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Being a mother is never an easy task. Let it be your first child or your fourth; the struggles are real. However, it’s the most difficult when you are a new mom and you have absolutely no clue what to do.
Although family counselor and mom of three Diana Eidelman was a confident woman outside, her confidence disappeared at home. In her TEDTalk, she shared “The confident women I used to be dissipated and disappeared, and I couldn’t recognize myself.” At one point, she felt that a baby’s cry was similar to an ambulances siren. She also felt that she wasn’t doing a good job and other moms were better than her.
Yes, while motherhood is exhausting, if a new mom understands and accepts the changes in her new life they will find relief. Eidelman created the acronym G.I.F.T. which when applied can change the perspective of a new mom:
G.I.F.T Go. Inhale. Feed. Touch.
Go!
Eidelman explained that moving around, dancing and playing with the new baby releases endorphins. The release of endorphins in the body makes you happier. This will result in a happy new mom.
Inhale
(and exhale). Don’t panic when you hear your baby crying. The first thing to do is take a breath and calm down. A calm mom will encourage a calm baby. This will help soothe the baby as well.
Feed!
Not only the baby, but you need to eat healthy as well. Babies will require you to feed them several times in a day and you need to have the energy to do so.
Touch.
Touch plays a large part in psychological wellbeing among babies. When you touch your baby, the levels of oxytocin rise and they will feel more loved. This love will also be reciprocated making you feel happier. It should also be understood that babies learn through touch and this way, they will learn how to love and understand their environment.
And that’s not all. Eidelman decided to speak to other new moms and use her personal experience to find a way to help new moms and families. Her observations enabled her to understand how the dynamics of everyday life changes after birth and how a new mum can adjust to the new “normal.”
1. You Can Never Really Prepare For Child Care
Most new moms “study” baby care before giving birth in order to be “prepared.” The truth is, no matter how many articles, books and research you read, NOTHING prepares you for the reality of the situation. Each baby is different and techniques have different effects on each baby. What may work on your first born won’t necessarily work with your second or third. When it comes to parenting, experience goes a long way.
2. Adults And Babies Have A Conflict Of Interests
Eidelman pointed out that while home is a place for adults to come and relax, for babies, home is a place of play. For nine months, babies were in a womb which to them is home and it was full of rippling water which enabled them to do somersaults. So for a baby, coming home means movement. Experimenting with the environment and motion. This isn’t the case with adults.
3. A Baby Can Overwhelm The Mind
Although there are several tasks to do in a day, new moms often find themselves trying to speak to their new borns with obviously no response. It will take months before any verbal response is returned. New moms spend a lot of time in their heads While there may be laundry to do or lunch to cook, the new mom would’ve had swinging moments of reality where she dislikes the changes in her body and as Eidelman says, ”You don’t feel like yourself.”
4. Parenting Offers No Definitive Measures Of Achievement
Being a parent is a full-time job. There are no holidays, pay days or evaluations.
Being a parent requires you to be present all the time. You are responsible for most decisions and for a Woman who is used to doing things well, this may be intimidating and cause the feeling of helplessness.
Eidelman sums up the first year of new motherhood by explaining that our bodies act as an interactive bridge for our babies into the environment. This helps in the exploration of the world. It is through our bodies that our baby learns how to move and ultimately grow into independent individuals. Initially, they require us 24hours a day but as they grow, they won’t. So enjoy early motherhood and make memories out of it.
