Image: Shutterstock
When I got pregnant with my second child, I didn’t think I was ready for it. It all happened so quickly that I barely had any time to process everything. However, I went through a miscarriage ten weeks into the pregnancy, and it occurred just around the time I was slowly adjusting to the idea of having another baby.
The loss of a baby is a challenging event in a parent’s life. No matter what stage you’re in, a miscarriage can be a devastating experience. There’s a special sense of grief when you haven’t even gotten an opportunity to meet the baby. Coping with these emotions is not an easy thing. Therefore, all mothers process this pain in their own way and when the time comes, moving on is inevitably clouded by this experience.
It is completely normal to experience different emotions of grief when you are dealing with loss. This can be particularly hard when you have to face questions from people around you about how the pregnancy is going or when your due date is scheduled. Sometimes even friends and family that might want to help you out don’t know what to do or say in such a situation.
If you have recently been through a miscarriage and don’t know how to move ahead from that point, don’t worry. You aren’t alone in this. It is okay to hesitate before trying for another child. It is not easy to have gone through what you just did. And if you decide to conceive again, here are a few things that can help you overcome the hesitation.
Accepting Your Experience
Image: Shutterstock
It is quite easier to talk about acceptance than to actually implement it in one’s life. It doesn’t matter if you were two weeks pregnant or if you got the news twenty weeks after, your feelings are valid and deserve time and care. What you are going through is the loss of a child, no matter how long or short the duration of your pregnancy. Of course, your doctor will take care of your physical wellness; they might also succeed in identifying the cause of your miscarriage and help in increasing the chances of your next pregnancy going well. But if you need assistance for dealing with the emotions that this experience has triggered, it might be useful to reach out to a therapist.
Honoring And Acknowledging The Loss
Image: Shutterstock
There might be days when important milestones of your pregnancy will come up and make it hard for you to cope. The day I received a notification on my phone reminding me of my due date, I spiralled back to feeling anxious. Even though I had gradually recovered from the news and had gotten back to work, that day was tough because it made me understand the weight of our loss. I was going to be a mom of two kids, but not anymore.
Take Your Own Time To Process Grief And Overcome It
Image: Shutterstock
Everyone copes with grief in their own time. If you have just experienced loss, no one calls to tell you when it is the right time to move on and try for another child. Just let it happen organically. Don’t push yourself into feeling okay or ready. One thing that can help alleviate some stress and anxiety would be to postpone making any announcements. The important thing is to give yourself the space to decide when you want to conceive again.
If you conceive again, keep in mind that your next pregnancy will not be the same. You will experience some nervousness and be more cautious. But it is important to know this is okay and very much a part of moving forward. Use all the help you need, and remember that you are not alone in this. While it can be hard to overcome loss, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and you can get through it no matter what.
