Isn’t driving a point home one of the trickiest things to do when you talk to your children? Clichéd words and principles will never make them understand what you try to tell them or what you expect of them. They become accustomed to your negative words and disapproving statements, so your reprimand barely tickles their conscience.
Sometimes though, your harsh words can lead to many problems for your kids. So, on that note, let’s learn more about 6 things that you shouldn’t say to your kids.
1. You Are OK:
When your child hurts himself, you instantly say, “You are OK”. How unsympathetic for your child to hear that. It’s like all his wailing has fallen on deaf ears! When a child cries for having injured himself, OK is the most insensitive word to say. Instead tell him that you understand how bad the fall must have been and that you will see to it that he will get better. It will soothe him and make up for that bad fall.
2. Others Are Doing Better:
Comparing children to their peers is the worst thing you can do to your kids. Every time he fails to get the grades that you want to see, or he fails to wind up his homework in time, comparing him to his peers is the last thing you might want to do. Comparisons can put children off, and can lead to issues with self-confidence, low self-esteem and other related problems. Don’t use other children as a yardstick to measure your kid’s success. Rather make him understand that he has the potential to take up bigger challenges and in taking the smaller ones head-on, he will outshine others.
3. No More Playing:
It’s natural to expect a kid’s room with toys strewn around everywhere. But despite being instructed, if he cannot put them back to where they belong; don’t threaten him with no more play time! You are conditioning your child’s mind to believe that he isn’t loved when he doesn’t follow your instructions. Moreover, kids don’t have a linear thought process, and it takes them time to grow responsible. Instead tell your child that in more imaginative ways as, “If you don’t put your toys back to their place, they will walk out of the house while you are asleep.” It will prompt him to keep them safe in the toy box with a need of no further monitoring.
4. Stop It:
It is not unnatural for a child to keep imploring for something. You are faced with the constant chants or demands for a thing until you grudgingly accept. If you aren’t willing to yield, then don’t threaten your child. It will only get next to worse. Threats will only lead to more adamant behavior and repetitive problems. Moreover, if your child is sensitive, threatening him can be psychologically damaging. Look for tactics that will remove the source of the demand. Look for alternative options that will be equally satisfying for your child. Or create a situation that will be good enough to enchant your child into something else and he entirely forgets the fussing over what he found at the shop the other day.
5. You Are Getting Us Late:
It’s not uncommon for families to turn up late to an event, appointment or even work. You might be standing at the door when you hear your child ask for something to eat or ask for a matching jacket or a missing sock, or he has just spilled something. Punctuality turns out to be a tall claim once you have a family and children. At the same time asking children to keep pace with you can be ruinous. Asking them to hurry up only demotivates them. They are already carrying the guilt of causing the delay, and constant yelling can make them more nervous. The onus is on you. Whenever you are stepping out with kids, make sure you are up an hour early and wind up the chores earlier than usual. Pack the bags and keep all the things you are going to take with you ready early in the morning, so you don’t have to run after kids asking them to hurry up.
6. You Can’t Watch TV Until….
When you don’t allow your child to watch TV and get him to something more productive, you pat yourself thinking you achieved something. In reality, it hasn’t fetched you anything because in not allowing him watch his favorite show, you have only created a mental block for your child. He can neither concentrate on what he has been asked to do, nor can he think of anything besides what must be on the air. Allow him to watch what he wants to with some scheduling. Have a TV timetable chalked out for him. It will keep him balanced in his homework, study and play time and also give him ample time to watch his favorite TV shows.
As parents, we often seem to be authoritative. But, make sure that your authority isn’t detrimental to your child’s emotions. Contrive upon mechanisms that are both welcome and encouraging for your child to ensure that your child turns out to be a disciplined child while keeping his morale up. Know something we don’t? Have a suggestion or an experience you want to share? Comment below!