Raising kids can be full of beautiful moments but at the same time is accompanied by times when the little devils just drive you crazy. As babies transition from the infant to toddler stages, they slowly start developing their personalities and many a times would be at odds with you. When you know well what they resort to when they don’t get their ways: they start throwing tantrums.
No one likes a tantrum. Little ones are perhaps the cutest things on the planet, but the minute you see a tantrum surfacing, they are anything but cute. It might be difficult for you to come to terms with the fact that your child has a difference of opinion with you. You are, after all, the authoritative figure, and this is probably new to you. However, a tantrum too can be beautiful in its own twisted way. It can pave the way for you to be grateful. This might sound impossible, but it is true. We’ve listed eight reasons why you should be thankful for your child’s tantrums.
1. An Identity In The Making
Wrapped in swaddling clothes, safe and sound in your arms, there wasn’t much that your baby could do. The only tantrums you probably witnessed were shrill cries when the little one was in distress. But as they grow, you’ll see that they’re slowly creating an identity for themselves. Each time your baby says ‘NO!’ and begins to throw a tantrum, it might infuriate you. But here’s something you should know — your child is slowly developing an identity. They’re slowly but surely learning what they want, what they do not what, and so much more!
Having opinions and choosing things one prefers are important parts of one’s personality. so , throwing tantrums are in a way the process through which your child is developing their personality.
2. It Gives Time For Reflection
Children have to learn that every action has a consequence — and they have to reflect on it. What better way to understand this than from experience itself? They should know that when they throw a tantrum, they upset you and themselves as well. Was it worth it? Did they fight for a good cause? Should they perhaps take a different approach the next time? These are the questions that might begin to brew in their heads. Sooner or later, the time for reflection comes by.
You as the parent also have an important role in making them see reason. Whenever they turn too unruly or aggressive, you can let them calm down first. And then later you can have a conversation where you discuss with them how they could have behaved themselves better. This would help them reflect on the way they behaved and try to be better the next time.
3. Your Child Is Growing
You experience a sense of pride when you see your child completing each milestone, such as when they begin to crawl, take their first steps, and say their first words. Maybe you haven’t realized this, but your child throwing a tantrum is another milestone as well. This is your child growing.
4. You Are A Safe Space
Sometimes, we let ourselves be vulnerable only before the ones we trust — this holds good for your child as well. Your child knows that you are a safe space, that you will not give up on them, despite their tantrums. This isn’t them taking advantage of you; this is them trusting you and letting go of their inhibitions because they are comfortable with you. This is where you need to teach them about respecting boundaries. Tell them that you are a safe space, but it does not mean they can always take advantage of you.
5. Throws Light On The Areas That Need Help
When your child throws a tantrum, and it’s a nasty one, it sheds light on what the real issue is. Is anger the predominant emotion? If yes, is your child having a hard time controlling it? Then maybe you need to address that issue. Perhaps, it’s time to help your child understand that certain areas of their behavior need help.
6. Proof Of Individuality
Tantrums are all about wanting things to work their way. At the end of the day, their way is unique. It carves out a sense of individuality. As much as you might dislike it, it is good that your child has learned to say no. This trains your child not to be a pushover in the long run in other situations.
7. Love, Even When Times Are Hard
A tantrum presents you with an opportunity to love, even when times are hard. Your child is displaying bad behavior, and you are still here for your little one to fall back on. It’s easy for you, as a parent, to love your child when everything is nice and rosy. Not so much when they’re brats. But that is the beauty of parenting.
8. Being Emotionally Alive
Life is filled with ups and downs, and your child is having a first-hand experience of this. There are so many emotions that we feel as humans. Your child, too, is on a journey through some of these emotions. Yea they may act aggressive or unruly at times, which is alright as they don’t know yet how to handle their emotions. Slowly they too shall learn how to channel it better. Anger, rage, disappointment are all strong emotions associated with tantrums — let your child feel them all.
We don’t want to lie and tell you that tantrums are amazing. It can be emotionally exhausting for both you and your child. Asking you to be grateful for tantrums might seem ridiculous, but you must understand that it is part and parcel of your child’s development. Do you have something to be grateful for when your child throws a tantrum? Let us know in the comments below!