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It’s the year 2021, and there has been a lot of awareness and change concerning the societal acceptance of gender. Stereotypes are shunned, and open-mindedness is encouraged among everyone. “Pink” for girls and “blue” for boys are regressive notions that have to go, and as parents of this generation, it’s our duty to teach our kids that there is no need to adhere to these standards laid out by society. If you catch your kids saying something strange or uncomfortable about gender, you probably don’t know how to react. You might catch them making fun of boys who play with princess dolls, and how you respond to that shapes their entire view on gender and stereotyping. That’s a lot of pressure, isn’t it?
We understand that it can be a complex topic to discuss with your kid. But don’t worry, because you’ve come to the right place! We are here to give you a few pointers on how to combat gender stereotypes as parents. So, keep reading, and maybe by the end of this article, you will be a tad more “woke”.
Preconceived Notions
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In a world that is already fighting because of differences, it’s crucial to raise tolerant children. Understand what your kid knows and where they are coming from. Don’t tell them what to think; ask them questions and understand what they believe in — get to the root of the issue.
Kids learn from what they observe around them. So, if you see that they are adhering to gender stereotypes, take some time to learn how to respond to them. It’s a big responsibility, and you want to get it right. So, here are a few responses to questions, statements, and thoughts your kids may hit you up with about gender and its complexity:
“He Looks Like A Girl”
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Why Is It An Issue?
Saying that a boy looks like a girl or vice versa means that they believe boys and girls are supposed to look a certain way. They are already allowing gender to define their appearance. So, here’s how you can respond to them: “Why do you think he looks like a girl?”
If the kid has long hair and your child has typically seen only women with long hair, they could make this assumption. The appropriate response here would be to show them real-life examples of men with long hair so they’ll stop associating long hair with women.
“Is That A Boy Or A Girl?”
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Why Is It An Issue?
No one likes to be the subject of this question, but if your child asks you this question, it could be because they have a genuine curiosity. They want to learn the gender rules and believe that belonging to a particular gender means you have to tick off certain boxes. But in reality, that’s far from the truth. Your response could be, “I don’t know, you will have to ask them.”
By saying this, you are establishing that a person’s gender cannot be assumed simply based on appearance. A person’s gender identity might be different from their gender expression, and the sooner your kid understands this, the clearer it makes it for them.
“Princess Dresses Are For Girls”
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Why Is It An Issue?
It might seem like a harmless stereotype, but these are the kinds of statements and beliefs that translate to things like women cannot be scientists and men cannot be ballet dancers on a larger scale. Your response could be, “Says who? Princess dresses are for anyone who wants to wear them.”
Allow your kid to explore their gender identity. If your son wants to wear a dress, let them. If your daughter wants to play with trucks, let her. Conforming your kids to gender roles does more damage than good, and it’s time to stop. Make your kids realize their own stereotypes and break them free from them.
“Boys Are Mean”
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Why Is It An Issue?
The last thing you want is your kids to be spewed with the #NotAllMen comment. A generalized statement calling all boys mean is wrong, and you must let your kids know that. Remind them about the men (boys) in their life who are sweet. You could give her examples of when boys were nice to her to jog her memory.
Tell your daughter that just because one boy in her class pulled her hair or made her fall off a swing, not all boys are like that. Ask her, “What about the boy who helped you when you fell in the playground?”. Your daughter will instantly take back her statement because not ALL boys are mean.
Gender is a complicated topic. It’s a broad spectrum, and your kids can fall anywhere on that spectrum. So, teaching them that a boy does this and a girl does that can be harmful. Instead, let them be. Allow them to do what they want without curbing their identity and let them find what works best for them. Do you agree with us? Let us know in the comments below!
