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Dear parents, it’s a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes, it is your fault. Raising children can feel like the hardest job you signed up for. Parents need an arsenal of patience, fortitude, and quick thinking to keep up with their little ones. And unfortunately, there is no handbook for parenting that will work for all your problems. A lot of it is just figuring out what works for your family as you face situations. As you go along, you may notice unpleasant mannerisms and specific behaviors that your child exhibits that you would like to rectify. But since you don’t always know the right way to approach them, you might make it worse. This can be frustrating and exhausting for both parties with no imminent result in sight. But it is important to keep in mind that your child has a reason for doing things and can be reasoned with. Sometimes it’s parents who need to change tactics to understand their child and stop a tantrum from breaking out.
Here are 4 things that parents do that cause their kids to throw tantrums:
1. Giving Into Impulse Reactions
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Have you ever noticed how your child sometimes does the exact thing you told them not to do a split second ago? This can be extremely frustrating to deal with but they are not doing this to vex you. Most children cannot control their impulse to do something they shouldn’t. Their self-control is still underdeveloped and they won’t get the hang of this skill until they are teenagers. So the process of teaching them to regulate their impulses is going to be long and drawn out. Giving into your impulses and having an outburst is not going to help them control themselves. In fact, it will only motivate them to continue doing things that get an explosive reaction out of you. The key is to stay as calm and collected as possible. This will also give you time to think and elicit the best reaction to get the right response from your child. Always take into account the intentions of your child and your intentions as a parent.
2. Not Knowing How To Read Their Emotions
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Even adults have mini tantrums, we just call them mood swings. Remember how grumpy you are when you’re hungry, tired or just want to be left alone? All humans are susceptible to being in a bad mood if they are stressed or sleep deprived and the same goes for children. The only difference between you and your child is that unlike you, they don’t know how to control or interpret their emotions. Their capacity for emotional control and communication is very limited which means they rely on you to observe them and act effectively in scenarios where they may be uncomfortable. Approach them in ways that will help them feel secure and confident to voice out what they are feeling or experiencing. Take them to a calm environment where they can gather themselves. Create an empathetic bond with your child by sharing issues you had growing up.
3. Not Allowing Them To Express Negative Emotions
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Your child feels a wide spectrum of emotions, just like you do. But kids can’t hide or suppress their emotions like adults do. Sometimes this can be a problem because not only do kids lack self-control and self-awareness, they also have no way to communicate their feelings with words. Your children are not civilized yet and don’t know how to react in socially acceptable ways, which is why they result in throwing a fit. So, it is important to help them find the right words to express what they are going through. Sometimes just naming the emotion and acknowledging it is enough to soothe them. Don’t try to stop your child from feeling a certain way instead reiterate what they are feeling. For example, saying “I know you are angry” or “ It’s okay to be sad” will do wonders for them. Sometimes quoting instances in a movie or series they really like will also do the trick.
4. Overstimulation
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That’s right, your child isn’t just yelling in the supermarket cause they think it’s a good time. Don’t get us wrong, your kid might have energy to spare and putting them in various activities is beneficial to them. But sometimes, they just don’t want to do anything and that’s normal. This may also include running errands with you. Kids can get overstimulated very quickly and the loud people,glaring lights, noise and congested spaces don’t help. If your child is screeching at a public space, chances are they are overstimulated and want some peace and quiet. Yelling at them will only make the screaming worse. When children are overwhelmed and exhausted, they can get hyperactive. This is just their way of getting your attention and indicating that they’re done shopping for the day.
Parenting can be tricky and figuring out how to read your kids takes time and practice. But now that you know what not to do, reacting with the appropriate response will help you avoid any future tantrums . Did we miss something on our list? Let us know in the comments section!
