Image: iStock
We mommies have many guilt moments often to the point that we begin to wonder whether we are good or bad moms. Not that a mother decides that by the norms expected by the society. The motherly instinct is so deep-rooted and innate that nobody needs to tell her what she has to do with her children or how she must treat them.
If you are one of those mothers who goes to sleep in the night introspecting her duties and behavior towards her children, and want to be a better mother when you wake up in the morning, you are just another typical mom who is expecting too much of herself.
But consider the situations and the naivety of your little ones. How obedient can your toddler be, after all! Imagine all the dried clothes coming from the clothes line, you folding them neat ready to be put in the wardrobe, and within the wink of an eye, the near-ironed-looking clothes become a heap of laundry – your little ones have made their first goal already by strewing the arrangement apart. And it is just one of the instances. You might or might not yell, but say something out of shock. It will keep ticking your mind through the night.
You will try hard to refrain from saying something again. But guess what, just yelling at your child would not make you a bad mom. If moms don’t correct their children then who would! Here are a few more instances when you wonder why someone would want to call you a bad mom, while you can very well justify that you’ve been good:
1. You allow your child to watch TV and the internet.
People: How can you allow your toddler stick to an idiot box?
You: It allows me time to wind up tasks uninterrupted so that I can give my child more quality and constructive time for rest of the day. It doesn’t make me a bad mom, does it?
2. You let your baby sleep with you in your bed.
People: We’d rather stick the baby in its baby cot.
You: I’d rather let my baby snuggle in with me and feel my warmth. It doesn’t make me a bad mom, does it?
3. Your two-year-old still wears diapers while others are toilet-training their kids.
People: It’s high time your train him.
You: Nope. Not when I know that he wouldn’t be quick to express before he has soiled the carpet or the cushions. He still has time to be trained. Doesn’t make me a bad mom, does it?
4. You breastfeed your two-year-old.
People: Isn’t your child too old for it?
You: Neither the WHO nor the doctors say so! Does that make me a bad mom?
5. You still spoon-feed your two-year-old while the rest have begun to train on eating independently.
People: We are surprised your baby isn’t attempting to eat on his own.
You: I’d rather want to monitor how optimally he is eating before I can move on teaching him table manners. Does that make me a bad mom?
6. You don’t force-feed your child.
People: How would your child gain his nutrition?
You: I’d rather want my child to get his hunger pangs and then ask for a meal, so he eats well and enjoys it at the same time. Force-feeding does no good to the child. Does that make me a bad mom?
7. You don’t mind letting your child scribble on the walls.
People: Doesn’t he need some more discipline?
You: I’d rather let him write on one corner of the wall instead of restraining him and the make him stealthily scribble all over. Does that make me a bad mom?
It’s not just these. A myriad of instances would tell how you might take a different stand in comparison to other mothers (who you never know, might be treading the same path as you secretively!). But so long as you are allowing your child to evolve in its little ways, you sure are not being a bad mom!
