Will I Ever Find Love: 34 Things You Need To Remember

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A common philosophical and existential question that weighs on every single person’s mind is, “Will I ever find love?” If you find yourself asking this question often, remember that you are not alone.

It’s easy to lose sight of how wonderful and coincidental life can be, which means you can meet the right person anywhere, any time. However, if you feel particularly lonely, there are some things you need to remember that will fill your heart with renewed hope. Keep reading to find the light at the end of the tunnel.

Will I Ever Find Love: 34 Things To Remember

A little optimism goes a long way, so light that tiny spark of hope inside your heart and believe that you will find love again.

1. Do not think it is too late to find love

Some people experience a sense of hopelessness, thinking they won’t find love, but that’s not true. If it takes time for you to find someone you truly connect with, then let the universe do its work. Don’t feel pressured by seeing your friends in relationships because love is beautiful, and it takes time to bloom, so have patience.

2. Do not treat love as a game of strategy

You cannot strategize and plan out who you fall in love with. For instance, if you are in school or college and think it is the right time to find love, you are wrong. But, if you do end up liking someone and you both have compatibility, then go for it.

3. Have patience

If you are constantly searching for people with whom you can connect well, it shows you lack patience. You need to let things progress naturally without trying so hard. Yes, it might be easier said than done, but having patience is of utmost importance to find true love.

4. Do not think love to be magic

Many people think their life will get infinitely better if they have a partner – that is a bad idea to have. If you are unhappy and depressed, then your partner cannot magically solve your problems. They can only help you out. So, don’t treat love as a magical solution for every problem. It truly demeans the beauty it holds.

5. Stop being so pessimistic

When you see someone grow and thrive, it is quite natural to feel sad or resentful. It, in turn, makes you feel pessimistic and dejected. Such negative emotions may affect your mental health, making you feel even hopeless. It’s time to stop and convince yourself that things will get better, you will find love, just in due time.

6. Don’t live in a fantasy world

It is important to address the fact that you might be living in a fantasy world. Do not assume your partner to be perfect. You will find true happiness when you shed these imaginative thoughts and focus on reality by accepting a person’s imperfections.

7. Don’t keep unrealistic expectations

If you have met someone who remains quite busy at work, you can’t expect them to call or text you a hundred times a day. It is important to give them space and let them get back to you. If you are thinking about a long-term relationship that eventually leads to marriage, then they might be working hard to save money to keep you happy. So, you mustn’t have other-worldly expectations from your partner. This way, you may find true love.

8. Take a break

“We accept the love we think we deserve,” remember the quote from “Perks Of Being A Wallflower?” When you think of yourself as less deserving, you tend to choose a partner that remains emotionally unavailable to you. If you had unsatisfying relationships with your previous partners, take a break. Understand your needs and have a little patience. It will bring you good luck.

9. Go with the flow

If you think that no one likes you or isn’t flirting with you, then you might not be noticing the signs. If you are out in a club or at a bar and if someone comes up to you to have a nice chat, then do not overlook it. You might end up exchanging numbers and become friends.

10. Don’t lose hope

If you meet someone and you like them, but they are emotionally unavailable, it is better to move away. Such people won’t be ready for commitment even when you are. Don’t get disheartened. Convince yourself that maybe this was never meant to be, and move on.

11. Fulfil your personal needs

If you are looking for love, don’t confuse it with finding someone who will act as your free therapist. Many people tend to find “love” in the hopes of feeling less lonely, which is exactly the kind of attitude that must be discouraged. You must find happiness within yourself before you find a partner.

12. Stop overthinking

Don’t overthink about situations that are yet to happen. It drains your energy over time, making you lose the will to go out and meet your potential partner as you think the relationship won’t last long. The more you do it, you will lose your creativity, thereby clouding your judgment.

13. Come out of the past

Maybe you have had terrible luck when it comes to love in the past, and you’re still thinking about it. You have to let go because there’s no point in sulking over something that has long gone. Instead, focus on what you have right now. Remember what Master Oogway said to Po? “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called present.”

14. Don’t indulge in psychological games

A game of cat and mouse is all fun and games until it becomes messy and starts hurting someone in a relationship. If you’re provoking jealousy in someone or leading them on for no good reason, then it is of no good at all. Moreover, mind games like these are only proof that you cannot handle the intense feelings that love brings.

15. Don’t force the wrong person to be your soulmate

If a person is not compatible with you, then there is no point in chasing them. You can’t make a round hole fit a square peg. Forcing love with the person you aren’t meant to be with will lead to disappointment and a whole lot of mess.

16. Understand, there’s no right age to find love

If you feel that you have become too old to find love, you are wrong. If your past relationships have failed you, it does not mean you know what the future holds. Moreover, the older you become, the wiser you get, so you might as well find someone nice with whom you can settle.

17. Trust yourself

Trusting yourself is important, it helps you to build confidence besides letting you put your trust in other people. Put some effort, introspect on your thoughts, and don’t forget to practice self-love.

18. Accept yourself

With each passing day, accept that you are evolving. There’s no need to worry because you are understanding yourself a little better today than you did yesterday. You will figure out what your needs are and what you want from your long-term partner. With your growth and understanding, you will know what decisions are right and what might harm you in the future.

19. Don’t compare yourself to others

You might congratulate your friends when they find the “perfect” person, but as soon as you are alone, you start sulking, thinking you didn’t find any. Comparing yourself to others won’t get you anywhere, so get rid of those thoughts and focus on improving yourself.

20. Open up to people

If you have opened up to people in the past and all you have got is betrayal, then it is quite normal to be hesitant now. But here’s the thing, you have to let go of the feeling of being scared that you will get betrayed. Not everyone is out there to harm you;some want you to feel good too. Take your time and open up slowly. Show trust because, without it, a relationship becomes obsolete.

21. Don’t look for your ex

To find your love, stop trying to find someone like your ex in your present partner. Everyone is different, but if you are bound to make yourself sad if you go into a relationship without getting over your previous relationship. So, take your time and heal from your past relationships before finding love again.

22. Don’t consider physical attractiveness

The way you present yourself is important, but do not solely think that physical attractiveness equals love. Beating yourself up for not looking a certain way is something you don’t want in your life.

23. Don’t think you are undeserving

If you think you don’t deserve love, then break your bubble as you are wrong. Every person in this world, including you, deserves love. Get over this deleterious idea in your mind and focus on meeting new people and connecting with them. Who knows, the person you fall in love with might be living next door? The endless possibilities are quite thrilling.

24. Increase the chances of finding love

Love will not come knocking on your door one day, you have to go out and meet new people for it to happen. Socialize, or go out to a cafe or a bar, you never know who you might meet. If you are working somewhere or go to the gym regularly, talk to people you like, increasing your chances of finding love. Sitting at home without doing anything won’t bring any result, you got to work for it.

25. Seek help from loved ones

If you have got friends and family members who want to set you up with their mutual friends on a date, let them do it. Many people end up in happy relationships with people they met through their friends. Don’t stop your loved ones from helping you as they want to see you happy.

26. Shape your life

The decisions that you take have the power to shape your life. Don’t ponder too much on self-criticism and self-derogatory comments because how you see yourself affects your mental health. Of course, you are no fortune teller who can predict the outcomes of the decisions that you take. But no matter what, it is essential to focus on the good.

27. Don’t let fear get the worst of you

If you have come this far into reading this post, you are quite fearful of never finding love. What’s stopping you? Is it the fear of betrayal and trust or the fear of not finding the right one? Remember, these are all thoughts that are being produced by your mind, so they are not real.

28. Don’t think that it’s the end of the world

If you think that this is the end and you will never find love, hold that thought. Have you had a look into your future? No, right? You are yet to meet so many new people and experience new things that might be life-changing. Love has a funny way of finding people in the most unexpected times, so sit back and relax and let the universe do its work.

29. Don’t be selfish

There is no harm in thinking about yourself, taking care of yourself, and looking after your needs. But when you end up thinking only about your needs, it leads to an inflated ego, causing you to disregard the experiences and needs of others. Every person has a different need from a relationship, so it is important to understand them as well.

30. Have room for romance in your schedule

Are you too busy with your tightly packed schedule? You do not even have any time to make room for a short date on the weekends. You are either too busy with work or giving time to your friends and family that you don’t feel like incorporating anything else. Make some space in your life for a partner, take time to connect with people who you meet, and help yourself find love.

31. Don’t be old-fashioned

With technology taking over everyone’s lives, it is crucial to stay up to date with dating apps and online sites that allow the opportunity to meet and date new people. Of course, dating sites may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but if you completely disregard them, you end up missing some amazing opportunities.

32. Don’t close the door of your heart

If you are constantly seeing problems in other’s love lives, you might be hesitant and fearful seeing the bad experiences they have had. You slam shut your heart’s door when it comes to love. Remember that as much as you might be focusing on the negatives, there are tons of positives you might be missing out on.

33. Don’t become acquiescent

Believing that love will come to you when you least expect it is good, but a majority of the people tend to misunderstand it. Sitting back and letting love “hit” you when the time is right is not a good mentality to have when you want it.

34. Don’t repeat the mistakes from your past

When you tend to get stuck in a pattern of your past mistakes, it leads to disasters. Not every relationship is perfect, but you can find someone who makes you happy. Having a traumatic past is scarring for anyone, no matter how much you try to move on, it always catches up to you, making you emotionally unavailable to people. You can keep a journal for it, but understand that your past traumas won’t get repeated, so love with an open heart.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What are the chances that I’ll find love?

Finding or not finding love is not always in your control. While you can find a person and be in a committed relationship, falling in love is not a choice but a natural experience. So work on yourself, remain hopeful, and you will find the right person at the right time.

2. What is the fear of never finding love called?

There is no term for fear of never finding love. On the other hand, the fear of falling in love is called “philophobia”. Both these conditions can be associated with a traumatic childhood, and complex past relationships.

Finding the right person for you may take time and happen quite unexpectedly. However, ensuring that you concentrate on yourself, do not set unrealistic expectations, and do not force the wrong person to be your companion are some things you should remember during this time. It will also help if you let go of the past and work towards making your future better. Then, when the time is right, the right kind of love will find you in a unique and memorable way.

Key Pointers

  • To find love, be optimistic, have patience, and stop keeping unrealistic expectations.
  • Take a break and focus on your needs before getting involved in a relationship.
  • Accept yourself, have trust, and go with the flow to find a partner who truly deserves you.

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Shikha Thakur

Shikha is a writer-turned-associate editor at MomJunction. Having done a certification in Relationship Coaching, her core interest lies in writing articles that guide couples through their courtship to marriage and parenthood. She also specializes in baby names. Being a postgraduate in Human Resources from Jawaharlal Nehru Technological University, she likes understanding people and their relationships. This reflects in her relationship... more

Ashley Cairns

Ashley Cairns is the CEO of A Change for Better (ACFB) and a mental health counsellor working in New Zealand. Originally from New York, Ashley has worked professionally in the US, Canada, and New Zealand, helping those suffering from anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. Ashley holds professional memberships in the American Counseling Association (ACA) and the Australia &... more