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When my daughter was born, friends and family recommended that I should exclusively stick to breastfeeding. It seemed like the more natural and obvious choice at the moment. But when I began breastfeeding my daughter, I realized that we were in for a different ride.
Within a few days, I had this terrible feeling that my daughter despised breastfeeding. What mother likes to know that their infant wants to have nothing to do with their nursing?
Every time she was hungry, it would be a struggle between the two of us. My daughter would cry and try to push away while I endeavored to latch her on to my breasts.
There were the obvious questions. Maybe I wasn’t a good mother? Was she rejecting me? What if we couldn’t figure this out?
For the first time in my life, I experienced the overwhelming guilt of not being able to take care of one’s child.
I considered reaching out to lactation consultants. Perhaps we could do with some professional guidance.
During this time, though, one of my colleagues suggested that I try out bottle-feeding. I had my apprehensions, of course. How were we to bond when my daughter seemed to despise natural suckling? Could anything truly replace the presence of skin to skin contact?
With a little reluctance, I decided to try bottle-feeding my daughter. And It wasn’t long before I realized that she preferred this to breastfeeding.
Now that my daughter and I have come a long way since the time we struggled with this, I can say with much more assurance that there’s no right way to nurse your baby. Sometimes, being a mother means figuring out what works best for you and your child.
So here are some things I’d like to share about bottle-feeding and bonding:
When It Comes To Bottle-Feeding, Your Presence Matters
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During the first few weeks when I had breastfed my daughter, it was easy not to pay attention once she was latched on. So, on days when I was exhausted and sleep-deprived (and that meant most days), I would doze off or close my eyes for some time while feeding her.
But when I started bottle-feeding my daughter, I had to really pay attention. For one, the bottle had to be held up a certain way, and this couldn’t possibly happen if I zoned out in between.
The difference that bottle-feeding made in our relationship was that instead of coming closer through contact comfort, I connected with my daughter through giving her my undivided attention.
Sure, breastfeeding establishes the mother-child relationship through physical contact, but it isn’t the only way to bond with your baby. Eye contact plays an important role in bonding with infants. And bottle-feeding ensured that I was present at all times. It enabled me to be just as close to my daughter, as is the case with breastfeeding infants.
Bottle-Feeding Allows You To Be At Ease
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When you’re the mother of a newborn, many things need to be considered. But bottle-feeding ensures that you are at ease in the case of one such concern. You don’t need to worry about whether your child is getting enough food.
When I switched to the bottle, it helped me measure every feeding that I would give to my daughter. And once I got a basic sense of how many ounces she ate at one go, there was nothing to worry about. Not only was this experience more relaxing, but eventually, I was able to savor this moment of my life.
Bottle-Feeding Allows You To Take Some Time Off
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When you’re nurturing an infant, life can get exhausting. So it becomes important to take some time off every once in a while. When I started bottle-feeding my daughter, it was easier for me to leave the house. I did not have to worry about sore breasts or felt a compulsion to return within a strict time schedule.
Mothering is still exhausting when you are bottle-feeding your child, but it enables you to make room for self-care. And once you have replenished yourself, you are ready to go back to focusing on your baby. The occasional breaks that I took put me in a healthy mindset for both my daughter and me.
Bottle-Feeding Is Not At Odds With Bonding
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My biggest fear when I realized that my daughter was not into breastfeeding was that it would affect the bond we would share. And I am happy to tell you that my fears were only just that — fears.
Firstly, it’s important to understand that when babies reject breastfeeding, it does not mean that they are rejecting you or your love by extension. Like everything else in parenting, what matters most is what works best for you and your child.
Breastfeeding is only one of the many ways you can go about establishing a close relationship with your child. My daughter and I share a very special bond. She likes to be around me even when she’s playing by herself. She loves bedtime kisses and looks forward to when I return from work each day.
No matter how you choose to feed your child, bonding depends on how you reciprocate to your child’s needs. And so, if bottle-feeding works for them, there is no reason why it could hinder you from developing a close relationship with your baby.
