As widely discussed as it is, motherhood has its fair share of misconceptions. People often tend to generalize the journey of motherhood and love clubbing everyone in the same box. But, what we fail to understand is that just like every woman is different, every mother is too, and so is their journey of motherhood.
This may come as a newsflash to some, but having a child is not on the priority list of many women, and maternal instinct is not something that is naturally ingrained in every woman. And believe it or not, not every woman grows up dreaming of being a mother and tending to her family’s needs.
Motherhood is a beautiful journey, but it also comes with many speed bumps along the way. So, as much as we like to paint a pretty picture, being a mother is challenging and does not guarantee happiness. Even when women talk about the sacrifices made in this journey, they are often quick to say that it was “all worth it”. Because no mother wants the world to perceive her as a bad mom every time she talks about the struggle she endured along the way.
Whether it is the unpleasant symptoms of pregnancy such as nausea and body aches; the excessive hair growth, acne, stretch marks, and loose skin after giving birth, or the pain caused by childbirth and the sleepless nights during postpartum, women are not allowed to vent and are expected to be okay with everything. Continue reading our post if just like everyone else, you have been clueless about certain things about motherhood and are curious to know about the five assumptions we all make about new mothers that may be wrong.
1. All Mothers Instantly Fall In Love With Their Little Ones
Whether it is your friend, relative, or your favorite celebrity, we often hear women describe the instant love they feel as soon as they gaze upon their baby. After all, who could resist falling in love with their adorable squishy face and tiny hands and feet? Well, as it turns out, not everyone!
Mothers from our MomJunction community reveal that they felt nothing when they first gazed upon their newborn. One mother said that her baby’s wrinkly face and tiny features with a white waxy coating made him look like an alien creature, and it was not instant love at all. Others say that the experience of childbirth and labor was so overwhelming and painful, and they were dealing with their own demons and baby blues that it took a while to love their baby more than themselves.
2. Mothers Are Happy All The Time
It’s easy to assume someone is living a perfect life judging by the Instagram photos and the Christmas newsletter of the whole family dressed in matching outfits. But just like everything else in life, motherhood also has its ups and downs. The constant cries, sleepless nights, never-ending responsibilities, and toddler tantrums are certainly not the high points of motherhood. Not everybody is over the moon about their new life. New moms also struggle with body image issues as it might be hard for them to accept their body with all the changes that it has gone through and knowing they might never be able to get their old body back.
So, if you have a friend or family member who is adjusting to this new role, take your time to spend time with them and lend them a helping hand if you can. They need all the help they can get and would definitely appreciate the gesture on your part.
3. All Mothers Are Obsessed With Their Little Ones
Unlike what pop culture would have you believe, mothers are not obsessed with their babies. There are a lot of things new moms are interested in talking about besides their baby’s milestones or the color of their poop, for that matter. In fact, some mothers prefer not talking about their babies as they crave adult conversations and intellectual discussions more than baby stuff. No matter how much they love their precious little ones, mothers sometimes need a break from their role as caretakers and even from their kids.
If you’ve got a mom friend, instead of assuming that she would spend all her time with her baby, extend the courtesy of checking if she would be interested in a girls’ night out or for a lunch or movie date. You could even arrange for babysitting so that she gets some baby-free time.
4. Mothers Always Know What They Are Doing
We are all familiar with the phrase “mom knows best.” And though it may hold true most of the time, sometimes a mother might be struggling, especially if it’s her first time being a mom. Being a mother doesn’t mean she always knows what’s best for her baby. Sometimes, she needs a little guidance and support. The notion that all moms know what they are doing is putting unnecessary pressure on her when raising a baby. Motherhood is all about trial and error and learning things along the way.
5. Now That She Is A Mom, She Will Never Be “Cool” Again
Yes, motherhood brings about a drastic change in any woman’s life. The first few years are going to be tough, and it will take a while to balance the work and social life amidst managing the responsibilities of motherhood. But that doesn’t mean that she will remain housebound with no active social life at all. And it certainly doesn’t mean that she will never be “cool” again.
Being a mother is challenging enough as it is, and with myths like these still prevailing in our society, women are put under undue pressure to fit the assumptions that we have upon them.
We hope our article helped bust some myths about motherhood. What are some of the assumptions that you have heard people make about motherhood? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.