People portray motherhood as a joyride filled with rainbows, sunshine, and roses. But what they fail to mention is that motherhood has its own set of struggles. There are numerous highs and lows every day when you’re a mother, and no one usually talks about it. Yes, it’s great to be a mom, but it also has its set of challenges that can often be overwhelming. You might want a break from your child or your duties of being a mom, and that’s absolutely normal. However, because motherhood is glorified in society, mothers end up feeling guilty for wanting a break. But is this really fair?
After having a traumatic birthing experience, mothers need ample rest to recover. They need to take some time away from their baby every now and then to enjoy some alone time and recuperate so that they can play superwoman on another day. But it’s not quite easy because of the various emotions that you have to navigate through. Motherhood has an overwhelming amalgamation of emotions which can get exhausting if they are not addressed correctly. So, what should you do? How do you manage these emotions? Keep reading to find out:
Emotions Are A Cocktail Of Sunshine And Criticism
If you get on social media, you’ll notice tons of mothers who profess how magical motherhood is. They probably put up posts and stories about how blessed they are and how miraculous their journey has been so far. You’ll also find other mothers who point out the struggles of motherhood in a painfully humorous or sarcastic way. Which one is more accurate?
The truth is that being a mother comprises both — the good and the ugly. Some days you are thrilled that you have a little angel to love and adore. On other days you wish you could run away and never look back (don’t worry, we’ve all been there!). Therefore, understand that your emotions include the good, the bad, and the ugly, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Emotional Meltdowns Cannot Always Be Predicted
You might be someone who has their life in order, but no one can control it when it comes to emotional meltdowns. It’s common for mothers to carry the daily responsibilities of their family, children, their own health, in addition to their career and life in general. When you’re a mom, you have a lot of moments where you have to keep your calm even when you’re irritated, annoyed, or angry. It makes you susceptible to having emotional meltdowns when you least expect it, which is completely normal.
One day, you could cry because you couldn’t find a sock, and another could be when you’re watching a cartoon with your kid. Don’t be surprised if you do because it happens to the best of us. Instead of trying to hold off a meltdown, let it come for you to get it over with.
Grief Is A Part And Parcel Of Life
Yes, it’s lovely to be a mom. The precious moments you enjoy with your kids are immeasurable and will be etched in your memory for life. But there’s can be a lot of grief as well that comes with being a mom. Starting with painful labor to the millions of sacrifices a mother makes — her career, time, interests, and needs. Another huge aspect of motherhood is the lack of appreciation and gratitude, which can take a toll on any mother. Imagine working at an office and never hearing your boss say anything good about your hard work. Sadly, that’s the thing mothers have to constantly go through.
Comparing Yourself With Other Parents
Even when you don’t want to do it, chances are that you would, at some point of parenthood compare yourself to other parents. There will always be that particular lady who makes it seem so easy and as if everything is sorted. This would make us question our abilities as parents and whether we are good enough. But what we should know is that as long as you’re being a mother to your child and giving them enough love and care, it doesn’t matter what others are doing. Besides, you don’t really know what the reality is even for the parents that seem to be perfect from the outside. They might also be going through many struggles and just are better at hiding them. Or it’s totally possible that they in fact look at you as an ideal mother. So, be confident in yourself and try to keep the emotions of comparison at bay as much as possible.
Judgment And Guilt – Too Much Of It
Every mother experiences these emotions strongly. As soon as you’re pregnant, you have to be prepared for random aunties bombarding you with “advice”, which only seems like judgment. You’ll also be judged for your parenting, possibly by every person who is a parent because they believe you’re doing it wrong. Though it’s also possible that many of the advice is in fact well-meaning, it’s impossible for you to follow every one of them. You would after all only trust reliable sources of information and not rely on hearsay and old wives’ tales. One great way to deal with all these unsolicited recommendations is to just pretend to listen and agree just for sake of it. Conflict will be avoided and the person giving the advice would also feel like s/he is being heard, while you go on with your normal routine.
Being a mother doesn’t mean that you learn every aspect of parenting overnight. It comes with time and practice, and you’re bound to make some mistakes on the way. Do not ignore your emotions in the process because that’s unfair to you and your baby. Accept that emotions are a part of life and embrace all of yours. It’s also a good idea to seek therapy to help straighten out your thoughts and bring in some clarity. What emotions did you struggle with when you became a mother? Let us know in the comments below how you managed them!