More often than not, the focus during pregnancy is so much on the mother that we forget the father is a crucial part of it too! We come across countless blogs, books, tips, and tricks on how to be a mother and how to come to terms with the whole idea of motherhood.
But what about the father?
Pregnancy can be an overwhelming experience for dads-to-be too! After all, there’s going to be a whole new life that you’ll be taking care of; that you’ll have to be responsible for, for god knows how many years to come! How can that not be scary?
It can almost feel unreal. Like it’s not happening to you, it’s happening to be somebody else, and you’re just viewing it through a lens. Often even when the last semester hits, the feeling that you’re about to be a dad might not still sink in for some time.
Let’s discuss why being a dad can feel totally unreal sometimes:
Extra Work During Pregnancy Gets In The Way
Maybe work’s too hectic these days for you? Or perhaps you’re putting in extra hours at work to ensure your future family doesn’t ever feel a financial crunch. That’s a lot of pressure. Whatever the case may be, spending a lot of time at work can take away from the experience of pregnancy, thereby making the whole thing seem unreal.
That said, now might be a great time to think about your work-life balance. That way, you’ll know how to juggle both the baby and your work once your newborn arrives into this world.
You’re Not Sure You Want A Baby
We’re not here to judge. It’s perfectly normal not to be ready to take up as big a responsibility as a baby. However, if you’re unsure about starting your life in the mold of fatherhood when your partner is already in their third trimester, you’re in a sticky spot.
In such delicate cases, it’s best to turn to your all-time confidante and have a heart to heart. That could be anybody — your sibling, a close friend, or even your GP. Just pour out your concerns and try to have a healthy discussion.
You’re Not Sure About Your Relationship
Probably a stickier situation than not being ready for the baby is being in a relationship you’re not sure of with the woman who’s carrying your child.
Contrary to popular belief, having a baby together will likely not iron out the differences between you and the mother of your child.
Hence, it’s vital to spend some time with yourself and figure out how you want to go about your relationship in particular and your life overall.
Discussing your present dilemma with someone you trust might help you view your situation in a new light. It might even help clear out the confusion, so you know what to do ultimately.
It Just Doesn’t Feel All Too Real (Yet)
Honestly, there’s no manual set in stone that directs you on how to be a dad and embrace the new role of fatherhood. Some dads don’t get that ‘real’ feeling till they start attending birthing classes. Others don’t get it till they walk out of the hospital with a brand new baby in their arms. So if you still don’t think it’s real (and face none of the problems we discussed above), it’s okay. You’ll get there soon enough. The point at which it hits is different for everybody.
However, until that moment comes, prepare on how you can be a dad, how you can support your partner through pregnancy and labor, and how you can adjust to fatherhood. There are plenty of forums out there to help you out.
What You Can Do For Reality To Sink In
If you’re looking for things that can help the reality of pregnancy sink in, we’ve got some tips that’ll come to your rescue. Here they are:
- Talk to fellow dads or dads-to-be. Ask them how they are adjusting to the role of fatherhood. What made them feel that it was real? They might offer insights you haven’t thought of before. In any case, don’t be afraid to speak up.
- Sign up for a birthing class. And attend it. Birthing classes will serve as an educational experience, helping you navigate pregnancy and beyond; while giving you the confidence you need to be there for your partner and baby.
- Seek professional help. If nothing else works out, or if you need further reassurances, you can always seek professional help. Get in touch with a good counselor or doctor, and they’ll help you.
We understand that fatherhood can seem like a challenge. However, with the right mindset and a little help, you’ll ease into the role soon enough.