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Motherhood is equal parts excitement and fear. Excitement because being with your baby is rewarding and fear that they are growing up too fast for your liking. There’s no doubt that being a mother is a huge responsibility. After all, you influence your kids directly especially when it comes to your daughters. The mother-daughter relationship is one of a kind. Daughters usually view their mothers as role models and will want to take after them. There is a certain affinity and understanding between a mother and her daughter which cannot be replicated in any other relationship. But this doesn’t mean that this equation is exactly the same for every mother-daughter duo. Mothers are humans too, and like all people, they have differences in personality and perspective. However the kind of relationship they’ve established with their daughter can be sorted mainly in 4 distinct types. And each one influences their daughters differently.
Here are 4 common types of mother-daughter relationships:
1. Bestfriends
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We’ve all heard the saying, “She’s not just my mom, she’s my best friend” and hearing moms describe their children as their best friends is common. This is often the case when their relationship is built on trust and understanding. If you are the first person to know exactly what’s going on in your baby girl’s life, then this is the dynamic you share. Your daughter is comfortable around you and wants to express her thoughts and problems to you. You may play a huge role in her life and are her greatest support. Be it a confidant, a shopping partner or partner in crime, you’ve always got her back. Girls with these kinds of mothers are more likely to take risks and are not afraid of facing challenges head on. Since they feel loved and understood, they don’t fear rejection and are inclined to facilitate relationships.
2. Dismissive
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We all know a girl in class who excelled in everything and had a roster full of achievements in extracurricular activities but is still extremely insecure. This may be because of the one-sided rejection they feel after being continuously dismissed by their mothers. If you are the type of mother that’s hard to impress and expects perfectionism, who rarely expresses approval or pride in your daughter’s achievements and efforts, this is the dynamic you both share. Daughters raised by this type of mother crave love and attention and are usually plagued by self doubt and feelings of unworthiness. They may have issues establishing other relationships as they don’t believe that people could love them or appreciate them.
3. The Cheerleader
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In this case, the mom is the daughter’s biggest support and cheerleader. She wants to be heavily involved in her daughter’s life and wants to be included in every decision she takes. Of course there is nothing wrong with supporting your little girl as she goes through life but failing to recognize when you need to step back and give her space and overstepping boundaries is not the way to do this. This type of mothers often live vicariously through their daughters achievements and lives and are therefore very demanding. All the dreams and expectations she had for herself now have turned into the daughter’s burden. This affects the daughter adversely, making her lose her sense of self and making her dependent on others to think for her. They may be unable to make their own decisions and are constantly seeking out the help of others.
4. Sisters
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Sometimes the mother-daughter relationship mimics that of sisters as they are both on equal footing with each other. They look out for each other and even compete with each other. However, this bond may be used as a way to escape the challenges of motherhood as it is easier to reverse roles in this dynamic. Oftentimes the daughter ends up taking on the supportive role and becomes more like a “mother” to her mother, learning to be mature and becoming loving, caring and responsible from an early age. Although these may sound like good qualities, this outcome is not desirable. Your child is still a child irrespective of what they sound like or the kind of adult behavior they try to emulate to put you at ease. They are more likely to feel unloved and emotionally neglected. As a result they fear rejection and keep people at a distance, seeing them as just one more responsibility to take care of.
Motherhood can seem like an endless and daunting task. The pressure of constantly having to provide for the needs of every child can be exhausting and overwhelming and it’s tempting to give into your own insecurities and doubts. Having introspective daughters around somehow makes things both better and worse. Sometimes it may feel like you finally have a confidant but other times it can feel like you’re being examined under a microscope. Whatever the case may be, it is important to keep in mind that your little girl loves you and will always want her mother by her side in one form or the other. The special bond you share will influence the kind of woman she becomes. So, it is important to establish a healthy dynamic. What type of mother do you think you are? Sound off in the comments below.
