You Have Every Reason To Be An A**hole When Pregnant. Here's Why

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To all those women out there who have not been a mother yet – just don’t be taken for a ride with easy pregnancy claims of your friends. This woman I remember said how easy it was to deliver her child in ‘just’ three hours of labor. Ask women to shut up because even three hours of trauma don’t sound like music to our ears. Either it’s bringing on sarcasm on your road to motherhood, or she has just gone insane with the horrifics of childbirth.

For the C-section moms who see their surgeries as God’s intervention in keeping them out of the pains of labor, and sweat and the toil that goes into it, then you too are wrong. Don’t tell us that you didn’t visit a gynec who did not poke you inside with her fingers as you lay there like an undignified mound. The worse is you can’t resist because you aren’t being violated. Don’t tell us you had a whale of time through your doc visits or with the dieticians whose ranting about puffed rice brought up your gags.

The reality is that the moment you conceive, you body starts working on making the necessary changes to accommodate the new tenant in your body, prepare the tissues for the stretch, the wear and tear, and keep your hormones on the go. Surprisingly you never knew your body could grow out be such a balloon making you feel so out of proportion that you feel the most distorted caricatures look more near perfect than you. You would waddle like a hapless duck. You would peek into the mirror and wonder if it is the very same you, often worrying over whether you will regain your shape after all these months of hosting and nurturing the deserving little treasure. You may find yourself growing into an ugly duckling. But when you think about the result in a few month’s time, you gather some patience but don’t know how hard you have to work your way through it. You will be up at unearthly hours preparing a snack all for yourself. Plus the number of times you have to make your washroom visits. Plus being gassy and having the urge to expel it all in public (you least care for the courtesies this time around). Not to forget the gags you have on and off. And not to forget that you will pass out even before you can get a glimpse of your secret hunk on your favorite soap.

So what’s so beautiful about pregnancy? I guess, not even chunks of it sound any appealing! But it can give a good reason to be yourself or speak your mind out like a drunk hootie, It’s also the time when you want to be plain about your thoughts and feelings, be blatant if you feel like, call a spade a spade – because you are pregnant, you are most likely to have an excuse to get away with anything really. So if you always wanted to learn to say ‘no,’ then this is the best time to do so even without having to ‘learn’ it! Honestly, it all comes out so easy. You don’t have to program yourself into saying no to a thing that you don’t want to do. And hell, people just seem to be so kind and sympathetic even if your condition wasn’t that pathetic! You could skip a meeting or skip a function and still not be labeled a boycott. Woah! This could give you just one reason to want to be a preggo all the time.

Pregnancy gives the reason to be self-centered in real terms. It is a time when you must take care of yourself. You need to put yourself (and your baby) before work or anyone else. Yes, it makes you wise to think for yourself once in a while. Because very soon you are gonna be a mama and think too little for yourself.

Having said that, a bit of dilly-dallying shall remain. Turn down an offer to accompany your friend on a holiday, and secretly regret it later. “Gosh, have I been an a**hole!” is what you wanna say to yourself.

But along will come some stress-busters through prenatal yoga classes. Regrets will go even out. Then you know where to prioritize. Thanks to the ‘no’ that comes naturally to you. It becomes such a savior. Interestingly this two-letter word is going to stay with you here on so you can use it for your child, as it gets into things that it shouldn’t. Thanks to ‘no’, so it makes you a good mom and a bad mom to at the same time. But hey, it works!

So, over to the women who are still getting introduced to the pregnancy – you will be the asshole you never wanted to be, and a selfish one at that because you will set your fences very well which also becomes the key to seeing through your motherhood.

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