You had been counting the days to your friend’s due date – just as much as she had been doing – perhaps a little more than her because you were all the more elated about doing things for her and the new addition to her family. You had been wishing to feel the excitement of maternity once more (if you already are a mother) or get your rehearsals if you are planning to be one soon – there is a motherly side to every woman after all! To hold the cuddly-wuddly bundle of joy is what most women look forward to – even if it isn’t their own baby.
Babies are so indisputably adorable. You can neither wait to gift the mittens you’ve woven for the new born, nor can you withhold yourself to feel the creases of its skin or caress the tiny delight. But what does the woman who just brought the new life into the world think? She certainly cares for your excitement and she could appreciate your goodwill but with some golden implicit rules on visiting a newborn. You must first get your bearings around the foremost Dos and Don’ts when you plan your first visit. Our quick nuggets on the 5 Ds.
1. Don’t: Never Go To See The New Born At The Hospital:
If you have just received a message about the new arrival, don’t rush to the hospital to be the first visitor. For one, the mother has already endured too much and she is being ‘roomed in’ with her baby. The early hours after delivery are when the child must start bonding with the mother. Secondly, the more the people swarm in around the baby, the higher are the chances of potent infection! It’s the best to give the new parents their own time to get over the overwhelming feeling of – ‘Hey, we’ve just become Mom and Dad!”
Do: Help fetching needs.
You could ask the new parents if they need any help. While the nursing staff must already be doing their part, you could bring anything additional that they might need.
2. Don’t: Never Visit A Home Unannounced:
So the mother and baby have been discharged from the hospital and are homebound. But you don’t have to step in unannounced. Always call to ask if it is the best time to visit. The new mother is still getting used to feeding her child, and might need more privacy. She might be half-dressed, might not be looking at her best, or might be suffering from post-partum depression even if it isn’t evident. Remember not all mothers are comfortable bearing their chests for their babies in front of their best friends!
Do: Leave Your Footwear Out, And Bring In The Hand Sanitizer.
Don’t assume you have super-clean hands even you have washed them. The human body can turn into a great germ carrier (considering the normal body flora) within a few minutes. Before you can carry the baby in your arms, use the hand sanitizer. Also remember to remove your footwear outside the door.
3. Don’t: Never Carry The Baby Without Uttering Kind Words:
You will be surprised at this. But in any many cultures the baby must be talked to before carrying in one’s arms. This holds true especially when it’s sleeping. Although it might not understand what you speak, the subconscious mind that helps him recognize the security that a mother can offer might be dispelled with fear or shock if you hold him unwarned!
Do: Ask For The Mother’s Approval To Carry The Child.
Ask the mother if she is alright with you carrying the child for some time. With all probability she will be happy with the fawning.
4. Don’t: Don’t Visit When You Are Sick:
This can be unpardonable. The mother is not interested in you visiting with sneezes and coughs. Stay away from being a germ carrier. Also remember not to kiss the baby on the face or hands.
Do: Always Bring Gifts And Food.
The gift for the baby is undeniable. But gifts for the elder siblings might also be a great idea. They are less likely to bother the young one with all the “coo-coo-gaa-gaa” while being occupied with their gifts. And yes – the food – it could be brilliant; for who could be cooking so much in between nursing the two?
5. Don’t: No Taking Pictures Even If Solicited
You have no business taking pictures of the little one even with the approval of the parents. Remember that the flashes of a camera do no good to the young one. The tiny thing is already exposed to some flashes. Don’t allow for more. You could save it for the upcoming precious times.
Do: Be A Helping Hand.
Help in the kitchen – clean up the mess around. Do the necessary groceries for your friend. And be willing to give any of your advice only when asked.
Bear these in mind, and you surely are a hit with the tiny esteemed guest!