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If you have an older child at home, you may already be familiar with the struggles of helping your child adapt to the new baby. Whether your child is 2, 5, or 8 years old, it is important that he/she adjusts to the new family dynamic and doesn’t feel left out. Don’t be disheartened if you are feeling lost at ways to help your little one bond with the baby. Your child might be confused with the new family member whom he/she could not even play with like they’d hoped. Not to mention when the tiny, squirming little thing is getting all of mommy’s attention. Here are 7 ways you can help your firstborn feel more included and make this transition easier for them:
1. Educate Them
You don’t want to surprise your child with a newborn and leave them clueless. Right from the news of your pregnancy, tell them about all the changes that will happen in their life and mommy’s. How you will have a baby bump and they will have a sibling in 9 months. Explain to them that the baby will cry a lot and you will have to spend a lot of time with them. The more info you can share with them, the better.
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2. Get ‘Em Involved
Get your child involved in the baby preparations such as decorating the nursery, packing your hospital bag, picking out baby clothes, and so much more. Even if they are too young to be assigned major responsibilities, your child can still be a part of the day-to-day activities once the baby arrives. You can teach him to dress the baby, put on lotion or powder, or help click baby pictures. If they are old enough, they can even help you prep baby food.
3. Seek Their Help
Seeking their help is yet another way of getting them involved. This will make them feel needed and valued. Your child can help in choosing baby outfits for the day, fetching diapers, or if they are old enough, babysitting. This way your child will feel that they also play a vital role in taking care of the baby.
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4. Allow Them To Express How They Feel
Every child takes their own time to cope with the change in family dynamics as a result of the new baby. They may feel lost, confused, and have feelings of anger, frustration, or sadness. Instead of dismissing or ignoring their feelings, help your child feel comfortable about expressing how they feel, followed by proper guidance from your end.
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5. Stay Calm
Parenting is never easy, especially when you have two little souls entirely dependent on you in so many ways. Between breastfeeding, diaper duties, and sleep-deprivation, there are gonna be times when you might lose your cool with your older child, especially when you are in a hurry to get things done and your child is about to start a temper tantrum. It’s important to remain calm in such instances and allow yourself the time to feel better by leaving the room or taking a deep breath.
6. Avoid Comparisons
Comparisons of any sort are a strict NO. Parents have the habit of comparing their two kids knowingly or unknowingly. It’s best to avoid any talks on how one child hit a particular milestone faster than the other. If your kid is too sensitive, chances are they may not like this comparison and may even feel pressured in certain situations. It’s important to remember that each child is different and unique in their own way.
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7. Make Your Child Feel Special
Being a new parent is an exciting time in your life. But don’t let everything be about your baby. Express your love for your firstborn through words and actions. Try to give them your time and attention to avoid any feelings of neglect. Praise them when they do good and show your love via hugs and kisses.
Granted, it can be a challenging time for everyone in your family. Adjusting to this change may take some time. If your friends or family are open to help you out in little ways they can, don’t hesitate to take them up on that offer. Focus on your physical and emotional well being and enjoy this new phase of your life.
