost his saved phone number list. Read on as we give you a few more tips on what you can do when he doesn’t text you.

1. Reach out

Send him a casual text. Don’t ask him why he hasn’t messaged you, and don’t tell him you miss him. This text has to let him know that you care enough to check if he’s okay and still interested in you. If he replies and gives a solid reason, then all’s well, but if he doesn’t reply, it’s time to move on.

2. Cut him some slack

Pull yourself together and give him some space. Don’t bombard him with many messages and show him you are needy and dependent on him. Play the waiting game and be patient. If you are quiet, he will realize he misses your presence in his life, and you might just make him jealous enough to wonder what or who you are occupied with.

3. Call him

Sometimes, it’s easier to say what you want to say in an actual conversation rather than a message. So it may make sense to pick up the phone and give him a call. It could make things easier for him.

4. Stop complaining

When he texts you, don’t tell him you miss him and that he should message you more often. Try not to put constraints on his life and demand his attention.

5. Pay attention to yourself

All this time, you have been obsessing about him and your relationship with him. It is now time to focus on yourself. Get on with your life, take up hobbies, and enjoy some time with your friends who you may not have met for a long time. You don’t need someone who is not interested in you to make your life happy.

When your guy doesn’t call or text for long, you may feel sad and hurt. But try to understand that there could be several reasons why he isn’t texting you. However, how you deal with this situation depends on you. You can either reach him and try to understand the reason or give him some time and space to reach back to you. However, if he doesn’t respond to you even after trying to do whatever best you could do to connect with him, maybe it’s time you should consider moving on.

Key Pointers

  • The reasons for him not texting you may be far from what you think.
  • He may be short of words, unsure of progressing in the relationship, or simply busy.
  • Be it for any reason, you can allow him some space or call him to ease things out.

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Dr. Carlos Juan Carmona-Goyena

(PhD (Counseling Psychology))
Dr. Carlos Juan Carmona-Goyena is a board licensed therapist in the USA and Puerto Rico with a specialty in couples, families, and relationships. Dr. Carlos possesses a PhD in Counseling Psychology granted at the Interamerican University of Puerto Rico. His two-decade professional experience also includes scientific research in family emotional and relational processes and its effect on psychological functioning. Dr.... more

Rohan Sinha

Rohan was an HR analyst before transitioning into a freelance writer/ editor. He holds a bachelor’s degree in Business Administration with a specialization in Human Resources and previously worked as an analyst in Goldman Sachs. Having also worked in a media and post-production firm, he has special interest in films. Rohan is an avid reader with a passion for defense,... more