If You Don’t Want A Baby After 35, That’s Fine –– But Don’t Say It’s “Too Old”

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IN THIS ARTICLE

News of pregnancy is received with much joy and excitement by your friends and family when you are in your twenties. However, the same cannot be said for your thirties, especially when you are 35 or more. Even if people don’t say things directly to your face, you can immediately sense the concern and forebodings they elicit. This can be very discouraging to someone who is planning their pregnancy in their thirties. And then some people might also warn about the high chances of complications that you will face with late pregnancy and how it can hamper the baby’s future health. In the face of this situation, you feel lost and ask yourself whether your decision to have a child at this age is the right one.

But you know what? Plenty of women are enjoying motherhood in their thirties or even their early forties, so whoever tells you that thirty-five is too old, ask them to take a hike! The next time someone tells you’re too old to have a baby in your thirties, let them know how wrong they are.

Are You Too Old To Have A Baby In Your Thirties?

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So, let’s get the facts straight. You are in the prime of your childbearing age in your mid-twenties, when your chances of getting pregnant are at their best. This is when you have a high number of fertile eggs, and your body is well-formed to bear a child. As you reach the end of your twenties and step into your thirties, the millions of eggs you once boasted of slowly comes down to a few thousand. Also, when in your twenties, you have to deal with lesser complications and pregnancy-related risks. The same cannot be said about your thirties. The risk of miscarriages, preterm birth, and other complications may arise in your thirties and more so in your forties (1).

But this doesn’t mean that you cannot get pregnant in your thirties, mid-thirties, or even in your forties. Yes, the egg count might have gone down significantly, but they’re still there. Your chances of getting pregnant have indeed declined compared to your twenties, but this does not mean that you cannot get pregnant in your thirties. In fact, in developed countries, the number of women who have opted for pregnancy after the age of 35 has been constantly increasing for the last four decades (2).

So to answer this question: no! 35 isn’t necessarily too old to have a baby as long as you take the recommended care and medical help.

Don’t Let People Define Age For You

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When you tell people about your plans to get pregnant in your mid- or late-thirties, chances are that you will be met by comments of concern and worry. Some of these comments, though uninformed, come from a place of genuine concern. After all, these are our friends and family and they just want our wellbeing. However, you can’t give in to such uninformed bits of advice in taking a major decision in your life. If you are being discouraged from having a pregnancy at your age by someone, ask them if they are really knowledgeable about the issue, or it’s just hearsay!

Remember that the thirties is not old at all! Many people feel more energetic and happy in their mid-thirties. While they still enjoy good health, now they also have the advantage of maturity and experience with them. For many, deciding to have a baby in their thirties is more convenient than it was in their twenties, be it because of financial security or the acceptance of responsibility.

It’s Your Call!

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Having a baby, and deciding when to do so, is private and no one else’s business. You could choose to have a baby early in life or wait until you’re well into your thirties or forties. Some might achieve certain financial or emotional stability in their twenties itself which makes them ready to raise a child. While that works for them, your situation could be totally different. It’s your body, your baby, your life, and so it’s your call! Also, don’t feel pressured when you see your friends reaching milestones such as pregnancy. They, too, are doing things on their own terms, so what they have decided shouldn’t come in the way of your decisions. Remember that the path of life, family, or career is different for everyone, and it’s up to you to decide when, where and how you want things to happen.

Yes, Your Baby Can Be Healthy Too

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Women who are or are planning for pregnancy often get bogged down by many concerns. Will there be too many complications during childbirth? Will the baby be totally healthy? These are just a couple of common questions that can pop into their heads. But try to understand that you can apply a one-size-fits-all approach to this. Our bodies and health conditions vary all too slightly from person to person. So, consult your doctor or medical expert and get evaluated on whether your body is ready for a pregnancy. It would be prudent and good to stay constantly monitored medically so that you don’t suffer any undue complications during pregnancy or during childbirth. A lot of women have had their pregnancy in their thirties and delivered perfectly healthy babies without any complications. As we said, there could be complications, but this doesn’t rule out the possibility of a healthy pregnancy or a healthy baby!

You’re Going To Be A Great Mother No Matter What Your Age Is

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Another growing concern that mothers often have about conceiving late is whether they’ll be good mothers. If you’re thinking this, stop right there. You’re going to be an amazing mom. Your age can’t be the deciding factor when it comes to how good a mother you can be. So many mothers out there, who have had children later on in life, have bent over backward trying to be the best for their children. It really doesn’t matter what your age is. There is no rule book when it comes to motherhood. And it’s never really black and white. Every mother tries her best, and they learn along the way. So don’t let people tell you that you can’t be a good mother if you’ve just had a baby in your thirties or forties!

It’s okay if someone has decided for themselves that they do not want to have a child once they’re thirty-five and over. That is their decision, and it’s important to respect it. But, don’t let them tell you how to live your life either. You are the one to decide when you want to have your baby. Talk to your doctor and weigh out your options. What are your thoughts on this? Let us know in the comments below!

References:

MomJunction's articles are written after analyzing the research works of expert authors and institutions. Our references consist of resources established by authorities in their respective fields. You can learn more about the authenticity of the information we present in our editorial policy.
  1. The Best Age for Pregnancy and Undue Pressures
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5241353/
  2. A Review of Pregnancy in Women Over 35 Years of Age
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2729989/
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