Your are just short of throwing out a dragon fire, that is if you have a pregnancy heartburn. Does this sound like extoling a pregnancy woe? Doesn’t it seem to get a bit too self-loving – as if you were the only ‘chosen” person to tell an endless tale of how miserbale pregnancy can make you feel, albeit you also love the misery! There is an endless barrage of things you absolutely detest about how your body feels this time around. There are many more things besides morning sickness and swollen legs. A pregnancy heartburn can’t get any more endearing.
Ever sat with a crowd of people and you suddenly felt (in fact heard) that spike of acid gushing up your food-pipe? Worse, sometimes it can be loud enough for someone in vicinty to simply hear the twirling swishes in there, and while you have already been grappling with your hands to cover-up that bulge there, this time you rest your hands on your tummy as if you can get away with making all those whooshes!
Yes, I know, there can be nothing like a preggo maneuver about to contain the refluxes and the play of acids and gases inside. Given a space all by yourself, you will want to fizzle it all out. Imagine yourself being one of those sprinting balloons desperately going about to lose all its air. Well, don’t blame the foods you have been gobling. Even if you were on the recommended diet, your hormonal gods will do the job for you. Some act of progesterone will relax your diaphragm and bestow some heartburn there. If you are heavily pregnant, this one gets to be a common and more frequent pregnancy feature.
Pretty different than your first trimester gags. Yeah? You so wanted to get over the bouts of nausea in the first trimester. Going forward it felt like your prayers were heard. The nausea subsided. You could eat whatever you wanted. But hey, there are still some gastric undercurrents that don’t want to leave you for now. Here are three stages of pregnancy heartburn which pretty much sum up how an average preggo would classify her heartburn days:
1. The heartburn phase when you think it couldn’t have been better:
All those spices and herbs have made there way inside the least touched spots of your kitchen. Food had gotten pretty bland, for quite a while now. But suddenly that mega-size poster of a cheesey pizza or spicey Mexican foods pop up from somewhere. You can’t stop yourself from relishing on one. And the devil appetite makes you place an order. You will dig in and make up for all the herbs and spices you had shooed off for a while. While your family and friends take a jibe at you for not being able to indulge in these foods, hell, you have already snuck out and had most of if it to yourself! There you go preggo, you know how to make a headway!
2. The heartburn phase when you think there is nothing sexy about burping:
Yup, burping sounds like a thing for children. But burping loud at the dinner table? Does that suit an adult? Preggos could be exceptions. You won’t mind – rather you won’t be able to hold your reflexes that would otherwise mean being mannerless. In fact pregnant women do get into childlike behavior – right from breaking down for nothing all the way to having leaky accidents. So why not burps! Just spruce it up with some garlic breath and choke your neighbor before she can pick on your nasty table etiquette.
3. The heartburn phase when your body has begun to ridicule every remedy for pregnancy heartburn:
You will especially become immune to the burpy phase in the third trimester when a day of pregnancy can’t go without a burp. No point hiding it either. You’d rather want to put on a burp-show. Some would advise you with bizzare remedies and concoctions you never thought about in your lifetime – to kill that burp. But hey, I am a hit with my burps now. Even while greeting one, I would say a burpy Hi. Suits us well to have a burpy language – just going down more to the grassroots – a burpy vocab! So yeah, be on the receiving end to some stinky blabber there.
By the way, we even heard that a pregnancy heartburn will lead you to have a baby headfull of thick hair. Don’t go into a shock if your baby doesn’t turn out to be one of those Japanese or Chinese heads with thick hair. It’s the genes. Not a granny’s tale that makes your baby the way it is.