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Every time a woman who is a mother describes her journey of becoming one, the stories are filled with sunshine and rainbows. “It’s miraculous; it’s a blessing, it’s a feeling that no one else will ever experience”, are things we hear about motherhood. There is no doubt that they are all true, but why do people fail to speak about both sides of motherhood? Ever since I became a mother, I know that the journey of motherhood does not only describe roses and rainbows. There are days when it feels like a dark stormy rain cloud and a flower of thorns. And I want to talk about it. Because no one tells you that in reality, being a mother sucks. It sucks big time.
A mother’s job is a thankless one. It begins even before the baby is born. Ever since you conceive until the day your kids are grown adults (maybe even after), your role as a mother does not change. I wish someone had told me about this before I had kids. Because as much as I was prepared for change when I found out I was going to be a mother, I wasn’t aware of how difficult it would be on some days.
A typical day in my life went something like this. I would wake up in the wee hours of the morning and get some work done. By work I mean, I would do the laundry, take a shower, and, if I had the time, make a cup of coffee or tea for myself before my baby wakes. Once she is up, I have to feed her, change her, bathe her, and put her to sleep, you know, the usual. Every alternate day or so, I would massage her with oil and lay her in some sunlight. Every few hours, I had to change her, feed her, and put her to sleep again. Sometimes if she got cranky, I would carry her around, sing to her and take her around the area for a quick but short walk so that she isn’t restless.
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While my baby slept, I would have to cook, clean, do the dishes, laundry and try to get some sleep. I would also pump some breast milk in case I have work calls and other responsibilities. There were also times when I had to buy baby essentials and other items for the house. My day was more or less the same every day, and eventually, that got to me.
Where was my time? I couldn’t spare even one hour every day to rest and get some me-time. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t wish for time off from my baby. But as soon as that thought came to mind, I used to feel very guilty. I thought to myself, “What kind of a mother wishes that she needs a break from a baby? Am I a bad mother?”, but hey, guess what? I’m not. And neither are you if you’ve ever thought the same.
Yes, we signed up for motherhood, and we are ready for everything that comes with it. But we are only human, and it’s only natural to want a break from anything overwhelming. So dear moms, don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve got the time to learn and unlearn. You’ve got the time to grow with your little one, and you don’t have to feel guilty for wanting a little break from them. Your partner, friends, siblings, and other relatives can pitch in and help you recoup, and you don’t have to feel bad about it. No one became a mother overnight; it happens with time. You got this, just like I did!
