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Parents today are divided on how to treat their kids, discipline them and what foods to feed them. But if there’s one thing that all parents can agree on, it’s that toddlers are clingy. For all their running around and exploring, no one likes to latch onto you like your toddler. And although this is normal, is it okay? The discussion about boundaries is being had more publicly in recent years. And moms are the ultimate boundary enforcers. How many times have you asked your child to wait OUTSIDE the bathroom when you use it? Or asked them to give you a minute alone to think? Sometimes all you can do is stress on boundaries all day long.
Unfortunately, sometimes toddlers just don’t get the memo. When our children are little, it can seem like a losing battle to keep boundaries around any subject. Moms need boundaries around mealtime, bedtime, screen time, behavior, relationships with family members, and most important time to themselves. Teaching children about boundaries is important. After all, when we uphold our boundaries we teach our kids to do the same. But is this even possible with a toddler or is it an impossible endeavor? Here’s everything you need to know about establishing boundaries with your little one.
Boundaries Make You A Better Parent
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Many parents feel guilty for taking time out just for themselves or to spend with their partner without the kids being around. But setting boundaries in this regard is a good practice that teaches kids to respect your space. Setting healthy boundaries does not make you a bad parent. In fact it can make you a better parent as you will be setting up patterns that mold your child’s life. Setting boundaries with your toddlers teaches them to learn where their limits are, and children tend to thrive on structure.
Boundaries don’t just have to do with time and space. Let’s look at boundaries in terms of following rules. You might be tempted to ignore the boundaries you have set and give your child a cookie when they whine but this can have many repercussions. If they find out they can whine for an extra hour and get the cookie, no one enjoys it. It’s not enjoyable for the kids either.
How To Keep A Boundary Intact?
Yes, it is possible to establish boundaries with your toddler. The sooner you create them and stick to them, the better for everyone involved. However, when creating boundaries for your little one there are some things to keep in mind.
1. Give Clear Instructions
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Being vague with your kids is never a good idea. When it comes to giving instructions, setting rules or boundaries in place, make sure you are as clear as possible. Boundaries work better when they are communicated well. In addition, give your kids a countdown or warning. This will help them to know and anticipate the change in events that are to come or the end to an activity. Giving them a warning sign is also a great way to lessen the possibility of your child erupting when you abruptly announce that screen time or playtime is over.
2. Consistency Is Key
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Your boundaries need to be maintained almost regimentally. This means that you have to be consistent when enforcing them. This is what allows both parents and children to manage their expectations and look forward to the results of their boundaries. For example, better rest for kids who go to bed on time or less frustration when dealing with the kids on account of having time to destress by yourself.
3. Allow Your Kids To Have Some Control Over Boundary Setting
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Now we know this sounds counterintuitive but allowing your child to have some control when you set a boundary can make it easier to move a child, especially clingy toddlers. For example, if they have set the boundary for playtime at the park to end at 5pm, allow them to select what songs they listen to on the way back home or if they’d like to walk or be carried to the car. Give them something that they can look forward to in order to make adhering to the boundary easier.
Stay Positive About Boundaries
Parents often don’t stick to the boundaries they create because they would much rather avoid another meltdown or battle. And although they may not get with the new program straight away, being positive about these boundaries will enable your child to see how they are beneficial for them as well. For example, instead of telling your kids you need a day alone, you can follow this up by saying that they are going to do something fun with the other parent that day. They will view this as a chance to get some alone time with your partner which is always a bonus!
Teaching kids to respect your space and boundaries doesn’t come about in a day. It takes work, consistency, patience and time. So be kind to yourself and your little one until they get the hang of it. Happy parenting!
