I hope I’m not the only one who is in a constant dilemma of whether or not I should have another child. Some days I yearn for the sweet smell of the newborn, and other days I kick myself for even thinking about having another child. I know there are pros and cons to each side, but that doesn’t help me reach a clear decision. The hesitations, doubts, concerns, and worries can be all-consuming. Below, I list down seven reasons why I’m hesitant to have another child.
I know what you’re gonna say, “how can you be afraid of it after being a mum?” But just because I’ve gone through the whole thing, it doesn’t make it any less scary. In fact, now that I know how much pain and effort it takes to bring a child into this world, not to forget the postpartum recovery phase, I’m much more hesitant to go through it again. I guess the old adage “ignorance is bliss” holds true in my case.
After leading a zombie life for almost two years, I’m finally getting to sleep for a minimum of 6 hours. I love my sleep, and I’m not sure if I’m ready to be tired and sleep-deprived again. Honestly, I shudder at the thought of constantly having to wake up at odd hours in the middle of the night and surviving on 2 hours of sleep in a day. And unlike before, where I had only one child to take care of, with a new baby, my job is going to be even more challenging than before.
5. Sharing My Love
I know I’ll have more love to give when I have another child. Because guess what? I had no idea I had so much love to give before my first child was even born. It was the most beautiful thing that I had ever experienced. But I don’t know if I want to open my heart yet again to another human being; be consumed by worries whenever they get hurt.
4. My Body
Women are often told to embrace all the changes that pregnancy brings about. But it’s harder said than done. The stretch marks, weight gain, and saggy breasts are not something that every woman can embrace. No matter how miraculous the experience of childbirth has been, it takes a while to accept our body with all the pregnancy and childbirth changes that it has gone through. I’m not somebody who snapped back to my pre-pregnancy weight; it took me almost one and a half years to lose all the pounds that I gained during my pregnancy. So, call me selfish, but I don’t think I’m ready to put my body through all the changes again.
Babies are quite expensive. Add one more baby to our family picture, and our finances are going to take a major hit. No matter how much we plan and prepare, I know we’re gonna be under financial stress for a while. We won’t be able to afford any holidays or fun things since the baby expenses are going to deplete all our savings. And it’s not just the first few years that’s going to be tough; raising two kids will put us in some financial strain the rest of our lives.
2. Less Time For Mommy
Unless you can afford a maid or have someone in your family to constantly rely upon, taking care of two kids is going to be no easy feat. I find it hard to catch a break with only one child; I can’t imagine how tough it’s gonna be with two. From packing their lunches and dropping them off at school to attending all the PTA meetings and the extracurricular activities, my life is going to be a roller coaster ride.
1. Less Couple Time
We knew what we were getting into when we were pregnant with our first child. So, we made sure to spend a lot of quality time during our pregnancy; lunch dates, movies, fancy dinners, and whatnot. After delivery, we barely had enough time for each other. But we have finally found a way to make some time for each other and prioritize our relationship even amidst raising a baby. But with another child, I know we’re gonna have less time for each other.
I know that some of these fears may fade away once we have another baby. The love we have for each other and our little one is going to be enough to make it work.
Could you relate to some of the reasons mentioned above? Let us know in the comments below.