People yearn to become parents. But once they have children of their own, the initial excitement is gradually taken over by sort of a silent gloom – something they will never want to share with anyone, let alone blurt it out mistakenly. God forbid your children to overhear your deepest regret while you share it with your husband. Becoming parents means being responsible and committed to raising your kids. In due course, you might have to accept the inevitable changes that might happen in your lives. Let’s face it. Parents do have regrets about becoming parents themselves and how parenthood changes their lives. Here’s more on it:
1. With Becoming A Parent, Your Dreams Have Become Distant:
You might have had dreams that you shelved ‘momentarily’ after you became a mom. You thought you would get back to it. But it never seemed to be happening. Think about the dream holiday destination, the dream vacation, that dream hour-glass figure you thought you’d remain, the unrushed weekdays, days of calm and peace, no cares, no worries over that freak fall your child had the other day, or arbitrating the fight your children and their friends picked up, your favorite pastime that long seems to have been forgotten, a second honeymoon and much more – everything seems to have stalled somewhere.
2. Your Hobbies Have Got Antiquated:
The painting that you started some time ago never finished. It might not come to completion either and simply make its way up the attic. Children become the center point of your lives that it becomes nearly impossible pursuing the hobbies that you once were passionate about. You might even try gong back to what you were doing, but very soon you will realize that the reignited hobbies are short-lived. Something pertinent to children is soon to come in the way.
3. You Will Be Related With Your Parents:
You might throw a piece of advice on your kids inadvertently. In fact, you will persistently assail them with, “Don’t do this” or “Don’t do that” or “This is not what is expected of you” or their ‘general code of conduct at home, school or play’. In doing so, you will recall your parents who said the same words to you when you were a kid. But alongside, you will realize what blunders you made as a kid and will fear that your children might repeat those mistakes by not listening to you. In addition to these, as an adult, you will still make mistakes different from what your parents thought you would. The bonus is that you will also spot the mistakes that your parents made while raising you and you will want to avoid repeating those. And yet you will be surprised at the many impossible things about you that your parents so deftly handled.
4. Facing Rebuke From Children:
When your baby is beyond the toddler stage and the learning-to-talk stage, there will be changes that you will not be boastful of. They might argue with you even if you told them that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. The more hyperactive children might as well kick you. They might say, “I hate you,” resulting in your eyes welling up, but you act like nothing happened, or you didn’t feel a thing.
5. That Unpardonable Wrath:
You might be boiling with anger at the erratic things that children do. And minutes later you might regret the downpour of that wrath over your own flesh and blood, so much so that you won’t be able to forgive yourself. But it’s been done, and nothing can undo it but your kind words and gestures – the only thing that can help you get over your ‘criminalized’ urges.
6. You Will Never Be Immune To Those Heartbreaks:
Expectations of your children can leave you wounded at times. You count their behavior, disciplines, home-work, activities, and the way they present themselves just about everywhere. But they are not perfect (just as you are not). They will reflect the flaws in you apart from their own. You will panic on what is going to become of them. You will be anxious with every exam they sit, anxious about the choices they will make and be hurt by the fact that they will develop their own ideologies and principles unlike yours. Yet, you will take it all in your stride.
7. Children Are Not Innocent After All:
Your final verdict will be this! They are rather clever than you thought – you weren’t as smart as them when you were their age. Sometimes it could embarrass you that you never identified their shrewdness. But here they are, proving themselves each time that you cannot always influence them the way you want.
Having children is a boon. But seeing your kids grow can come up with some harsh realities of parenting. Are you up for it? Or have been through it all? Write us back!