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It’s a million-dollar question, isn’t it? Even those in the throes of baby fever can’t help but sometimes wonder — “Am I ready for a baby?”
If you and your partner have decided the answer to that as “Yes”, that’s amazing! You likely have it all figured out and know how you’ll go about the whole baby-making and rearing business.
But for some, despite kick-starting the process of getting pregnant, the question still looms. And in such cases, it’s best to tackle certain issues and talk about them with your partner to find out if you’re truly ready.
So if you’re not on either side of the fence yet, here are 9 questions you and your partner should discuss the answers to before starting your family:
1. “What Are We Doing To Get Pregnant?”
Okay, yes, the answer to that is obvious. But when it comes to getting pregnant, different people take different approaches. Some may go down the “let’s do our bit and see what happens” route. While some others may want to plan the whole thing out, based on the ovulation cycle and everything. Knowing which camp you and your partner are on can help you reach a compromise and work out a way that suits both of you.
2. “Are We Financially Sound?”
Babies are expensive. Period. Hence, it’s important to have a healthy discussion on finances so the two of you can figure out whether one of you is going to stay at home or both of you are going to work and leave the child with a nanny. Besides, chalking up a family budget will give you a clear idea of what to spend on, what to save on, and where to cut costs.
3. “What’s The Maternity Policy Of My Job?”
Right now would be a good time to go over your company’s maternity policy. Every company has different rules in place. So it’s vital to have a good idea of the duration of your maternity leave, the pay you’ll get on leave, whether you can club your pending offs with your maternity leave, etc. Knowing your company’s maternity policy will help you plan your pregnancy better so you can get back to work when you need to.
4. “How’s Our Relationship As Of Late?”
All relationships hit a rough patch sometimes. But if you think having a baby is going to fix that rough patch, think again. Though there’s no doubt, you’ll feel closer to each other after your baby steps into this world; the added responsibility can actually put a strain on your relationship. So if you’re on a rocky road, seek counseling before having a baby.
5. “Are We Ready For More Chores?”
No doubt it’s funny when your partner jokes about never doing diaper duty. But you might want to find out how serious they are about that. Having a baby is equivalent to having too many new chores to do. It’s all part of the package deal. And no one person should be expected to carry out all of those duties alone. So sit down and discuss with your partner which duty will land on whom. It’ll make the ride a lot smoother.
6. “Are We Ready To Give Up ‘We’ And ‘Me’ Time?”
Both of these are going to take a serious hit once your baby arrives. At least for the first year or so. Motherhood is a 24×7 job, one that requires your constant time and attention. So before you jump on the baby ship, you have to be ready to give up on some family time, hangouts with friends, workout in the gym, date night, etc. If you have some big plans or life goals to accomplish, do them now, so you don’t feel the pressure of losing time when the baby comes.
7. “Which Religion Is Our Baby Going To Follow?”
Or even the customs and traditions of which ethnic group if both of you happen to be of the same religion but different communities. Discussing the ceremonies and rituals your baby will have to go through after being born beforehand can save you the confusion and conflict later.
8. “Shall We Raise Our Baby As Bilingual?”
Like we mentioned above, if both of you belong to different communities that speak different languages, it might be a good idea to discuss if you want to raise your baby as bilingual.
9. “Do We Need A New House?”
Sure, a tiny tot doesn’t take up a whole lot of space. But their stuff does! More so as they grow up. Besides as cute as a newborn is, they’re also huge noisemakers. We’re talking decibels that make the neighbors groan and stay up all night. So figure out if you guys need to move out to a bigger house beforehand. Because once the baby comes, it’s going to be a huge hassle.
While it’s true, you can’t plan every aspect of your pregnancy and that many surprises will still come your way, chalking out the basics can at least prevent the shocks from hitting you. So be sure to have clear answers to these questions so your pregnancy can be a dream ride.
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